again.... with the randomness that consumes life
1). Wearing a hoodie and jeans to work, so underrated and so fantastic
2). Having one of my persian girlfriends say "you are my gay consultant so I'm going to be your dating a persian man consultant," she's trying her damndest to get me to get hooked up with a nice persian doctor/lawyer.. p.s. she's apparently recruited me to be her consultant for her upcoming beauty pageant..... yeah I've got no idea what I'm doing.
3). Friday night with greasy chinese food, Steel Magnolias, and a great friend? Something I've been looking forward to all week!!!!
4). Friendster having a "who's viewed my profile" section, I may never do work again.
5). I'm excited/nervous about starting to volunteer as an AIDS counselor for sex workers in D.C. we shall see how all that turns out.....
Anyone want to do happy hour next week? I'm game on Thursday..........
Thursday, September 29, 2005
Wednesday, September 28, 2005
A hub...... of AWKWARD
It seems that I attract awkward situations, whether I bring them upon myself with my dazzling wit and extreme social tact or what have you, last night post kickball game was chock-a-block FULL of them.... at least in my opinion.
At one point I was sitting on the couch at the bar and nursing a beer and a girl on the kickball team I play on comes and sits down and starts talking with me, however it was painfully clear that I did not really want some engaging conversation and was more than content to sit and just watch what was going on. What ensued?? Oh that's right, the most awkward exchange of....."so you thinking about grad school?"..... and "so kickball's fun huh?" yeah freaking sweet. I was trying to attract someone's attention to either join in the conversation or spirit me away but my half hearted attempts with me being a space cadet were to no avail and she just kept yammering. PLUS she was a close talker which I don't really enjoy all that much.
Then there was the conversation with the same girl, another straight girl, and a straight guy all debating how much fun it would be if they were gay men and how we had so much fun all the time and how fabulous all gay men were. Now I quite enjoy the lifestyle and the liberties that I take with it in my social interactions, however I'm not necessarily interested in discussing the particulars with a bunch of random people nor am I necessarily interested of having my life put under a microscope, even if it is envied.... it's a little too wild kingdom for me. Also these people obviously haven't been to J.R.'s on a random evening, not exactly a buyers market is it?
The third and perhaps the most awkward conversation of the evening occurred when Chip, I and our friends T + C were talking about the size of a gentlemans "area". Now C is a straight male whom I've known for quite a number of years, and we were talking about people about whom I have that type of infromation, that we both went to HS/played baseball with and how he was so suprised at my commentary. I think I made some sort of joke about knowing his ex-gf so I knew what he was hiding beneath his bvd's and that was good for yet another awkward bomb.... awesome!!! It was one of those situations where it was so awkward it wasn't, just because everyone involved was so frank about the situation... I laughed on the inside.
I decided to be a party pooper and go home after the first bar and curl up with a disney movie and a PB&J sandwich.... sounds like a good wednesday night to me!!!! Plus our kickball team kicked ASS, chip had a home run, I'm pretty sure I'm just on the team for my looks as I didn't make it on base once.... earlier in the evening C recounted the story of how when we were on the same baseball team in the fourth grade and I was in right field..shocker... I made the catch of the game by closing my eyes and sticking out my glove.... the ONLY catch I made all year, no wonder I stuck to aquatic sports....
At one point I was sitting on the couch at the bar and nursing a beer and a girl on the kickball team I play on comes and sits down and starts talking with me, however it was painfully clear that I did not really want some engaging conversation and was more than content to sit and just watch what was going on. What ensued?? Oh that's right, the most awkward exchange of....."so you thinking about grad school?"..... and "so kickball's fun huh?" yeah freaking sweet. I was trying to attract someone's attention to either join in the conversation or spirit me away but my half hearted attempts with me being a space cadet were to no avail and she just kept yammering. PLUS she was a close talker which I don't really enjoy all that much.
Then there was the conversation with the same girl, another straight girl, and a straight guy all debating how much fun it would be if they were gay men and how we had so much fun all the time and how fabulous all gay men were. Now I quite enjoy the lifestyle and the liberties that I take with it in my social interactions, however I'm not necessarily interested in discussing the particulars with a bunch of random people nor am I necessarily interested of having my life put under a microscope, even if it is envied.... it's a little too wild kingdom for me. Also these people obviously haven't been to J.R.'s on a random evening, not exactly a buyers market is it?
The third and perhaps the most awkward conversation of the evening occurred when Chip, I and our friends T + C were talking about the size of a gentlemans "area". Now C is a straight male whom I've known for quite a number of years, and we were talking about people about whom I have that type of infromation, that we both went to HS/played baseball with and how he was so suprised at my commentary. I think I made some sort of joke about knowing his ex-gf so I knew what he was hiding beneath his bvd's and that was good for yet another awkward bomb.... awesome!!! It was one of those situations where it was so awkward it wasn't, just because everyone involved was so frank about the situation... I laughed on the inside.
I decided to be a party pooper and go home after the first bar and curl up with a disney movie and a PB&J sandwich.... sounds like a good wednesday night to me!!!! Plus our kickball team kicked ASS, chip had a home run, I'm pretty sure I'm just on the team for my looks as I didn't make it on base once.... earlier in the evening C recounted the story of how when we were on the same baseball team in the fourth grade and I was in right field..shocker... I made the catch of the game by closing my eyes and sticking out my glove.... the ONLY catch I made all year, no wonder I stuck to aquatic sports....
Quickie
1) If you didn't go outside yesterday, shame on you. It was absolutely delightful. Even in my heinously uncomfortable work shoes, I couldn't have been happier on my walk from Foggy Bottom to Dupont.
2) Amazing Race Sseason premier last night, and I am STOKED!!! If you don't watch this show, please tune in. They're trying "family edition" this season, so I can't vouch for how it will turn out, but it is definitely the best reality television show. EVER.
3) Normally I hate my job, and I bitch about it a lot, but today it has been wonderful. Gotta share the bad AND the good...
4) As much as Best Buy is dragging their feet with regards to my digital camera, I found out that I'm getting a new one for free! This is nothing short of incredible. Stay tuned as to how long it takes me to break this one.
5) I love rediscovering random things. Last night, the various radio stations on iTunes. I relaxed to one of the stations under the Ambient category. So much good music, so easily accessible! I especially love this iTunes feature, because I really have few other outlets for good electronic music (and I'm not talking about the lateste Janet megamix). In the words of Erik Sermon, "I wish music could adopt me."
6) Gayest moment of my day on Tuesday: talking about eye brow maintenance with my two female co-workers... What is this, Blow Out?
2) Amazing Race Sseason premier last night, and I am STOKED!!! If you don't watch this show, please tune in. They're trying "family edition" this season, so I can't vouch for how it will turn out, but it is definitely the best reality television show. EVER.
3) Normally I hate my job, and I bitch about it a lot, but today it has been wonderful. Gotta share the bad AND the good...
4) As much as Best Buy is dragging their feet with regards to my digital camera, I found out that I'm getting a new one for free! This is nothing short of incredible. Stay tuned as to how long it takes me to break this one.
5) I love rediscovering random things. Last night, the various radio stations on iTunes. I relaxed to one of the stations under the Ambient category. So much good music, so easily accessible! I especially love this iTunes feature, because I really have few other outlets for good electronic music (and I'm not talking about the lateste Janet megamix). In the words of Erik Sermon, "I wish music could adopt me."
6) Gayest moment of my day on Tuesday: talking about eye brow maintenance with my two female co-workers... What is this, Blow Out?
Tuesday, September 27, 2005
You've got to have friiiieeeends
So recently I've been going through a lot of stuff, stress over grad school, stress at my job (apparently everyone's quitting and now I get to do the job of 2-3 people and get yelled at by all the people that those 2-3 people entail *P.S. no raise.... yeah they suck like a bj with braces), dealing with ex's and the joy's that only they can bring into your life when they feel the need to constantly try to play games with your head.... I dealt with that by telling them to Eff off in no-uncertain terms. However as this time hasn't been the best I've had in recent memories it's actually times like this that make me stop and think.... you know, I'm pretty lucky, I have great friends, a steady job, and I look FABULOUS! However the most important out of all these things is perhaps the friends so I got to thinking on what entails having a REAL friend.... so far I've come up with.
1). Greasy Chinese food and watching Beaches can constitute a productive QT night.
2). They've seen you in ridiculous clothing (I had a weak moment with a Burberry Square cut and matching bucket hat when I was living on the continent....I'm so ashamed) and still allowed you to be seen in public with them
3).They've ever stuck up for you with no gain of their own
4). They will call you out when you're not acting your best and you actually take their comments seriously.
5). When you call THEM out on when they're not operating so smoothly and they take your comments seriously
6). They'll tell you to your face that the guy you're dating/talking to/socializing with, is an ass and you need to not introduce the BGD (Big Gay Drama) into your life, and not wait for the fallout.
7). They'll help you if you don't listen to them and the fallout occurs, and only say "I told you so" once.
8). They've dealt with you when you get embarrassingly drunk.... and still talk to you.
So as bad as life can get at times.... and it can get pretty shitty.... knowing that you have friends around makes it all a little better.
1). Greasy Chinese food and watching Beaches can constitute a productive QT night.
2). They've seen you in ridiculous clothing (I had a weak moment with a Burberry Square cut and matching bucket hat when I was living on the continent....I'm so ashamed) and still allowed you to be seen in public with them
3).They've ever stuck up for you with no gain of their own
4). They will call you out when you're not acting your best and you actually take their comments seriously.
5). When you call THEM out on when they're not operating so smoothly and they take your comments seriously
6). They'll tell you to your face that the guy you're dating/talking to/socializing with, is an ass and you need to not introduce the BGD (Big Gay Drama) into your life, and not wait for the fallout.
7). They'll help you if you don't listen to them and the fallout occurs, and only say "I told you so" once.
8). They've dealt with you when you get embarrassingly drunk.... and still talk to you.
So as bad as life can get at times.... and it can get pretty shitty.... knowing that you have friends around makes it all a little better.
Monday, September 26, 2005
More from the Fin de Semana
A few addendums to Dale's recap:
Friday night, after spending the majority of the evening on apps, I went over a a friend's to watch Say Anything, which I hadn't seen before. I was expecting it to be very light, but a few parts of it definitely caught me by surprise. While I normally want to jump Jeremy Piven's bones, he looked like ass it that hat...
Bagles, Etc. on P street is my new favorite breakfast spot in this city. It has the quality I come to expect from mom & pop bagel shops, the quality that is incredibly absent from evil establishments Manhattan Bagel and Einstein's among others. My friend L and I split an egg, cheese and sausage everything bagel and an everything bagel with lite veggie cream cheese, tomato, sprouts and cucumbers. It was phenomenal, and phenomenally cheap. I assure you, I will be there every Saturday (and possibly Sunday) mornings.
Saturday night, as Dale has explained, was a bbq and concert on the mall, followed by my frist visit to the newly renovated Halo. When we got there, we were confronted with a line. This is not New York, I don't appreciate waiting in lines. I soon realized that this was largely due to the excessive use of furniture on the first floor, leading to less standing room, and more waiting. I understand the desire to create a lounge-y feel, but come Saturday night, do something to move some of the furniture out of the way. One of the bartenders was handsome and friendly, but then I realized (read: Dale told me) he was straight... GET SOME GAY BARTENDERS! If I'm going to pay for overpriced mojitos, you better believe I expect them to be served by a homo, not some wannabe metro.
Sunday, I got my hair did (I'm test driving a new look, so far, it doesn't look like it's going to make the cut) and enjoyed some tasty produce courtesy of the Dupont Farmers' Market. Note to self, while white peaches do have a lot of appeal, they aren't that great. After tag-teaming the area grocery stores (Soviet Safeway and Whole Foods), I spent the rest of my afternoon watching sports. Given my impression of this site's readers, I won't elaborate, but I will say that it was fantastic.
Lastly, I dropped my digi cam off at Best Buy before labor day and have yet to hear anything from them. They are the sole occupant of my shit list right now. I called a million times (aka, 5) yesterday, but apparently, answering their phones is too difficult. I spoke with Geek Squad member Carter on Friday, and he said he would look into it and get back to me within an hour. What kind of "hour" did he have in mind?
P.S. "Hootie Hoo" is my absolute favorite Outkast song, and it should be yours too.
Friday night, after spending the majority of the evening on apps, I went over a a friend's to watch Say Anything, which I hadn't seen before. I was expecting it to be very light, but a few parts of it definitely caught me by surprise. While I normally want to jump Jeremy Piven's bones, he looked like ass it that hat...
Bagles, Etc. on P street is my new favorite breakfast spot in this city. It has the quality I come to expect from mom & pop bagel shops, the quality that is incredibly absent from evil establishments Manhattan Bagel and Einstein's among others. My friend L and I split an egg, cheese and sausage everything bagel and an everything bagel with lite veggie cream cheese, tomato, sprouts and cucumbers. It was phenomenal, and phenomenally cheap. I assure you, I will be there every Saturday (and possibly Sunday) mornings.
Saturday night, as Dale has explained, was a bbq and concert on the mall, followed by my frist visit to the newly renovated Halo. When we got there, we were confronted with a line. This is not New York, I don't appreciate waiting in lines. I soon realized that this was largely due to the excessive use of furniture on the first floor, leading to less standing room, and more waiting. I understand the desire to create a lounge-y feel, but come Saturday night, do something to move some of the furniture out of the way. One of the bartenders was handsome and friendly, but then I realized (read: Dale told me) he was straight... GET SOME GAY BARTENDERS! If I'm going to pay for overpriced mojitos, you better believe I expect them to be served by a homo, not some wannabe metro.
Sunday, I got my hair did (I'm test driving a new look, so far, it doesn't look like it's going to make the cut) and enjoyed some tasty produce courtesy of the Dupont Farmers' Market. Note to self, while white peaches do have a lot of appeal, they aren't that great. After tag-teaming the area grocery stores (Soviet Safeway and Whole Foods), I spent the rest of my afternoon watching sports. Given my impression of this site's readers, I won't elaborate, but I will say that it was fantastic.
Lastly, I dropped my digi cam off at Best Buy before labor day and have yet to hear anything from them. They are the sole occupant of my shit list right now. I called a million times (aka, 5) yesterday, but apparently, answering their phones is too difficult. I spoke with Geek Squad member Carter on Friday, and he said he would look into it and get back to me within an hour. What kind of "hour" did he have in mind?
P.S. "Hootie Hoo" is my absolute favorite Outkast song, and it should be yours too.
Saturday, September 24, 2005
Weekend Roundup.... things that I heart!
So friday afternoon had rolled around and I was raring for the weekend so I decided to let up some pent up rage on the woman at the Louis Vuitton counter at Neiman Marcus. Yes yes, I know, it is "wrong" to take out stress related rage on someone who works in retail because retail is hell on earth but there was no one else around and I needed some therapy. However as soon as the woman picked up the phone and said "Hello this is the Louis Vuitton counter" in that london british accent she was utilizing I melted like a popcicle in july....we had a nice little chat about my orders that I had waiting and I went on my way..
Bistrot du Coin, delicious, overpriced, but still worth it given the company and drinks at Halo was a good way to start off the weekend.
Saturday for some odd and yet to be determined reason, I felt the need to be more productive than a hummingbird on cocaine, I got up at 8, studied till noon... DOMINATED the practice GRE and then decided to go to the gym and prepare for a BBQ for some friends...
Remember the time that I couldn't do anything that is attributed to straight men? like program a vcr, change oil or do anything mechanical, OR light a grill? Yeah I ended up having to cook the hamburgers on the stove and broil the shish kebabs in the broiler..... ah well
Thievery Corporation was awesome on the mall.... the only part that wasn't awesome was walking an ASS long ways to find a bathroom, I do NOT do the outdoors peeing....although I know someone that defaced the side of one smithsonians fine museums with his pee... *cough* chip *cough*.
Lazy Sundays are a secret love of mine, laundry, grocery, and sitting and watching sweet home alabama and getting just a bit misty when Reese Witherspoon walks into tiffanys and all the diamonds light up! Plus how classy is it when her bf asks her to marry him and the employees don't clap!!! pure class!! P.S. the first time I saw this movie in the theatre I gasped when that happened and my BF at the time had to chastise me, also saw him at Halo on saturday, thankfully Chip stopped me from saying hello, that could have been bad since I had him banned from Cobalt and Sadlands in 2002..... Hell hath no fury....
Ending your Sunday night with a conversation with your mother that goes
Me: Hi Mom I saw "the ex" last night
Mom: How did he look?
Me: He looks a little heavy
Mom: well isn't that nice, that must make you feel good
best way to end the weekend!!!!! (that is until certain unnamed parties decided to be a jerk and hung up the phone on me.... but I'm not mad about that....not at all... OH and getting random IM's from two ex's and a sketchy gentleman that's been trying to have sex with me for 5 years... I mean I've got to give him points for persistence)
Back to the hell that is corporate america..... yikes-o-rama...
Bistrot du Coin, delicious, overpriced, but still worth it given the company and drinks at Halo was a good way to start off the weekend.
Saturday for some odd and yet to be determined reason, I felt the need to be more productive than a hummingbird on cocaine, I got up at 8, studied till noon... DOMINATED the practice GRE and then decided to go to the gym and prepare for a BBQ for some friends...
Remember the time that I couldn't do anything that is attributed to straight men? like program a vcr, change oil or do anything mechanical, OR light a grill? Yeah I ended up having to cook the hamburgers on the stove and broil the shish kebabs in the broiler..... ah well
Thievery Corporation was awesome on the mall.... the only part that wasn't awesome was walking an ASS long ways to find a bathroom, I do NOT do the outdoors peeing....although I know someone that defaced the side of one smithsonians fine museums with his pee... *cough* chip *cough*.
Lazy Sundays are a secret love of mine, laundry, grocery, and sitting and watching sweet home alabama and getting just a bit misty when Reese Witherspoon walks into tiffanys and all the diamonds light up! Plus how classy is it when her bf asks her to marry him and the employees don't clap!!! pure class!! P.S. the first time I saw this movie in the theatre I gasped when that happened and my BF at the time had to chastise me, also saw him at Halo on saturday, thankfully Chip stopped me from saying hello, that could have been bad since I had him banned from Cobalt and Sadlands in 2002..... Hell hath no fury....
Ending your Sunday night with a conversation with your mother that goes
Me: Hi Mom I saw "the ex" last night
Mom: How did he look?
Me: He looks a little heavy
Mom: well isn't that nice, that must make you feel good
best way to end the weekend!!!!! (that is until certain unnamed parties decided to be a jerk and hung up the phone on me.... but I'm not mad about that....not at all... OH and getting random IM's from two ex's and a sketchy gentleman that's been trying to have sex with me for 5 years... I mean I've got to give him points for persistence)
Back to the hell that is corporate america..... yikes-o-rama...
Friday, September 23, 2005
Frizzzziday Five!!!!
It's that time of the week.... Five Random thoughts that have bubbled to the surface throughout the week...
1). Being a lifeguard is hands down the best job I've ever had and I wish I were doing that right now instead of being a research peon. There are no overhead costs, the swimsuits are provided, all you have to buy is sunscreen and make sure your nalgene is filled with delicious ice water and you're golden!! Plus you get paid to have a tan, talk with your friends (depending who's on duty with you) go swimming, and work out.... you really can't beat it. Plus everybody knows that lifeguards are always the coolest!!! Oh and you get to look at hot guys.
2). Kickball is the funnest... that's right I said funnest. Plus this weeks game was the most ridiculous I've participated in yet.. After beating the CRIZAP out of the other team (who had to forfeit because they didn't have enough girls) PS the girls on our team ROCK out with their C*CKS out and we dominated them like whoah. Then we proceeded to the bar where the team that we had just beat informed us that they wanted to "beat us in something" and challenged us to best of 5 games of flipcup... we beat them the first three and proceeded to taunt them...taunt them BAD.
3). Standardized testing is a horrible sadistic, non-reflective image of one's mental capacity. GRE's I hate you with the fiery passion of a thousand suns. PS I plan on making the GRE's my B*tch in the near future... watch out GRE's and get the lube ready cuz you're getting screwed.
4). Having a fabric marker around a bunch of drunken kickballers writing on each others t-shirts is priceles.... I wrote in arabic on a guy from israels shirt and some sort of reference to fisting on some other guys shirt and then had written on the back of my shirt some sort of hebrew slogan (from the israeli) and a comment that said "insert here" with an arrow pointing to my butt. AND THEN, after the straight bar, on the way home, going to JR's cuz Chip wanted to stop in for an as to yet determined reason and not knowing why people were staring at my back........ priceless.
5). I really hope the people coming to the mall for the concert and rally this weekend don't park in my neighborhood, I'll save my ranting on tourists for another time but suffice it to say that growing up in this city I have a certain "appreciation" for tourists in the Nations Capitol. Two words.... Fanny Packs.... nuf said.
.......have a great weekend!!!!!!
1). Being a lifeguard is hands down the best job I've ever had and I wish I were doing that right now instead of being a research peon. There are no overhead costs, the swimsuits are provided, all you have to buy is sunscreen and make sure your nalgene is filled with delicious ice water and you're golden!! Plus you get paid to have a tan, talk with your friends (depending who's on duty with you) go swimming, and work out.... you really can't beat it. Plus everybody knows that lifeguards are always the coolest!!! Oh and you get to look at hot guys.
2). Kickball is the funnest... that's right I said funnest. Plus this weeks game was the most ridiculous I've participated in yet.. After beating the CRIZAP out of the other team (who had to forfeit because they didn't have enough girls) PS the girls on our team ROCK out with their C*CKS out and we dominated them like whoah. Then we proceeded to the bar where the team that we had just beat informed us that they wanted to "beat us in something" and challenged us to best of 5 games of flipcup... we beat them the first three and proceeded to taunt them...taunt them BAD.
3). Standardized testing is a horrible sadistic, non-reflective image of one's mental capacity. GRE's I hate you with the fiery passion of a thousand suns. PS I plan on making the GRE's my B*tch in the near future... watch out GRE's and get the lube ready cuz you're getting screwed.
4). Having a fabric marker around a bunch of drunken kickballers writing on each others t-shirts is priceles.... I wrote in arabic on a guy from israels shirt and some sort of reference to fisting on some other guys shirt and then had written on the back of my shirt some sort of hebrew slogan (from the israeli) and a comment that said "insert here" with an arrow pointing to my butt. AND THEN, after the straight bar, on the way home, going to JR's cuz Chip wanted to stop in for an as to yet determined reason and not knowing why people were staring at my back........ priceless.
5). I really hope the people coming to the mall for the concert and rally this weekend don't park in my neighborhood, I'll save my ranting on tourists for another time but suffice it to say that growing up in this city I have a certain "appreciation" for tourists in the Nations Capitol. Two words.... Fanny Packs.... nuf said.
.......have a great weekend!!!!!!
Wednesday, September 21, 2005
Color Wars.... Gay style
Unfortunately this post has been prompted by a rant that DOP received the other day stereotyping him as a ignorant white guy who's into leather. Now all the reports I have on DOP are quite the contrary (1. I've been around long enough to know through 1 or 2 degrees a good portion of the mo's in D.C. 2. I'm not sure about the leather but whatev's, different strokes for different folks)
Anyways, as I've lived and socialized in D.C. for most of my adult life I've come to realize that there are some pretty well drawn lines in the sand when it comes to gay men and race. The white guys stick to the white guys primarily, sometimes venturing into the Asian territory thereby earning the title rice queens or venturing into the African American territory and then termed as having jungle fever. I'm not sure if there's a term for white guys that solely seek out hispanic/latin men but I assume the term could be coined as latin fever. I find these terms unfortunate even if there are some individuals that fit those stereotypes. The same holds true for the opposite btw, black guys into white guys are called oreos, Asian guys into white guys are called twinkies (yellow on the outside white on the inside) etc.
I realize that these terms are not only restricting but actually comforting to some that are Asian, or Black, or Latino, because it gives them a mold from which to work with. Popular gay media portrays gay men as white, in shape, and then gives a variety of mannerisms/roles from which to choose. These models don't exist in large part for those that don't fit into this category so identifying with other gay men of one's background can offer comfort and stability.
I fit into none of these categories, I don't identify with the gay asian community to any great extent even though Chip would accuse me of acting like a (GAYSHA) from time to time, I guess growing up race wasn't a big part of my life.... it wasn't really until middle school that I realized I wasn't like all the other kids on the block. That's when my mom and sister and I were at the grocery (Mom's all types of german btw) and the checkout lady asked my mom when she'd adopted us and how cute we were.... my mom LOST HER SH*T and read that woman from here till sunday. And reminded again when one of my Asian friends in HS asked me when my real mother had died and my dad married a white woman. Ok I'm 6'3" have very german facial features and my hair is wavy.... if you think that this is all asian you aren't working on all cylinders people!!!!!
I find it a shame that the gay community, as ostracized as it has historically been, things are definitely improving god willing, has seen fit to create such definite lines to put everyone into snug little categories. I will freely admit I notice a black/white couple more often than I would notice a couple of the same race, I'm not absolving myself.... however it stinks that most gay people, as hard as it is, find just another thing to make life that much more difficult.
Anyways, as I've lived and socialized in D.C. for most of my adult life I've come to realize that there are some pretty well drawn lines in the sand when it comes to gay men and race. The white guys stick to the white guys primarily, sometimes venturing into the Asian territory thereby earning the title rice queens or venturing into the African American territory and then termed as having jungle fever. I'm not sure if there's a term for white guys that solely seek out hispanic/latin men but I assume the term could be coined as latin fever. I find these terms unfortunate even if there are some individuals that fit those stereotypes. The same holds true for the opposite btw, black guys into white guys are called oreos, Asian guys into white guys are called twinkies (yellow on the outside white on the inside) etc.
I realize that these terms are not only restricting but actually comforting to some that are Asian, or Black, or Latino, because it gives them a mold from which to work with. Popular gay media portrays gay men as white, in shape, and then gives a variety of mannerisms/roles from which to choose. These models don't exist in large part for those that don't fit into this category so identifying with other gay men of one's background can offer comfort and stability.
I fit into none of these categories, I don't identify with the gay asian community to any great extent even though Chip would accuse me of acting like a (GAYSHA) from time to time, I guess growing up race wasn't a big part of my life.... it wasn't really until middle school that I realized I wasn't like all the other kids on the block. That's when my mom and sister and I were at the grocery (Mom's all types of german btw) and the checkout lady asked my mom when she'd adopted us and how cute we were.... my mom LOST HER SH*T and read that woman from here till sunday. And reminded again when one of my Asian friends in HS asked me when my real mother had died and my dad married a white woman. Ok I'm 6'3" have very german facial features and my hair is wavy.... if you think that this is all asian you aren't working on all cylinders people!!!!!
I find it a shame that the gay community, as ostracized as it has historically been, things are definitely improving god willing, has seen fit to create such definite lines to put everyone into snug little categories. I will freely admit I notice a black/white couple more often than I would notice a couple of the same race, I'm not absolving myself.... however it stinks that most gay people, as hard as it is, find just another thing to make life that much more difficult.
Tuesday, September 20, 2005
As if I'm not already wound tightly enough....
So... I'm taking a break last night from the wonder that is the GRE's... according to whom I'm dumber than crack addicted, epileptic, orangutang that is blind in one eye.... and watching a little motorcycle building show with my straight roomates and the commercial for Ready.Gov comes on to remind D.C. residents to have a plan in case of a terrorist attack. As if I don't have enough to worry about between men, and clothes..... and men. Oh BTW I LOVE how the plan for seniors is "make a plan to tell someone," and "remember to label your wheelchair/walker", which roughly translates into the government trying to placate the oldies while realizing that there's no way they're getting out.
However I was thinking about what would happen to me specifically if say on a random evening or during a day when I was "sick" from work, and I happened to be home what would happen. So say that a terrorist attacked the capitol building.... I live 2 blocks from the capitol building... would I be screwed like the prom queen??? you bet your bloomers! I mean what is the use of 3 cans of chili, 2 bottles of dehydrated lactase free milke, 4 gallons of Fiji water, and a flashlight going to be then?? Things that are not listed that should be are:
1) $500 in cash.... you think credit cards are gonna help when you're vying for the last snickers bar in an abandoned metro tunnel?? no sir!
2) extra underwear...self explanatory, besides the chances of peeing yourself during a terrorist attack are going to go up.
3) Deoderant: I am not trying to smell like nastiness if and when I have to flee
4)Bottle of cologne, because other people won't remember deoderant and I don't share.
5) Condoms/Lubricant, just in case you have a "we only have 5 minutes to live" moment and want a safety net in case 5 minutes turns into "false alarm"
6)Power bars... yummy AND portable
So thank you Federal Government for adequately freaking me out to the point where I now have a bag packed complete with sassy outfit, backup sunglasses, and a copy of vanity fair.... so if there is a terrorist attack and you see a queen trotting (I don't run in public, it's undignified) away with a fabulous outfit and a sassy bag..... you'll know who it is...
P.S. I was totally one of those people during the sniper attacks while living in the District, that followed the governments advice and never walked in a straight line and stopped frequently to stand by big statues... so for a good couple of months I looked perpetually paranoid/drunk/incredibly non-coordinated.... oh wait........
However I was thinking about what would happen to me specifically if say on a random evening or during a day when I was "sick" from work, and I happened to be home what would happen. So say that a terrorist attacked the capitol building.... I live 2 blocks from the capitol building... would I be screwed like the prom queen??? you bet your bloomers! I mean what is the use of 3 cans of chili, 2 bottles of dehydrated lactase free milke, 4 gallons of Fiji water, and a flashlight going to be then?? Things that are not listed that should be are:
1) $500 in cash.... you think credit cards are gonna help when you're vying for the last snickers bar in an abandoned metro tunnel?? no sir!
2) extra underwear...self explanatory, besides the chances of peeing yourself during a terrorist attack are going to go up.
3) Deoderant: I am not trying to smell like nastiness if and when I have to flee
4)Bottle of cologne, because other people won't remember deoderant and I don't share.
5) Condoms/Lubricant, just in case you have a "we only have 5 minutes to live" moment and want a safety net in case 5 minutes turns into "false alarm"
6)Power bars... yummy AND portable
So thank you Federal Government for adequately freaking me out to the point where I now have a bag packed complete with sassy outfit, backup sunglasses, and a copy of vanity fair.... so if there is a terrorist attack and you see a queen trotting (I don't run in public, it's undignified) away with a fabulous outfit and a sassy bag..... you'll know who it is...
P.S. I was totally one of those people during the sniper attacks while living in the District, that followed the governments advice and never walked in a straight line and stopped frequently to stand by big statues... so for a good couple of months I looked perpetually paranoid/drunk/incredibly non-coordinated.... oh wait........
Now You Tell Me...
A few months ago, I celebrated my birthday by throwing a party at my parents' house outside of Philly. I was very lucky to have most of my friends from D.C. to New York, and everywhere in between, attend. I had made arrangements with one of my friends, we'll call Lindsay, to get a ride back to D.C. (Dale was already driving back four other people).
The morning after the party, I woke up very early to take care of my parents' dog (they were out of town) and begin the arduous task of cleaning up. To my surprise, Lindsay was already awake, already cleaning, and already anxious to go. The time was roughly 9:00 AM. Most of the other guests were still sleeping. Obviously, I could not leave before everyone else, nor would I be rude and rush them out the door. Afterall, Dale and his carful were the largest group that spent the night. So I placated Lindsay and delayed as much as I could, but finally I had to tell her to go without me. I'd ride back with Dale.
I was pretty angry with her (as in, I said to myself "Ew, what a bitch!" and then forgot about it), but I passed out during the ride back in Dale's car quite comfortably for nearly the entire trip. Fortunately for me, the three passengers exceeding 6 feet, all sat in the front of Dale's LeSabre. Why this seating arrangement was decided on is beyond me, but it allowed me for much-needed leg room, so I'm not complaining.
This past week, Wash U hosted a 'young alumni' happy hour in Adams Morgan, and I was eager to see Lindsay. We'd spoken a few times since the party, and made plans to hang out, but they always fell through for one reason or another; I hadn't seen her since the fiesta.
While we're enjoying our beers, she looks at me and says, "I guess I can tell you this now..."
I say nothing, but look at her with a blank stare of anticipation.
Lindsay: "I fucked Jordan at your party."
*Thud, my jaw hits the floor.
Chip: "Are you serious, you what? Where?"
Lindsay: "In your basement; we were the only ones down there. That's why I wanted to leave so early the next day, because I was SO drunk when it happened."
Chip: "That's unbelievalbe! Did you spill any seed in my basement?!?!?!"
Lindsay: "No, we grabbed a condom from the pinata." (One of my friends got me a penis-shaped pinata full of condoms, lube, etc.) "We started on the couch but ended up on the floor. When he finished, he said 'That was great.' I responded with 'That was okay' and promptly rolled over and passed out."
In the words of the great Jay-Z, "ladies is pimps too." Here's to you, Lindsay!
The morning after the party, I woke up very early to take care of my parents' dog (they were out of town) and begin the arduous task of cleaning up. To my surprise, Lindsay was already awake, already cleaning, and already anxious to go. The time was roughly 9:00 AM. Most of the other guests were still sleeping. Obviously, I could not leave before everyone else, nor would I be rude and rush them out the door. Afterall, Dale and his carful were the largest group that spent the night. So I placated Lindsay and delayed as much as I could, but finally I had to tell her to go without me. I'd ride back with Dale.
I was pretty angry with her (as in, I said to myself "Ew, what a bitch!" and then forgot about it), but I passed out during the ride back in Dale's car quite comfortably for nearly the entire trip. Fortunately for me, the three passengers exceeding 6 feet, all sat in the front of Dale's LeSabre. Why this seating arrangement was decided on is beyond me, but it allowed me for much-needed leg room, so I'm not complaining.
This past week, Wash U hosted a 'young alumni' happy hour in Adams Morgan, and I was eager to see Lindsay. We'd spoken a few times since the party, and made plans to hang out, but they always fell through for one reason or another; I hadn't seen her since the fiesta.
While we're enjoying our beers, she looks at me and says, "I guess I can tell you this now..."
I say nothing, but look at her with a blank stare of anticipation.
Lindsay: "I fucked Jordan at your party."
*Thud, my jaw hits the floor.
Chip: "Are you serious, you what? Where?"
Lindsay: "In your basement; we were the only ones down there. That's why I wanted to leave so early the next day, because I was SO drunk when it happened."
Chip: "That's unbelievalbe! Did you spill any seed in my basement?!?!?!"
Lindsay: "No, we grabbed a condom from the pinata." (One of my friends got me a penis-shaped pinata full of condoms, lube, etc.) "We started on the couch but ended up on the floor. When he finished, he said 'That was great.' I responded with 'That was okay' and promptly rolled over and passed out."
In the words of the great Jay-Z, "ladies is pimps too." Here's to you, Lindsay!
Monday, September 19, 2005
Oh Jay...
Taken from Sunday's NYT, Jay Leno on the Judge Roberts confirmation hearings:
"Chief Justice nominee John G. Roberts said in his opening statement at the confirmation hearings that he has no agenda and no platform. You know what that means? He could be the next Democratic candidate for president."
"Chief Justice nominee John G. Roberts said in his opening statement at the confirmation hearings that he has no agenda and no platform. You know what that means? He could be the next Democratic candidate for president."
Weekend Roundup.... or the path of excess leads to the porcelain temple.
Well the weekend started off to a fantastic start. Chip came out to the sticks where we proceeded to dominate 50 chicken wings, 2 orders of fries and copious amounts of alcohol in my case... I danced with a 40 and a 1.75 litre bottle of yellowtail chardonnay and I won... I won big! Even though at one point in the evening I fell off the couch with my dog much to the amusement of Chip. We rented "Beauty Shop" and "The Sweetest Thing" and I enjoy Ms. Latifah in pretty much every movie that she's been in and Beauty Shop is no different, favorite quote from the movie....
Gina: This is how much money we need
Vanessa: How much? 30 G? 40 G?
(Gina hands Vanessa the paper)
Vanessa: OH Sh*t, I'm sorry lord, but we gonna need jesus!
Saturday I TRIED to be productive and go to the gym, that didn't work, went to the store and ran errands for the rents who I was picking up at the airport later, made sure the dog was taken care of and off to National I went. Picked up the rent's and high tailed it back to my digs so I could glam up in preparation for the gayest event in life, the Results fashion show. Went over to Dudley's and proceeded to pregame (unfortunately for me a bit too successfully) and then went to the fashion show. About what I expected, straight models, drunken gay men drooling over straight models, and an open bar (YIKES) I don't really recall how many cocktails I had out of the glowing martini glasses but at some point before we were supposed to go to the opening night of the new Halo location, I realized that I couldn't stand straight up for an extended period of time and that it may be a better idea for me to go home.... so with that I bid adieu to Dudley and cabbed to Cap. Hill, where I proceeded to pray at the porcelain temple for the remainder of the evening.
Sunday was spent recovering, going to the Teets with Chip while wearing a sweatsuit and getting weird stares (it WAS in the 80's) doing a little housework, going and meeting a v. nice gentleman for coffee and then out to Lauriol Plaza for din's with Chip and T and L and other fun people. Chip got dominated by a half pitcher of margaritas and I got dominated by the amount of food I ordered as I hadn't really had anything to eat in 48 hours.
Looking forward to a GRE filled week, maybe I can schedule a date or 3 in there somewhere.... :)
Gina: This is how much money we need
Vanessa: How much? 30 G? 40 G?
(Gina hands Vanessa the paper)
Vanessa: OH Sh*t, I'm sorry lord, but we gonna need jesus!
Saturday I TRIED to be productive and go to the gym, that didn't work, went to the store and ran errands for the rents who I was picking up at the airport later, made sure the dog was taken care of and off to National I went. Picked up the rent's and high tailed it back to my digs so I could glam up in preparation for the gayest event in life, the Results fashion show. Went over to Dudley's and proceeded to pregame (unfortunately for me a bit too successfully) and then went to the fashion show. About what I expected, straight models, drunken gay men drooling over straight models, and an open bar (YIKES) I don't really recall how many cocktails I had out of the glowing martini glasses but at some point before we were supposed to go to the opening night of the new Halo location, I realized that I couldn't stand straight up for an extended period of time and that it may be a better idea for me to go home.... so with that I bid adieu to Dudley and cabbed to Cap. Hill, where I proceeded to pray at the porcelain temple for the remainder of the evening.
Sunday was spent recovering, going to the Teets with Chip while wearing a sweatsuit and getting weird stares (it WAS in the 80's) doing a little housework, going and meeting a v. nice gentleman for coffee and then out to Lauriol Plaza for din's with Chip and T and L and other fun people. Chip got dominated by a half pitcher of margaritas and I got dominated by the amount of food I ordered as I hadn't really had anything to eat in 48 hours.
Looking forward to a GRE filled week, maybe I can schedule a date or 3 in there somewhere.... :)
Saturday, September 17, 2005
What Kind of Mixed Drink Are You?
Woohoo! Dale would most certainly agree.
| You Are a Mai Tai |
 You aren't a big drinker, but you'll drink if the atmosphere is festive. And when you're drunk, watch out! You're easily carried away. |
Friday, September 16, 2005
It's that time again............ Friday 5
It's that time again..... FRIDAY FIVE!!!!!
1). I showed up all types of rough to my stylist this morning (she comes in early so I can get my hair did before I go to work), and the receptionist is a guy about my age, tall, really cute, and I assumed heterosexual... the first thought that came to my head when I rolled in with my rats nest, oversized sunglasses and a venti latte was "oh that's so sad that the straight boy has to work the desk, he may as well leave his balls at the door" But on the way out after I was adequately coiffed, facialed, and my eyebrows were tended to, and was scheduling my next appt, he pulled the "do I know you from somewhere?" routine, which shouldn't raise any eyebrows, he asked if I went to GW? I said no but I was there alot 3 years ago when my bf at the time was going there... He went to high school locally (private school) so I played the name game with friends and he knew some of the people I knew but I don't ever remember meeting him.... I WOULD remember him, DC is bereft of guys taller than me and hot! BUT then he asked me if I used to play soccer? I said no and that I did gymnastics, diving and sometimes swimming, to which he replied "cool." I didn't know if I should give him my number since he can look it up in their computer also.... I'm still not 100% sure he was hitting on me... I think today's a short bus kind of day.
2). I really need to start a finishing school for Gay men. Classes will include etiquette, flirting, wardrobe, and conversation as well as appropriate music selection for various occasions and how to throw a fabulous party(I might need help on the last one as I attend, but rarely host), and definitely we will review improper pick up lines, and behavior for "the morning after" and the "stride of pride/ walk of shame" depending on how good your night was, one of the two will apply.
3). Wingstop Extravaganza + movie night with Senor Chip tonight, were gonna be two beached whales all types of ways
4). Week of Suburbia Slump has finally come to an end, as of tomorrow I'll be back at the DC residence and chomping at the bit for a little mischief and mayhem.... I think Pregaming with Dudley and then going with him to the Results Fashion show will take care of that.... god I hope I don't decide pole dancing is a good idea.....again....
5). Gotta get cracking on some Grad School loving.... we'll see if any of that comes to fruition, my master plan of marrying well is still in full effect, I can totally live in a loveless marriage, with a rock on my finger the size of a dinner roll!
1). I showed up all types of rough to my stylist this morning (she comes in early so I can get my hair did before I go to work), and the receptionist is a guy about my age, tall, really cute, and I assumed heterosexual... the first thought that came to my head when I rolled in with my rats nest, oversized sunglasses and a venti latte was "oh that's so sad that the straight boy has to work the desk, he may as well leave his balls at the door" But on the way out after I was adequately coiffed, facialed, and my eyebrows were tended to, and was scheduling my next appt, he pulled the "do I know you from somewhere?" routine, which shouldn't raise any eyebrows, he asked if I went to GW? I said no but I was there alot 3 years ago when my bf at the time was going there... He went to high school locally (private school) so I played the name game with friends and he knew some of the people I knew but I don't ever remember meeting him.... I WOULD remember him, DC is bereft of guys taller than me and hot! BUT then he asked me if I used to play soccer? I said no and that I did gymnastics, diving and sometimes swimming, to which he replied "cool." I didn't know if I should give him my number since he can look it up in their computer also.... I'm still not 100% sure he was hitting on me... I think today's a short bus kind of day.
2). I really need to start a finishing school for Gay men. Classes will include etiquette, flirting, wardrobe, and conversation as well as appropriate music selection for various occasions and how to throw a fabulous party(I might need help on the last one as I attend, but rarely host), and definitely we will review improper pick up lines, and behavior for "the morning after" and the "stride of pride/ walk of shame" depending on how good your night was, one of the two will apply.
3). Wingstop Extravaganza + movie night with Senor Chip tonight, were gonna be two beached whales all types of ways
4). Week of Suburbia Slump has finally come to an end, as of tomorrow I'll be back at the DC residence and chomping at the bit for a little mischief and mayhem.... I think Pregaming with Dudley and then going with him to the Results Fashion show will take care of that.... god I hope I don't decide pole dancing is a good idea.....again....
5). Gotta get cracking on some Grad School loving.... we'll see if any of that comes to fruition, my master plan of marrying well is still in full effect, I can totally live in a loveless marriage, with a rock on my finger the size of a dinner roll!
Thursday, September 15, 2005
annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd HAIKU!
So because I'm feeling "deep" this morning I've decided to emote using the time honored tradition of Haiku.....
1) Ricky Martin appearring on 99.5 this morning:
Sad Sad Latin Star
Come out of the closet now
you fool no one, dude.
Gay bon bon shaker
You've got a very rich dad
Why try comeback now?
2). Ending my week of suburbia with perhaps the GAYEST event of life thanks to Dudley
Results Fashion Show
Could it GET any gayer??
I hope there's cheap booze.
Muscle queens galore
Steroid Central at results
Balls small like raisins...
3) and finally stressing out about Grad school in general....
GRE you suck
You're like SAT on crack
I beat you like ho
Grad School is my goal
Rich Husband could distract me
diamonds my new goal......
Hope HH was fun, thankfully I'll be back in the land of the living and will be able to participate hopefully in the next one.
1) Ricky Martin appearring on 99.5 this morning:
Sad Sad Latin Star
Come out of the closet now
you fool no one, dude.
Gay bon bon shaker
You've got a very rich dad
Why try comeback now?
2). Ending my week of suburbia with perhaps the GAYEST event of life thanks to Dudley
Results Fashion Show
Could it GET any gayer??
I hope there's cheap booze.
Muscle queens galore
Steroid Central at results
Balls small like raisins...
3) and finally stressing out about Grad school in general....
GRE you suck
You're like SAT on crack
I beat you like ho
Grad School is my goal
Rich Husband could distract me
diamonds my new goal......
Hope HH was fun, thankfully I'll be back in the land of the living and will be able to participate hopefully in the next one.
Wednesday, September 14, 2005
A la Sante!
It's with great regret that I won't be able to go to Blogger HH
In honor of this event I'd like to list my favorite Cheers...
1). Here's to staying single, seeing double, and sleeping triple!
2). (Straight boys taught me this).... Here's to honor...getting on her...staying on her... and c*ming on her.
3).(College Roomie "BB" taught me this one)..... Holla if you Swalla!!!
4). Here's to the nights we'll never remember and the friends we'll never forget!
5). as long as we are able, To lift our glasses from the table
6). Here's to you, here's to me, best of friends we'll always be, but should we ever disagree, F*&k you and cheers to me!
instead I'll be making dinner for my grandfather and great aunt, putting in the QT with the fam is key. Plus I'm always up for some sushi dinner.... besides according to my grandparents, if I don't eat seaweed on a regular basis my hair will go blonde and if I don't eat rice everyday my eyes will go round..... think about it, I've been in danger of waking up and being a walking polo ad all this time and I had noooo idea? ;) Hope to see everyone out and about at some point.
In honor of this event I'd like to list my favorite Cheers...
1). Here's to staying single, seeing double, and sleeping triple!
2). (Straight boys taught me this).... Here's to honor...getting on her...staying on her... and c*ming on her.
3).(College Roomie "BB" taught me this one)..... Holla if you Swalla!!!
4). Here's to the nights we'll never remember and the friends we'll never forget!
5). as long as we are able, To lift our glasses from the table
6). Here's to you, here's to me, best of friends we'll always be, but should we ever disagree, F*&k you and cheers to me!
instead I'll be making dinner for my grandfather and great aunt, putting in the QT with the fam is key. Plus I'm always up for some sushi dinner.... besides according to my grandparents, if I don't eat seaweed on a regular basis my hair will go blonde and if I don't eat rice everyday my eyes will go round..... think about it, I've been in danger of waking up and being a walking polo ad all this time and I had noooo idea? ;) Hope to see everyone out and about at some point.
Monday, September 12, 2005
Just Like College
So.... remember in college when you used to do ANYTHING besides what you were actually supposed to be doing??? Right well here I am instead of reviewing 400 pages of AIDS research that I have to know by tomorrow in order to not look like a complete idiot tomorrow when I have to go to a meeting with my company..... looks like somebody is going to have a "Hot Sundae" moment a la Saved by the Bell fame where Jesse becomes addicted to caffeine pills.... and don't act like you people don't know EXACTLY what I'm talking about. So a couple things tonight that made me happy
1). Realizing I love me some Emma Thompson for the following reasons: "Angels in America," "Wit," "Love Actually,""Sense and Sensibility," and "Much ado about nothing" several movies of which I watched after work while "reviewing" my material.
2). LOGO again, leave it to the gay network to bring me the harrowing story of a man trying to open up a bar, and becoming drunk in the process and making an ass out of himself... it doesn't hurt that the man in question could crack walnuts with his pecs and choke a bear with his thighs....
3). throwing the ball for the dog.... such an underrated activity
4). Wingstop...if you don't know you're missing out
5). Figuring out that the conference call you'll be on tomorrow will be all in English so I don't have to freak out about knowing vocabulary in french like "Ejaculatory fluids" and "Highly Active Antiretroviral Therapy"..... which I've looked up anyways cuz I'm a dweeb like that.
Well hopefully at somepoint tonight I'll get some sleep, if not then I'm dipping back into the old days where I'd stay out all night and then bust out the preparation H, dab a little under the eyes, get myself a latte and a marlboro light and be the EF on my way, fingers crossed people..
1). Realizing I love me some Emma Thompson for the following reasons: "Angels in America," "Wit," "Love Actually,""Sense and Sensibility," and "Much ado about nothing" several movies of which I watched after work while "reviewing" my material.
2). LOGO again, leave it to the gay network to bring me the harrowing story of a man trying to open up a bar, and becoming drunk in the process and making an ass out of himself... it doesn't hurt that the man in question could crack walnuts with his pecs and choke a bear with his thighs....
3). throwing the ball for the dog.... such an underrated activity
4). Wingstop...if you don't know you're missing out
5). Figuring out that the conference call you'll be on tomorrow will be all in English so I don't have to freak out about knowing vocabulary in french like "Ejaculatory fluids" and "Highly Active Antiretroviral Therapy"..... which I've looked up anyways cuz I'm a dweeb like that.
Well hopefully at somepoint tonight I'll get some sleep, if not then I'm dipping back into the old days where I'd stay out all night and then bust out the preparation H, dab a little under the eyes, get myself a latte and a marlboro light and be the EF on my way, fingers crossed people..
Gay Happy Hour
As opposed to an organized gay happy hour I've decided that I am not really good at organizing such things, I'm good at showing up, good at drinking, but am not all about having the pressure of hosting/being responsible for such an event *Read* I like the option of ducking out because I will inadvertently make seven jillion plans for the space of two hours. That being said I'll try to make these plans as they come, also if anyone else has input if they'd want to participate and when that'd be great..... Besides gay happy hour should never consist of just ONE bar.....
Even the football team couldn't turn me straight....
This past weekend was a cornucopia of sitting, glasses of Yellow tail (cheap AND delicious) and playing with the doggy (chloe) and taking care of some family business.... all the while having LOGO the new gay channel that my parents get but which I don't at my house blaring.... Real World marathon of the gayest episodes? YES PLEASE!!!, P.S. Pedro Zamora could have done SO much better than the guy he exchanged rings with... just saying...
ANYWAYS during the course of the weekend I got a random email on myspace.com from a guy that I went to College with....straight football jock type..... whom I convinced along with one of his teammates and my friend... to take a hip hop dance class with me and then have a dance recital at the end of the class. the message read "(college nickname), dance off...meet me on the street corner...bring it" I laughed till I peed, then I laughed at that. Therefore, this brought back memories of good old college days, when for four years all my friends that were guys were big meathead/jocks/football types and then there was me in my pink popped polo and ribbon belt jeans combo sitting by the sidelines with a marlboro light and the most recent copy of Vanity Fair waving at the guys on the field my tiffanys jewelery glinting for the world to see.
For most of these guys, I was the first Gay person they ever met. I attribute them liking me for the sole reason that I made it perfectly clear that they weren't up to my standards and I would not be trying to get into any of their pants, also..... I could hold my own at the beirut table, funnel a beer like WHOAH, and go shot for shot with the biggest guy on the football team (Whom as I recall I took to the health center and rubbed his back all night because he decided to dance with a friend I like to call everclear)... also I think they were expecting someone to be mousey and quiet and frail and well...yes I'm just about as gay as christmas and I make absolutely no apologies for that, nor was I going to be uncomfortable if somebody made a gay joke/dropped the F bomb (although if someone did drop the F bomb I'd yell at them for a hot second and let it go).
In any event the next four years were full of me showing up to parties with these guys, drinking till I wanted to boot, booting, and then having one of them throw me a beer. Greatest College moments were when I'd get super duber black out drunk and one of them would throw me over their shoulder and take me to bed....freaking awesome... Also, if I WAS dating anyone and they showed up at a party where I was with my straight harem as I came to call them, and the guy wasn't up to snuff in their opinion.... sad times for him....so very very sad times...
Anyways, now were unfortunately scattered across the country doing different things, and I wish I could see them more often, but cheers to them wherever they are and as hard as they tried and as straight as they are.... yup I'm still gayer than ever... although now I know how to get my car out of a snowbank and understand the importance of the BoSox and the Pats (I went to school in Maine so sue me)
Oh yeah funniest exchange of the weekend from my parents as they're leaving for holiday
Mom: honey what do you want us to bring you from Canada?
Me: ummmmmm a mountie?
Mom: I don't know if I can fit one in my bag......
ANYWAYS during the course of the weekend I got a random email on myspace.com from a guy that I went to College with....straight football jock type..... whom I convinced along with one of his teammates and my friend... to take a hip hop dance class with me and then have a dance recital at the end of the class. the message read "(college nickname), dance off...meet me on the street corner...bring it" I laughed till I peed, then I laughed at that. Therefore, this brought back memories of good old college days, when for four years all my friends that were guys were big meathead/jocks/football types and then there was me in my pink popped polo and ribbon belt jeans combo sitting by the sidelines with a marlboro light and the most recent copy of Vanity Fair waving at the guys on the field my tiffanys jewelery glinting for the world to see.
For most of these guys, I was the first Gay person they ever met. I attribute them liking me for the sole reason that I made it perfectly clear that they weren't up to my standards and I would not be trying to get into any of their pants, also..... I could hold my own at the beirut table, funnel a beer like WHOAH, and go shot for shot with the biggest guy on the football team (Whom as I recall I took to the health center and rubbed his back all night because he decided to dance with a friend I like to call everclear)... also I think they were expecting someone to be mousey and quiet and frail and well...yes I'm just about as gay as christmas and I make absolutely no apologies for that, nor was I going to be uncomfortable if somebody made a gay joke/dropped the F bomb (although if someone did drop the F bomb I'd yell at them for a hot second and let it go).
In any event the next four years were full of me showing up to parties with these guys, drinking till I wanted to boot, booting, and then having one of them throw me a beer. Greatest College moments were when I'd get super duber black out drunk and one of them would throw me over their shoulder and take me to bed....freaking awesome... Also, if I WAS dating anyone and they showed up at a party where I was with my straight harem as I came to call them, and the guy wasn't up to snuff in their opinion.... sad times for him....so very very sad times...
Anyways, now were unfortunately scattered across the country doing different things, and I wish I could see them more often, but cheers to them wherever they are and as hard as they tried and as straight as they are.... yup I'm still gayer than ever... although now I know how to get my car out of a snowbank and understand the importance of the BoSox and the Pats (I went to school in Maine so sue me)
Oh yeah funniest exchange of the weekend from my parents as they're leaving for holiday
Mom: honey what do you want us to bring you from Canada?
Me: ummmmmm a mountie?
Mom: I don't know if I can fit one in my bag......
Friday, September 09, 2005
Friday Five
It's Friday, and time for Five random thoughts/musings that are running through my head.....
1). I'm uber super duper proud of my mom who's volunteered to be one of several physicians in the D.C. area who are willing to take care of refugees that have come to our fair haven free of charge. This is going to mean thousands of dollars of medicines and supplies that she and her practice will be donating. She's the bestest!!! and she was named as "a local doctor" by WaPo at her request so it doesn't look like a PR move, so snaps to mommy!!
2). I had a dream last night that I was being shot at after having had coffee with Kelly Osbourne. Now I don't ever watch "the Osbournes" nor do I really like any of Kelly's music, I'm sorry left field what? Oh and the person who was shooting at me turned out to be Chip, he missed don't worry and in my dream he was trying to mug me and ended up dying later on due to exposure.... weird huh.
3). The Gay Rodeo is in town, and it's taking place about 15 minutes from my parents' house where I am house sitting for a week. Some phrases that I'm sure will be overused include: "Ride em cowboy!!", " wow you're really good at hog tieing", "That horse aint got nothing on you" and so on and so forth. The jury is still out at this point as to whether or not I'll take my doggy to the fairgrounds to check it out, however I'm leaning towards no because the most rugged thing in my wardrobe is my maroon polo shirt and retro ski vest from FCUK, and that combined with a blonde cocker spaniel/poodle named Chloe who only has Lily Pulitzer leashes and collars, yeah I'm gonna go ahead and say sore thumb, stick out much?
4). I just realized that this weekend will mark the first weekend since July where Chip and I are not road-tripping it to a destination that is not the District of Corruption! A little sad yes but I honestly need the rest which is why my plans for this weekend include:-Dinner with crazy grandpa and great aunt crazy (sushi dinner and asking about when I'm going to get married....fun) p.s. I tried to explain the gay thing to them and I don't think they understand, maybe it's an asian thing.-Spa and gym goodness saturday.... followed by lounging and blockbuster loving for the following week!!!!
5). A hearty guffaw to my godmother and godcousin who, while shopping for jewelery with my mom last weekend pulled over on wisconsin ave. after having brunch at the club so my godcousin who's in her late 20's and has a child, could throw up from having a massive hangover that she tried to nurse with mimosas and bloody mary's........ needless to stay she stayed in the car while mom and god-mom went and tried on the sparklies......
Also... Since Chip decided to snark me on IM's this morning, here's a pearl from my favorite sugar snap....
Chip:I read this on a blog and thought of you (This is the Blog)
Chip: Do remind me to start a 'Help Feed the Starving MW Nightlife Coverboy of the Week' fundraising drive. Damn, you boys go eat a sandwich or two!
Yay Weekend.... Yay House-sitting.... Yay going for runs with Chloe..... Yay/Boo for being socially M.I.A. for a week..... but momma needs the rest.... I've got a set of Louis Vuitton under my eyes like you wouldn't believe.
1). I'm uber super duper proud of my mom who's volunteered to be one of several physicians in the D.C. area who are willing to take care of refugees that have come to our fair haven free of charge. This is going to mean thousands of dollars of medicines and supplies that she and her practice will be donating. She's the bestest!!! and she was named as "a local doctor" by WaPo at her request so it doesn't look like a PR move, so snaps to mommy!!
2). I had a dream last night that I was being shot at after having had coffee with Kelly Osbourne. Now I don't ever watch "the Osbournes" nor do I really like any of Kelly's music, I'm sorry left field what? Oh and the person who was shooting at me turned out to be Chip, he missed don't worry and in my dream he was trying to mug me and ended up dying later on due to exposure.... weird huh.
3). The Gay Rodeo is in town, and it's taking place about 15 minutes from my parents' house where I am house sitting for a week. Some phrases that I'm sure will be overused include: "Ride em cowboy!!", " wow you're really good at hog tieing", "That horse aint got nothing on you" and so on and so forth. The jury is still out at this point as to whether or not I'll take my doggy to the fairgrounds to check it out, however I'm leaning towards no because the most rugged thing in my wardrobe is my maroon polo shirt and retro ski vest from FCUK, and that combined with a blonde cocker spaniel/poodle named Chloe who only has Lily Pulitzer leashes and collars, yeah I'm gonna go ahead and say sore thumb, stick out much?
4). I just realized that this weekend will mark the first weekend since July where Chip and I are not road-tripping it to a destination that is not the District of Corruption! A little sad yes but I honestly need the rest which is why my plans for this weekend include:-Dinner with crazy grandpa and great aunt crazy (sushi dinner and asking about when I'm going to get married....fun) p.s. I tried to explain the gay thing to them and I don't think they understand, maybe it's an asian thing.-Spa and gym goodness saturday.... followed by lounging and blockbuster loving for the following week!!!!
5). A hearty guffaw to my godmother and godcousin who, while shopping for jewelery with my mom last weekend pulled over on wisconsin ave. after having brunch at the club so my godcousin who's in her late 20's and has a child, could throw up from having a massive hangover that she tried to nurse with mimosas and bloody mary's........ needless to stay she stayed in the car while mom and god-mom went and tried on the sparklies......
Also... Since Chip decided to snark me on IM's this morning, here's a pearl from my favorite sugar snap....
Chip:I read this on a blog and thought of you (This is the Blog)
Chip: Do remind me to start a 'Help Feed the Starving MW Nightlife Coverboy of the Week' fundraising drive. Damn, you boys go eat a sandwich or two!
Yay Weekend.... Yay House-sitting.... Yay going for runs with Chloe..... Yay/Boo for being socially M.I.A. for a week..... but momma needs the rest.... I've got a set of Louis Vuitton under my eyes like you wouldn't believe.
Allow Me One Indulgence
There are enough blogs that spout off on politics, and I do not want to add this blog to that mix, but I just read something particularly interesting and wanted to share. It's from today's New York Times :
"Nine days after the United States was attacked on Sept. 11, 2001, President Bush stood before a joint session of Congress and rallied the nation to a new mission. On Thursday, nine days after it became apparent that New Orleans and much of the Gulf Coast had been devastated by Hurricane Katrina, Mr. Bush stood in an auditorium across the street from the White House and directed storm victims to a Web site and a toll-free telephone number."
"Nine days after the United States was attacked on Sept. 11, 2001, President Bush stood before a joint session of Congress and rallied the nation to a new mission. On Thursday, nine days after it became apparent that New Orleans and much of the Gulf Coast had been devastated by Hurricane Katrina, Mr. Bush stood in an auditorium across the street from the White House and directed storm victims to a Web site and a toll-free telephone number."
Random Kibbles & Bits
Collection of some gym-related observations and thoughts:
A few days ago, while in the locker room at my gym, the large man next to me turned to me in his underwear and asked, "Did you used to live in the Brandywine?" (The Brandywine is a rando apartment bldg in Van Ness on CT. I moved out in June) "Yes..." I responded. The man the informed me that he recognized me from the building's fitness room (which is about the size of a closet on any episode of Cribs), but that he moved out of the building over 6 months ago.
This encounter was slightly uncomfortable. First, I'm generally not friendly to people I don't know. It's a combination of the fact that I'm 1) not always friendly in general and 2) shy / hesitant around people I don't know well or feel comfortable with. Second, this large man was standing in his underwear, standing over me like the eye in LOTR. I'm sorry, but I am not Frodo (despite Dale's tendency to call me a gnome when he's had one too many of my bitch pills). I was very polite, without being inviting, and the conversation ended almost as quickly as it began. Third, this gym is downtown (as opposed to the uber cruisy gyms in Dupont), and while I don't think this guy was trying to pick me up, are random conversations in the locker room not a little unsettling to anyone else? Whenever I'm in the locker room, I feel as though most guys are trying to get in and get out as quickly and efficiently as possible. Such an atmosphere does not encourage small talk. Neither does the fact that many guys feel very uncomfortable or possibly vulnerable standing around a bunch of other half / completely naked men.
Another gym-related issue. There's this guy, who upon entering the gym, goes immediately to the elliptical machines. Keep in mind, he's in his work clothes. He opens his gym bag, places roughly 7 or so towels on the machine as well as a CD, and then heads to the locker room. Sidebar, you should see him on the elliptical, talk about intense! While I do not feel guilty about warming up on the treadmill, leaving my stuff at the machine, going to stretch, and then immediately come back, I feel as though calling "dibs" on a piece of equipment before you're ready to use it is a bit much. Granted, this guy generally arrives at the gym before it gets too crowded, so he's not reserving the last available machine, but I simply don't understand this behavior.
On a final note, WSC has decided to open a 24-hour facility in the Washington area! I was notified of this decision a few weeks ago, and while I have no problems getting to the gym during regular hours, I was excited by the news nonetheless. This week, I discovered which gym was selected as the 24-hour location. Any guesses? If you said "Glover Park," you were right! I went over to Metro's web site to see how I could go about arriving at the Glover Park WSC (which is on Wisconsin, btw). Who wants to guess how many different buses I would have to take to get there from Dupont? 3! Despite it's lack of impact on my life, I'm really curious as to any theories readers may have regarding WSC's selection. I've got some half-baked ideas, but I will refrain from sharing for now.
P.S. This is how Dale greeted me this morning (over IM):
Dale: you were in my dream last night
Dale: you were trying to shoot me
Dale: but it's ok you ended up dying later on
A few days ago, while in the locker room at my gym, the large man next to me turned to me in his underwear and asked, "Did you used to live in the Brandywine?" (The Brandywine is a rando apartment bldg in Van Ness on CT. I moved out in June) "Yes..." I responded. The man the informed me that he recognized me from the building's fitness room (which is about the size of a closet on any episode of Cribs), but that he moved out of the building over 6 months ago.
This encounter was slightly uncomfortable. First, I'm generally not friendly to people I don't know. It's a combination of the fact that I'm 1) not always friendly in general and 2) shy / hesitant around people I don't know well or feel comfortable with. Second, this large man was standing in his underwear, standing over me like the eye in LOTR. I'm sorry, but I am not Frodo (despite Dale's tendency to call me a gnome when he's had one too many of my bitch pills). I was very polite, without being inviting, and the conversation ended almost as quickly as it began. Third, this gym is downtown (as opposed to the uber cruisy gyms in Dupont), and while I don't think this guy was trying to pick me up, are random conversations in the locker room not a little unsettling to anyone else? Whenever I'm in the locker room, I feel as though most guys are trying to get in and get out as quickly and efficiently as possible. Such an atmosphere does not encourage small talk. Neither does the fact that many guys feel very uncomfortable or possibly vulnerable standing around a bunch of other half / completely naked men.
Another gym-related issue. There's this guy, who upon entering the gym, goes immediately to the elliptical machines. Keep in mind, he's in his work clothes. He opens his gym bag, places roughly 7 or so towels on the machine as well as a CD, and then heads to the locker room. Sidebar, you should see him on the elliptical, talk about intense! While I do not feel guilty about warming up on the treadmill, leaving my stuff at the machine, going to stretch, and then immediately come back, I feel as though calling "dibs" on a piece of equipment before you're ready to use it is a bit much. Granted, this guy generally arrives at the gym before it gets too crowded, so he's not reserving the last available machine, but I simply don't understand this behavior.
On a final note, WSC has decided to open a 24-hour facility in the Washington area! I was notified of this decision a few weeks ago, and while I have no problems getting to the gym during regular hours, I was excited by the news nonetheless. This week, I discovered which gym was selected as the 24-hour location. Any guesses? If you said "Glover Park," you were right! I went over to Metro's web site to see how I could go about arriving at the Glover Park WSC (which is on Wisconsin, btw). Who wants to guess how many different buses I would have to take to get there from Dupont? 3! Despite it's lack of impact on my life, I'm really curious as to any theories readers may have regarding WSC's selection. I've got some half-baked ideas, but I will refrain from sharing for now.
P.S. This is how Dale greeted me this morning (over IM):
Dale: you were in my dream last night
Dale: you were trying to shoot me
Dale: but it's ok you ended up dying later on
Thursday, September 08, 2005
Autumnal Resolutions
Some people make New Years resolutions.... I don't. I have the attention span of a fruit fly on coke so I can never remember mine for more than a 3 month period. Therefore I make resoultions seasonally. What do YOU resolve to do this season???
1). Be more proactive and do more than just bat my eyes and smile at guys when I go out: Apparently I've been told by more than one person that when I'm out I'm "intimidating." This is atrributed to my height. I'm sorry but I've never thought of myself as particularly scary and when I smile at a guy and he looks like a deer caught in the headlights it's a little disheartening...therefore if the mountain won't come to mohammad (other than when I'm a bit intoxicated and dancing at cobalt and make out with random guys) mohammad will go to the mountain. *Plus chip is tired of me complaining that I don't meet guys cuz they don't come up to me...*
2). Go out more, now I know I go out a lot as it is, but I don't think I'm adequately capitalizing on the fact that I'm 23, have no ties (kids, pets, relationships) and judging from my dismal dating scale need to be exposed to more guys.
3). Go to the movies more.... I have been to one movie all summer and I believe I should see more.... I really wanted to see Willy Wonka but just never got around to it.
4). Gain 10 pounds.... I know I know I said it, but as Chip will attest, putting 10 pounds on my body is just edging it closer to normal.
5). Get my GRE's out of the way.... it's been a year, I really need to get motivated.
That's it for now....hmmm maybe I'll think of some more later....
1). Be more proactive and do more than just bat my eyes and smile at guys when I go out: Apparently I've been told by more than one person that when I'm out I'm "intimidating." This is atrributed to my height. I'm sorry but I've never thought of myself as particularly scary and when I smile at a guy and he looks like a deer caught in the headlights it's a little disheartening...therefore if the mountain won't come to mohammad (other than when I'm a bit intoxicated and dancing at cobalt and make out with random guys) mohammad will go to the mountain. *Plus chip is tired of me complaining that I don't meet guys cuz they don't come up to me...*
2). Go out more, now I know I go out a lot as it is, but I don't think I'm adequately capitalizing on the fact that I'm 23, have no ties (kids, pets, relationships) and judging from my dismal dating scale need to be exposed to more guys.
3). Go to the movies more.... I have been to one movie all summer and I believe I should see more.... I really wanted to see Willy Wonka but just never got around to it.
4). Gain 10 pounds.... I know I know I said it, but as Chip will attest, putting 10 pounds on my body is just edging it closer to normal.
5). Get my GRE's out of the way.... it's been a year, I really need to get motivated.
That's it for now....hmmm maybe I'll think of some more later....
Wednesday, September 07, 2005
Fashion 101, do's and don'ts
D.C. is a wonderful city, it is a beautiful city, full of smart, well-read, witty people. D.C. will never and should never be a fashion nexus, however D.C. shouldn't be the object of ridicule for its fashions. In an effort to curb some of the more heinous trends that I and other Mo's (Dudley and Chip) have witnessed, let me give a couple of pointers.....
1)Visors: Visors are only okay if you are a little old asian woman. Otherwise please refrain. If you need the protection from the sun that a visor would provide, invest in a full-on cap. PS, I've always found guys in baseball caps to be cuter than guys without, unless the cap were covering up baldness...
2)Denim Shorts: HEINOUS!!!!!! Jean shorts aren't cute, they weren't cute when you first started wearing them in the 3rd grade and they aren't cute now. Denim is meant to be a pant, maybe a jacket, but never a short (and in tandem constitutes a Canadian tuxedo and is the object of ridicule). They end up making you look like something that's stepped out of a trailer park.... and ladies, this applies to you too as denim shorts tend to make anyone's ass that isn't Jessica Simpson's look big. Please please PLEASE Washingtonians I implore you.... wear a nice khaki short, they're lightweight, flattering on more body types, and give you that preppy zing that I know you polo wearing, lily pulitzer having selves want.
3) Teva's/any sandle that incorporates velcro: Now I think that the Teva or any other sandle that incorporates a system of velcro or buckles is just way too ridiculous for words. It's the summer, you're wearing a sandle, what are the chances that a gust of wind is going to come up and blow your J.Crew flip flops ($5 by the way, I have like 8 pairs) off of your feet, in which case you believe that velcro would be necessary to strap sandles to your feet. And as to the argument that people like to wear them while hiking, if you are hiking you should be wearing shoes, something that will protect your feet from rocks and such and so forth. If that doesn't convince you three little words....AWKWARD TAN LINES!!! I support flip flops and maybe a nice slide a la adidas fame.. and having worn them as part of my work outfit (lifeguard) for 5 summers in a row I feel like I have a little bit to say on that issue.
4) Sleeveless T-shirts: Now let me just say this, I like sleeveless t-shirts, they're great to lounge around in, I won't workout in anything else, and on a comfort level I'm all over them like a fat kid on cake. HOWEVER, sleeveless T-shirts should not be worn out to any social or public function, nobody needs to see that much of your bare arm nor have any exposure to your armpit. Please if you are opting for a more casual look whilst going out, go for the t-shirt with the funny saying... my current favorites in my collection are "I would do me" and "Somebody in the Pentagon Loves Me" because Sleeveless T's were over 5 years ago.... jump on the bandwagon people!!!!!!
5) Popped Collar'd Polo's: Now I pop my color, this comment is not meant to discourage ALL people from doing this but some. I happen to have a long giraffe-like neck which, when worn with a popped collar does not obscure any part of my face. If you have a short neck and popping your collar obscures any part of your chin then please refrain...you end up looking like a tool.
So Washingtonians/ anyone else that may come across this blog, please, take heed, or the next time you see some mo's staring at you.... it won't be because they want to get with you....... and if you are currently wearing denim shorts, a visor, tevas AND a sleeveless t-shirt, please fall into the nearest GAP, I'll bet dollars to doughnuts there will be a helpful little mo there to advise you (after he stops laughing directly at you for a hot minute).
1)Visors: Visors are only okay if you are a little old asian woman. Otherwise please refrain. If you need the protection from the sun that a visor would provide, invest in a full-on cap. PS, I've always found guys in baseball caps to be cuter than guys without, unless the cap were covering up baldness...
2)Denim Shorts: HEINOUS!!!!!! Jean shorts aren't cute, they weren't cute when you first started wearing them in the 3rd grade and they aren't cute now. Denim is meant to be a pant, maybe a jacket, but never a short (and in tandem constitutes a Canadian tuxedo and is the object of ridicule). They end up making you look like something that's stepped out of a trailer park.... and ladies, this applies to you too as denim shorts tend to make anyone's ass that isn't Jessica Simpson's look big. Please please PLEASE Washingtonians I implore you.... wear a nice khaki short, they're lightweight, flattering on more body types, and give you that preppy zing that I know you polo wearing, lily pulitzer having selves want.
3) Teva's/any sandle that incorporates velcro: Now I think that the Teva or any other sandle that incorporates a system of velcro or buckles is just way too ridiculous for words. It's the summer, you're wearing a sandle, what are the chances that a gust of wind is going to come up and blow your J.Crew flip flops ($5 by the way, I have like 8 pairs) off of your feet, in which case you believe that velcro would be necessary to strap sandles to your feet. And as to the argument that people like to wear them while hiking, if you are hiking you should be wearing shoes, something that will protect your feet from rocks and such and so forth. If that doesn't convince you three little words....AWKWARD TAN LINES!!! I support flip flops and maybe a nice slide a la adidas fame.. and having worn them as part of my work outfit (lifeguard) for 5 summers in a row I feel like I have a little bit to say on that issue.
4) Sleeveless T-shirts: Now let me just say this, I like sleeveless t-shirts, they're great to lounge around in, I won't workout in anything else, and on a comfort level I'm all over them like a fat kid on cake. HOWEVER, sleeveless T-shirts should not be worn out to any social or public function, nobody needs to see that much of your bare arm nor have any exposure to your armpit. Please if you are opting for a more casual look whilst going out, go for the t-shirt with the funny saying... my current favorites in my collection are "I would do me" and "Somebody in the Pentagon Loves Me" because Sleeveless T's were over 5 years ago.... jump on the bandwagon people!!!!!!
5) Popped Collar'd Polo's: Now I pop my color, this comment is not meant to discourage ALL people from doing this but some. I happen to have a long giraffe-like neck which, when worn with a popped collar does not obscure any part of my face. If you have a short neck and popping your collar obscures any part of your chin then please refrain...you end up looking like a tool.
So Washingtonians/ anyone else that may come across this blog, please, take heed, or the next time you see some mo's staring at you.... it won't be because they want to get with you....... and if you are currently wearing denim shorts, a visor, tevas AND a sleeveless t-shirt, please fall into the nearest GAP, I'll bet dollars to doughnuts there will be a helpful little mo there to advise you (after he stops laughing directly at you for a hot minute).
Tuesday, September 06, 2005
Thumbs Up / Thumbs Down: "Live in Love" Edition
While the passing of Labor Day has many mourning the end of summer and putting away their best whites, Fall leaves much to look forward to, and Dale and I celebrated the weekend with a bang!
1. Thumbs up (and down) to the Phillies for spanking the Nats on Friday night while Dale, some friends and myself attended, but thumbs down to the Phils for dropping the next two games (and last night's series opener against the Astros).
2. Thumbs down to me for dropping, and breaking, my digital camera. Luckily I have all of my pictures saved on my computer. Oh wait...
3. Thumbs down to my computer for DYING this weekend!!! WTF! I've had it for 14 months, and I barely use it! I only lost a few thousand songs, a few hundred pictures and some word docs. I will be the first to admit that this situation could have been MUCH worse (after all, my replacement will have Mac OS X Tiger ), but still. I am going to firebomb the Apple HQ...
4. Thumbs up to Rehoboth! Great weather on Saturday (save the icey water) provided for a lovely day of relaxation, sun and sand!
5. Thumbs down to the group of 'Mos (and their accompanying hags) seated next to us pumping out the equivalent of a typical night at Cobalt from their iPod for all to hear. "It's 11:00 AM, I dragged my ass out of bed at 6 to get here, and I really don't feel like dealing with the latest Kylie Minogue remix!" (Btw, one of these guys was named "Boomer" and from Baltimore, need I say more?)
6. Thumbs down to white, glittering speedos. Why don't you get a stamp on your ass that reads "Dive In"? (and is glittering sun screen really necessary?)
7. Thumbs up to R. for an awesome bbq / party on Sunday. As usual, drinks and food were plentiful!
8. Thumbs up to Dale for giving R. a lap dance at said party and breaking the chair R. was sitting on in the process!
9. Thumbs down to me for being a complete bitch after dealing with the Great Computer Fiasco of 2005. Hopefully this will be resolved swiftly or I will learn to lay off my bitch pills in the morning.
10. Thumbs up to Encore! for their "Big 80's Weekend." A night cap of Working Girl was exactly what I needed!
11. Thumbs down to Google's Picasa for being only compatible with PC's. Granted, I have neither a camera nor a computer at the moment, but still Flickr has already proven to be worthless, so I was hoping to find an alternative.
Hopefully I can chill the f out this week, get some very important tasks accomplished (hmmm... I wonder what this means...) and be in better spirits by the weekend.
1. Thumbs up (and down) to the Phillies for spanking the Nats on Friday night while Dale, some friends and myself attended, but thumbs down to the Phils for dropping the next two games (and last night's series opener against the Astros).
2. Thumbs down to me for dropping, and breaking, my digital camera. Luckily I have all of my pictures saved on my computer. Oh wait...
3. Thumbs down to my computer for DYING this weekend!!! WTF! I've had it for 14 months, and I barely use it! I only lost a few thousand songs, a few hundred pictures and some word docs. I will be the first to admit that this situation could have been MUCH worse (after all, my replacement will have Mac OS X Tiger ), but still. I am going to firebomb the Apple HQ...
4. Thumbs up to Rehoboth! Great weather on Saturday (save the icey water) provided for a lovely day of relaxation, sun and sand!
5. Thumbs down to the group of 'Mos (and their accompanying hags) seated next to us pumping out the equivalent of a typical night at Cobalt from their iPod for all to hear. "It's 11:00 AM, I dragged my ass out of bed at 6 to get here, and I really don't feel like dealing with the latest Kylie Minogue remix!" (Btw, one of these guys was named "Boomer" and from Baltimore, need I say more?)
6. Thumbs down to white, glittering speedos. Why don't you get a stamp on your ass that reads "Dive In"? (and is glittering sun screen really necessary?)
7. Thumbs up to R. for an awesome bbq / party on Sunday. As usual, drinks and food were plentiful!
8. Thumbs up to Dale for giving R. a lap dance at said party and breaking the chair R. was sitting on in the process!
9. Thumbs down to me for being a complete bitch after dealing with the Great Computer Fiasco of 2005. Hopefully this will be resolved swiftly or I will learn to lay off my bitch pills in the morning.
10. Thumbs up to Encore! for their "Big 80's Weekend." A night cap of Working Girl was exactly what I needed!
11. Thumbs down to Google's Picasa for being only compatible with PC's. Granted, I have neither a camera nor a computer at the moment, but still Flickr has already proven to be worthless, so I was hoping to find an alternative.
Hopefully I can chill the f out this week, get some very important tasks accomplished (hmmm... I wonder what this means...) and be in better spirits by the weekend.
Weekend Roundup or wow I'm dumb
Ok, so apparently I have no common sense, and no filter in between my brain and my mouth. Also I do stupid things, all of this can happen at once or one can be preceded and/or followed by any of the other two. This weekend was chock full of said examples.
1) Going to the Phillies/Nat's game after happy hour at Chips place of employment, preceding to not watch any of the game and just talk about the trashy people that are sitting around us.... apparently very loudly.... oops, I'm sorry but mullet's are NOT ok and as I like to term them, a hate crime against good hair. Also, post Phillies game having Chip in his non-sober state push me in my non-sober state out the metro doors because he was sure I was at my stop, and me tending to trust Chip to be right believe him.......and then proceed to get lost in Capitol Hill. Thankfully I made it back to the metro and took it the one stop I needed to before being able to peace the EF out in my domicile.
2) Going back to Rehomo for the last hurrah of the beach, seeing people I'd rather not have to deal with, Read: going out friends whom if I have a normal conversation with in daylight I want to shove Q-tips in my ears till I puncture my eardrum. Going into the water....coming out of the water wanting to be all slick like baywatch.... and then proceed to bite it hardcore as I trip and a wave hits me.... sweet...
3) Going to Halo and Cobalt with Chip + his peeps and having one of the members of Chips coterie introduce me to a guy he's on a first date with..... does anyone else see taking a guy out to Halo and Cobalt on your first date as asking for trouble?? But then having said date hit on me and totally ignore the friend and me awkwardly trying to play it off.... Yeah the night ended with me saying I was going home via metro, having the date offer to walk me to the metro, and then having the friend escort the date and I to the metro to make sure I wasn't going to make the moves on the friend....... as if! (the date was only marginally cute and I had had better offers at cobalt during the course of my tenure there)
4) Going shopping with Chip and A, and seeing a wrist band that says "Live in Love" and actually in the middle of the store holding it up, asking the sales person what it meant, not understanding and then uttering very loudly, "Live in Love, is that like Live in Maid?" and not joking.......
5) Going to a fabulous BBQ at the home of one of Chip and I's mutual friends, having a glass of white wine spilled all over my shirt and coming to the conclusion that at this party where I know pretty much the hosts and that's it, take off my shirt, put it in the dryer and just walk around for half an hour with no shirt.....oddly enough I don't think anybody cared... I used it as a conversation piece, and tried to parlay it into a reason to sit on a very good looking totally heterosexuals lap... he's one of the hosts that I actually knew but I think everyone thought it was funny.
Labor day weekend, thumbs up to you!!! even though Monday, the better part of the day was spent at the Apple store in P.City cuz Chips computer died like Meredith Baxter in a lifetime movie.....
Gay Happy Hour Attempt 2 is unfortunately table'd for the time being due to scheduling conflicts..... how many mo's does it take to organize a social function???
1) Going to the Phillies/Nat's game after happy hour at Chips place of employment, preceding to not watch any of the game and just talk about the trashy people that are sitting around us.... apparently very loudly.... oops, I'm sorry but mullet's are NOT ok and as I like to term them, a hate crime against good hair. Also, post Phillies game having Chip in his non-sober state push me in my non-sober state out the metro doors because he was sure I was at my stop, and me tending to trust Chip to be right believe him.......and then proceed to get lost in Capitol Hill. Thankfully I made it back to the metro and took it the one stop I needed to before being able to peace the EF out in my domicile.
2) Going back to Rehomo for the last hurrah of the beach, seeing people I'd rather not have to deal with, Read: going out friends whom if I have a normal conversation with in daylight I want to shove Q-tips in my ears till I puncture my eardrum. Going into the water....coming out of the water wanting to be all slick like baywatch.... and then proceed to bite it hardcore as I trip and a wave hits me.... sweet...
3) Going to Halo and Cobalt with Chip + his peeps and having one of the members of Chips coterie introduce me to a guy he's on a first date with..... does anyone else see taking a guy out to Halo and Cobalt on your first date as asking for trouble?? But then having said date hit on me and totally ignore the friend and me awkwardly trying to play it off.... Yeah the night ended with me saying I was going home via metro, having the date offer to walk me to the metro, and then having the friend escort the date and I to the metro to make sure I wasn't going to make the moves on the friend....... as if! (the date was only marginally cute and I had had better offers at cobalt during the course of my tenure there)
4) Going shopping with Chip and A, and seeing a wrist band that says "Live in Love" and actually in the middle of the store holding it up, asking the sales person what it meant, not understanding and then uttering very loudly, "Live in Love, is that like Live in Maid?" and not joking.......
5) Going to a fabulous BBQ at the home of one of Chip and I's mutual friends, having a glass of white wine spilled all over my shirt and coming to the conclusion that at this party where I know pretty much the hosts and that's it, take off my shirt, put it in the dryer and just walk around for half an hour with no shirt.....oddly enough I don't think anybody cared... I used it as a conversation piece, and tried to parlay it into a reason to sit on a very good looking totally heterosexuals lap... he's one of the hosts that I actually knew but I think everyone thought it was funny.
Labor day weekend, thumbs up to you!!! even though Monday, the better part of the day was spent at the Apple store in P.City cuz Chips computer died like Meredith Baxter in a lifetime movie.....
Gay Happy Hour Attempt 2 is unfortunately table'd for the time being due to scheduling conflicts..... how many mo's does it take to organize a social function???
Friday, September 02, 2005
Sound of Music
I was inspired by reading this earlier today and got to thinking...
Which bands or artists do you enjoy so much that you would purchase their albums without needing to hear even a single note of music beforehand?
Considering I spend as much time as I can listening to music, and it's Friday afternoon, I've enjoyed coming up with my list. In no particular order:
Radiohead
U2
Bloc Party (If you haven't picked up "Silent Alarm" do so immediately!)
Doves
Thursday
Interpol
Linkin Park (I'm not proud of this, but I'd be lying if I didn't include them)
Possibly: Stills, Fiction Plane and Killers.
What about you?
Which bands or artists do you enjoy so much that you would purchase their albums without needing to hear even a single note of music beforehand?
Considering I spend as much time as I can listening to music, and it's Friday afternoon, I've enjoyed coming up with my list. In no particular order:
Radiohead
U2
Bloc Party (If you haven't picked up "Silent Alarm" do so immediately!)
Doves
Thursday
Interpol
Linkin Park (I'm not proud of this, but I'd be lying if I didn't include them)
Possibly: Stills, Fiction Plane and Killers.
What about you?
The best laid plans of Mice and Men........
First let me preface with a heartfelt apology for the Happy Hour being a total bust last night... I had absolutely no idea that Gazuza would be closed for one night for renovations and that night was last night. If anyone would like to take the reigns for organizing the first successful Gay Happy Hour I will gladly defer, if not I can figure something out!
So..... after standing around like bumps on a pickle, Dudley and I decided that maybe the Mo's that showed up to Gazuza may have emigrated east to JR's, so we decided to make a cameo there. We show up, do the obligatory lap and settle on some real estate with a couple of Dudley's friends who are just sweet as pixie sticks. I decide I wanted to do a solo lap and do a little smoky eye action at a few choice individuals.... and by few I mean 2 in the entire bar.... walk upstairs, survey the scene, come back down and as I'm making my way back to Dudley et. al. when out of the crowd steps a large black man that's 6'6" at least and built like a refridgerator (turns out he used to play football at clemson) but he stands in my way and puts his arms around me, leans in and whispers "you are so beautiful" to which I do the shy look down and laugh with the requisite "Oh thank you, aren't you sweet" and I try to walk away but he won't let go of me!! I fake left, I fake right.... no go. He tells me I'm beautiful a couple more times and finally lets me go, so I obviously go back to dudley and have him and his friends form the gay force field around me thereby curbing any other advances.
After a while it's post 8pm and Dudley and I decide to check out Chloe, so we walk the runway (17th st. between JR's and Cobalt) go to Hush/Chloe and walk in. Now the space is gorgeous, the bartenders are so hot I wanted to get down on my knees and give thanks right there..... that's right... I said it.... anyways besides them the place was pretty much empty which is attributed to the newness of Hush + Labor Day weekend, totally reasonable. So obviously Dudley and I saddle up to the bar and I make besties with the two bartenders, I ask to see their tattoos (I'm incorrigible) and have a rather lengthy conversation about non-asian people getting Chinese/Japanese characters as tattoos, I translated his for him *blush*, there were two of them, both fine specimens of the male form, and apparently very entertained by me (I'm pretty sure they were both Ro's) and they gave dudley and I free drinks :). We turn around to further survey the emptiness and who walks in??? oh you guessed it, The walking Fridge who makes a beeline for me and starts trying to chat me up, oh he was with some white boy who obviously was uncomfortable there, still not sure what his deal was but I didn't pay much attention to him. So he asked me what my name was I said Patrick (my name is not patrick) he asked me what I did, I said I worked for the state department and I was home from assignment (I am not employed by the State department), he kept feeding me lines such as "I thought you were a model, your smile lights up the room, blah blah blah blah blah" Now, I have done fashion shows before but I feel that to call yourself a model is to A) have that as your primary career and B)have that be the most interesting thing about you, neither of which is true in my case. So after that Dudley and I made our escape, flirted shamelessly some more with the bartender, and parted ways at the door, I cabbed it home ( and I've totally figured out that taking cabs at the current rate is cheaper than driving my own car around the city) and made myself some pasta and passed the eff out..........
TGIF..... Thank Gucci for the long weekend, and hopefully the phillies game, Rehomo, and parties/ going out on sunday will give me enough ammo for uber blogging come tuesday!!!!
I would like to make another suggestion: Gay Happy Hour #1 Take 2 will be in full effect Wednesday September 7, 7 pm at Gazuza (I promise it'll be open then)
So..... after standing around like bumps on a pickle, Dudley and I decided that maybe the Mo's that showed up to Gazuza may have emigrated east to JR's, so we decided to make a cameo there. We show up, do the obligatory lap and settle on some real estate with a couple of Dudley's friends who are just sweet as pixie sticks. I decide I wanted to do a solo lap and do a little smoky eye action at a few choice individuals.... and by few I mean 2 in the entire bar.... walk upstairs, survey the scene, come back down and as I'm making my way back to Dudley et. al. when out of the crowd steps a large black man that's 6'6" at least and built like a refridgerator (turns out he used to play football at clemson) but he stands in my way and puts his arms around me, leans in and whispers "you are so beautiful" to which I do the shy look down and laugh with the requisite "Oh thank you, aren't you sweet" and I try to walk away but he won't let go of me!! I fake left, I fake right.... no go. He tells me I'm beautiful a couple more times and finally lets me go, so I obviously go back to dudley and have him and his friends form the gay force field around me thereby curbing any other advances.
After a while it's post 8pm and Dudley and I decide to check out Chloe, so we walk the runway (17th st. between JR's and Cobalt) go to Hush/Chloe and walk in. Now the space is gorgeous, the bartenders are so hot I wanted to get down on my knees and give thanks right there..... that's right... I said it.... anyways besides them the place was pretty much empty which is attributed to the newness of Hush + Labor Day weekend, totally reasonable. So obviously Dudley and I saddle up to the bar and I make besties with the two bartenders, I ask to see their tattoos (I'm incorrigible) and have a rather lengthy conversation about non-asian people getting Chinese/Japanese characters as tattoos, I translated his for him *blush*, there were two of them, both fine specimens of the male form, and apparently very entertained by me (I'm pretty sure they were both Ro's) and they gave dudley and I free drinks :). We turn around to further survey the emptiness and who walks in??? oh you guessed it, The walking Fridge who makes a beeline for me and starts trying to chat me up, oh he was with some white boy who obviously was uncomfortable there, still not sure what his deal was but I didn't pay much attention to him. So he asked me what my name was I said Patrick (my name is not patrick) he asked me what I did, I said I worked for the state department and I was home from assignment (I am not employed by the State department), he kept feeding me lines such as "I thought you were a model, your smile lights up the room, blah blah blah blah blah" Now, I have done fashion shows before but I feel that to call yourself a model is to A) have that as your primary career and B)have that be the most interesting thing about you, neither of which is true in my case. So after that Dudley and I made our escape, flirted shamelessly some more with the bartender, and parted ways at the door, I cabbed it home ( and I've totally figured out that taking cabs at the current rate is cheaper than driving my own car around the city) and made myself some pasta and passed the eff out..........
TGIF..... Thank Gucci for the long weekend, and hopefully the phillies game, Rehomo, and parties/ going out on sunday will give me enough ammo for uber blogging come tuesday!!!!
I would like to make another suggestion: Gay Happy Hour #1 Take 2 will be in full effect Wednesday September 7, 7 pm at Gazuza (I promise it'll be open then)
Thursday, September 01, 2005
Randomness....such is life
1.) Cause bracelets.....they're over.... I'm glad you support testicular cancer or breast cancer or AIDS or whatever.... please refrain from supporting it on your wrist. The causes have now reached ridiculous proportions to my friend A who gave out cause bracelets as a joke at a party she had recently to support walking, I mean really what are they going to come out with next? Bracelets that support one-armed dyslexic black midgets that have been bitten by the deadly staring frog of southern sri lanka? The only cause bracelets I support are the ones that support tiffanys, cartier and bulgari. OH also the bracelets I bought while drunk in london..... and on that subject I would like to provide a list of ridiculous purchases I've made while intoxicated
-Versace + D&G bracelets at Selfridges in London because the sales people were pissing me off
-Gucci Fanny pack from Saks (they were giving out martinis and I was going through a Sarah J Parker thing from Sex and the city).... I returned it, fanny packs are bad....
-square cut swimwear..... oh Universal queer, how you mock me.
-Cashmere pants from Ralph Lauren..... I really didn't want to take these back...
2) Playing Kickball and going from said game to a bar to playing flipcup is awesome (Especially when your team spanks the other team in the last inning and then you have the littlest girl on your team spank the biggest guy on the other team in flipcup).... however it is not awesome when afterwards you crave food and proceed to eat a pound of leftover chili that was meant for dinners for the next 3 days..... my stomach is not happy with me right now....
3) Accidentally dialing one of your friends/kickball teammate at 2 in the morning for an unknown reason..... not cute.... sorry T!!! Note: I don't remember doing this nor do I recall being awake at said hour, I was definitely home by 10:30 and asleep by 11:15. (Also, T was not at her house and the phone ring was only heard by a gentleman who's house she had passed out at...don't worry nothing raunchy.....I think)
4) Having a doppleganger on your kickball team, I've been called his name by at least 3 different people.... except he's actually good at kickball and I don't like to be in the field cuz I don't like balls coming at my face... "well there goes your social life" *anyone, what movie???* I definitely asked him at one point at the bar if I had succumbed to the asian blush and we came to the realization we both were.... sad times....
5) The rejection hotline number.... someone sent me an email listing all of them.... HILARIOUS!
Yay for Happy Hour tonight....see everyone at 7 at Gazuza, be there, and be fabulous
-Versace + D&G bracelets at Selfridges in London because the sales people were pissing me off
-Gucci Fanny pack from Saks (they were giving out martinis and I was going through a Sarah J Parker thing from Sex and the city).... I returned it, fanny packs are bad....
-square cut swimwear..... oh Universal queer, how you mock me.
-Cashmere pants from Ralph Lauren..... I really didn't want to take these back...
2) Playing Kickball and going from said game to a bar to playing flipcup is awesome (Especially when your team spanks the other team in the last inning and then you have the littlest girl on your team spank the biggest guy on the other team in flipcup).... however it is not awesome when afterwards you crave food and proceed to eat a pound of leftover chili that was meant for dinners for the next 3 days..... my stomach is not happy with me right now....
3) Accidentally dialing one of your friends/kickball teammate at 2 in the morning for an unknown reason..... not cute.... sorry T!!! Note: I don't remember doing this nor do I recall being awake at said hour, I was definitely home by 10:30 and asleep by 11:15. (Also, T was not at her house and the phone ring was only heard by a gentleman who's house she had passed out at...don't worry nothing raunchy.....I think)
4) Having a doppleganger on your kickball team, I've been called his name by at least 3 different people.... except he's actually good at kickball and I don't like to be in the field cuz I don't like balls coming at my face... "well there goes your social life" *anyone, what movie???* I definitely asked him at one point at the bar if I had succumbed to the asian blush and we came to the realization we both were.... sad times....
5) The rejection hotline number.... someone sent me an email listing all of them.... HILARIOUS!
Yay for Happy Hour tonight....see everyone at 7 at Gazuza, be there, and be fabulous
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)