I will not bore everyone with stories of teenage angst, back seats, and the captain of the football team as was my coming out experience. Rather I will leave you with the top ten reasons I'm glad I'm one of the baby jesus's "Chosen People"
10. The ability to watch shows such as Golden Girls, Designing Women, and Roseanne with nary a bit of shame in the world.
9. The wonders of saying inappropriate things in mixed (read: straight people) company and watching them mull over in their heads "was that uncalled for or am I ignorant for not being more sensitive to his gay needs" ...... while I'm talking about how weird it was that my housekeeper found my d*ldo and how we all had a big laugh..... (that was JUST an example, didn't necessarily happen)
8). Rupert Everett
7). The ability to make everyday culinary items into a masterpiece using my vo-gay-bulary. For example, I didn't make shake and bake last night, I made butterflied pork cutlets basted in a bedcrumb and seasoning mixture served baked with assorted blanched greens (frozen green beans), before which I had a wonderful pickled vegetable delicacy (olives out of the jar)
6). Drag Queens, it is my firm belief that every gay person should do drag at least once..... There is nothing in this world that makes you more able to laugh at yourself and be more comfortable in one's skin than doing some drag, even if you do look like a carnie while doing it.
5). Anderson Cooper: Good looking, he's a Vanderbilt for crying out loud!!! Although from what I hear, that lady's a bit too freaky even for me!
4). The ability to be able to have a cocktail at 9 am on a sunday without fear of judgement, and the only question asked is..... what type of vodka would you like?
3). The fantastic ability to be able to relate to people from my lady friends to their jock/meathead boyfriends, I will say that being gay does make you abundantly versatile in the ability to talk to all types of people!!
2). The fear one instills when at a party from the single straight men who are more than aware that two sentences from you and they will not be getting laid by any of the attractive women in the room, most of whom were your friends before the party and all of whom are your friends during.
1). And the best thing I like being gay is......................sex with men..................(Probably expecting something more profound huh?)