So.... High Heel Race Recap.
I learned many things last night from my debut as Lady Violet Blossom, DC's Premier Gay-sha, let me share some of my "good choice/bad choice" moments
Running is a bad choice for me, especially in a micro mini, especially in 3 inch spiked heels 2 sizes too small for me, especially when the gentlemen that are actually planning to run look like this.
A good choice was attending a fabulous pre-party gathering with a group of people 90% of whom I had no idea who they were and half of them looked like polo models. Quote of the evening went to a very attractive gentleman whom I believe one of my friends is "entertaining" at the moment....... "When [Lady Violet Blossom] came upstairs I knew what all the other straight guys in the room were thinking, 'why did I just get an erection?' "
A Bad choice was not being prepared for the press, when a reporter for a newspaper came up to me and asked me my name it totally didn't occur to me to say "Lady Violet Blossom" so I gave him the real first name.... and he looked at me like I had a touch of the downs.
A good choice was not falling. Thank you baby jesus for allowing me to stay upright while at the High Heel race last night.
A Bad choice was one gentleman who, while meaning well, after he had his picture taken with me offered me a Pearl Necklace..... upon seeing the look of shock and mild disgust on my face he quickly followed that up with "No No No like an actual necklace, like beads... here!!!" [Insert awkward turtle here]
A good choice was all of the bar-staff having the graciousness to allow me to jump in front of any line I came across last night post race. It was Fuh-Reee-Zing and I heard more than once from people that I was being photographed with "Honey You're Shaking!" No effing kidding I was shaking... I was wearing 1 layer of cotton (the fabric of our lives) and a speedo to keep warm and I've got the body fat of Kate Moss on a diet.
A Bad choice was someone who shall remain nameless throwing me some shade last night because he thought that he was in a position of some importance..... No m'aam, I know what freaky deaky stuff you're down with.... don't mess with me, my wig was big last night.... and full of effing secrets.... I am Gaysha.
A Great Choice was the time I had last night, I took pictures with more people last night than I had in the past year, including several what I figured were immigrant families who must've thought I was some sort of alien. I had a great time before, during, and after the race and saw a bunch of my friends AND I didn't do a walk of shame this morning which would have to have been done in my kimono.... after all..... I am Gaysha.