Monday, September 13, 2010

Facebook Etiquette, Manners in the Modern Age

Hello again duckies. If you're like me (and let's face it, if you were your life would be a lot more sparkly) you spend a lot of your free time on Facebook. Like it or not facebook has become one of the foremost social networking sites of the land, and a wonderful way to keep tabs on ex's, the mean girl in HS, and whomever else that you enjoy having documented proof of that they're either morbidly obese, working at a gas station, or "blessed" with now their fourth or fifth child.... P.S. by blessed I mean awfully tied down.

I would be remiss as the current Duchess of Protocol if I didn't lay down some rules so that we can move forward with this new fangled technology with an air of decorum and propriety.... so grab your cocktails, pick out some elbow length gloves, and gather your hoop-skirts ladies cuz here's some knowledge!!!!

Let's start out with the pictures you post.....now I'm sure that while you were getting drunk at a bar on a Wednesday and thought taking pictures was a fantastic idea, I would think twice before putting said pictures on your facebook. As funny as those pictures seem to you, to everyone else on the interwebs you look like a mess, an awful embarrassing drunken mess. Also, if you're out of college, the drunken blackout pictures are just a sad sad sad attempt at you trying to reclaim your youth. Now this is not to say if you're out and about at a party or event and you take funny pictures those aren't appropriate, I would just say please tread the line carefully duckies between entertainingly tipsy and ridiculously trashy.

Accepting/Giving a friend request. let's face some hard truths....you're not as popular as you think you are.... and you're not as memorable, so to the person that you may have said hello to as an acquaintance of a friend of a neighbor, don't request to be their friend. Unless you know their first and last name, and can recall at least 4 instances wherein you've had a conversation please don't assume that your presence is so sought after that someone else will be in the awkward position of saying to themselves.... who the crap is this fool?? And on the flipside, if someone requests to be your friend and you can't remember at least 4 instances where you've had a conversant instance.... don't accept.

Wall Posts - everyone likes an update, and what is facebook if not a forum where you can let other people know the goings-on of your head but here are a couple of tips for you when engaging in said wall postings. A). Nobody wants to know about how much you love your (girlfriend, boyfriend, wife, husband etc.) the only thing a posting like that will accomplish is to put me off my tea, and no this is not coming from a place of bitter loneliness, just a place of haughty propriety and manners. B). Don't engage in arguments via wall postings, having an argument in such an open forum just begs to be broadcast and you won't come out smelling like roses, trust our royal highness. C). Stay klassy ladies... .stay klassy.

Now this is obviously an incomplete list, but should start you well on your way to becoming classy lady of the new century!

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