Friday (Five) the thirteenth......oooooooooooooh(scary noise)

1). To this day I still feel uncomfortable standing in front of or near a microwave when it's heating whatever delicious item I am in requirement of. I'm still marginally convinced that to do so will render me either ridden with tumors, mutated so that I can sneeze out of my belly button, or make me grow a horn.

(Actual story, when my grandfather turned 92 he actually started to grow a horn out of his ear, it was actually tissue most closely associated with fingernails but since his DNA had broken down so much his body was going all banana sandwich..... I remember my mom clipping his horn with a pair of nail clippers...... I had to use an emory board on it once.... I kinda wanted to paint it hot pink.... he probably wouldn't have liked that)

2). I'm 80% sure that dogs and cat's and most domestic animals can understand things that people say and then talk about them amongst themselves later. If my dog Chloe aka (HRH la contessa Chloe of DC and MD) lived with me now I wonder what she would tell her friends about my gentlemen callers....

Chloe: Did you see who [Dale] went to dinner with last night? I swear he can do SO much better

Chloe's Dog Friend: Whatever, have you BEEN to the dog park lately?? it aint exactly a buyers market.

Chloe: True but did you see this one's hair??

Chloe's Dog Friend: Don't even get me started, natural hair color my butt.

3). At Christmas when I was little my parents told me that after I went to sleep, all the ornaments on the tree would come alive and play around cuz it was christmas, and then they'd mix up all the ornaments before I woke up and leave one at the foot of my bed to drive the point home. That may have scarred me and I may or may not have had nightmares about the little drummer boy shoving his drum sticks into my eyeball as I dreamt of sugarplums and such.

4). I'm still convinced that if I don't eat rice at least a couple times a week all of a sudden my eyes will go round and my hair will go blonde..... don't laugh at me.... asian people know things, and I aint questioning grandma.

5). When I was very little and learning how to swim some mean-ass big kid told me that the drain at the bottom of the well was there to keep the sharks in their cage. I believed him and went bonkers anyone tried to get me to go in the deep end till I was 7 or 8. I think he has two children out of wedlock and works at Target now...... karma sweet ass karma.