Tuesday, July 26, 2005

I think I Just Threw Up a Lil' Bit in my Mouth

My co-worker's nipples are SO hard today, it's driving me crazy. She has serious wardrobe malfunctions all of the time. Let's review:

1) Basics: She used to have a good body (according to pictures), but she is now plumpy to say the least.

2) Symptoms: Nipples A GO GO, flab hanging over her jeans and seeing her thong well above her pant line. I am not trying to vomit at my desk, thank you!

3) Problem: Her parents have more money than they know what to do with so they shower her with expensive everythings. Unfortunately, expensive clothing doesn't make her look any less Shamu.

4) Solution: Cut my eyes out with a rusty fork, because I'm sick of feeling the need to curl up in the fetal position under my desk rolling back and forth while shaking and sobbing.

3 comments:

Dale said...

If her parents have more money than they know what to do with they NEED to do one of two things

1). Get that girl a coke habit, nothing says thin like a little nose candy

or

2) Pay for lipo, I mean really, lets just treat the problem!!!

Oh, that girl. said...

Do the circle the fat. Get her on a stool, in a bikini, with a black permanent marker and CIRCLE THE FAT!

Asian Mistress said...

Unfortunately expensive clothing is usually made for those who are size 2. Which, apparently, she is not.