Thursday, July 28, 2005

Flirting or Being Friendly?

Something happened at the gym yesterday that got me thinking about a line in social behavior that I do not feel I walk gracefully:

I went to the gym after work, and the front desk was empty, so I took it upon myself to scan my card. As I headed to the locker room, a woman who works the front desk approached me and the following encounter ensued:

Woman: Where do you think you're going? (in a friendly tone, not a bitchy one)
I point to the work out area
Woman: Hold up, I need to check you in
Me: But I already did it
Woman: How would you know do that?
Me: Well, it isn't that complicated (point and click...)
We walk back to the front desk
Woman: What's your name?
Me: "Chip"
Woman: Wow, you did it right! I haven't seen you much this week, you're slacking off.
Me: I know, I've been busy this week

At this point, I walk off. I wanted to say, "Well now that you know my name, you have to tell me yours" and continue the conversation a bit more. However, I could not help but feel as though such actions would suggest flirtation. I've been accussed of flirting with girls before, so I am rather conscious as to how my behavior may be interpreted. Nevertheless, all I wanted to do was engage in a friendly conversation, is that really so awful? Am I overreacting or being dramatic? (rhetorical question; do not answer)

How does one know when the line between being friendly and flirting has been crossed? (sorry for using the passive tense) Granted, I doubt she knows I'm gay, but it is possible, so I could've been hesitant for nothing. Then again, it's really awkward when a girl presents interest and I have to inform her that I'm gay. I've never had any problems with this, but it's best avoided. This dilemma represents another grey area that is somewhat unique to homosexuality (the most classic example being who pays on dates b/w two members of the same sex). Often, these areas represent opportunities for creativity, since you're bucking the norm and writing your own rules, but some caution also must be displayed. I'm all about being friendly, but I am not trying to give anyone the wrong idea. Maybe if I walk around with a dick up my ass, things will be more clear?


Dale said...

Oh my darling Chip.... honey you could roast marshmallows off the flames you emit.. pretty sure she wasn't after you for some sweaty Chip-loving.... as for the dating

1)I've never to this date paid on dates... then again I don't ask guys out... I feel if they ask me out it's their obligation for the most part.

2)Gym bag with matching strap that you made yourself? Sweatbands that coordinate with your shorts?? darling she knows....we all know....

aklsdjhfa said...

Put down your haterade and stop being jealous that my flame is adjustable... just like the home-made (and adorable) strap I made for my bag!

Dale said...

Oh I'm not hating...I'm celebrating... and please my flame burns bright, unlike your little pilot light. Who has two interchangeable straps for their gym bag to coordinate with different outfits? oh that's right me... ha ha ha, and I'm pretty sure helen keller could tell that I'm a big ole mary (booty shorts to the gym? anyone?)

The Boy said...

If you ask, you pay.

And if you didn't ask the first time, you should ask the next time and pay.

Dale said...

the boy does make a strong point, but situations get unclear when it starts out with drinks or coffee... meals are interchangeable I feel as are movies/outings

aklsdjhfa said...

I generally prefer the dutch approach. I don't have the patience to deal with the whole "I asked, so I pay. I don't want to pay, but I don't want to wait for him to ask (b/c I'm livin' la vida broka)" BS. So, unless it's a special occassion, or one person does the asking and plans an expensive evening, I always prefer dutch.

Dale said...

that's a very good point.... livin la vida broka is tots the word of the day.... PS, entry level jobs are busted... 4 years of college for this??? this is BANANAS

Oh, that girl. said...

My thoughts? THere is nothing I love more than flirting with a gay man. Its the most fun! It great for both of you, makes you feel sexy and wanton, but you know it will never go anywhere, so you never have to worry about the next step. I think you should have continued the conversation, and if she was interested, let her know of your being gay. It can't hurt. Either that or start every conversation with, "HI, Im Gay and am not interested in dating you, but what's your name?" I don't think that one really works well.

Dating Hell Diarist said...

My advice would be to engage in conversation, but make sure that within a few sentences you've dropped a clear signpost as to your orientation (and don't rely on gaydar, not everyone has it! This reminds me of the time I met this really cool gay girl, and she announced that she was the editor of a radical feminist lesbian literary journal - and I still failed to catch on that she was gay until someone one mentioned it to me later ... and I was like: Oh! I guess that would explain her being the editor of a radical feminist lesbian literary journal!)

For example, you say, "You know my name, now you have to tell me yours ... " (then you look down at your watch, and say, as if distractedly talking to yourself:) "Shoot ... my boyfriend was supposed to meet me here ten minutes ago ..." and then continue on with the conversation. Once you've dropped the boyfriend mention (and of course, there is no need for the boyfriend to be anything but fictional), you can flirt away to your heart's content!