So ok, I may have been stopped on the Street walking home one evening before we decided to travel to our country home this past weekend and was stopped by a gentleman who was not wholly unattractive who said he'd seen me out before and was wondering if I was on my way to a place where he could buy me a beverage. I was in more of a "disney movie and pj's" type of place but didn't want to brush him off, I gave him my phone number..... I really shouldn't have done that.
Sunday morning rolled around and I check my phone and see that I have a missed call from an unknown 202 number so it being brunchy time and I being sated with leftover chinese food and a mimosa I return said phone call.
Mmmhmm it turns out he was getting off of work at 4 in the morning when he called and just wanted to drop me a line.... who the poo does that??? Strike one.
Turns out he is a bouncer at a straight club that is not located in the NW quadrant of our fair city. Turns out when probed for which straight club he wouldn't name the club when I asked which one. Turns out that would be a side job for his primary job as a construction worker.... sketchiness factor for being shady has been elevated and we have a strike two.
So I asked him where he'd seen me out before, I was thinking it'd be along the lines of a JR's or L'Auriol Plaza or even maybe a Fox & Hounds sighting...... turns out I was wrong and the following convo is evident.
Me: So where'd you see me out? (thinking JR's probably in my head)
Sketch Master Flex (SMF): Oh I think I saw you dancing a while ago.
Me: (Thinking to myself that I haven't been to Sadlands or Hobalt in months) Oh really? I don't think I've been dancing in a really long time.
SMF: Oh it was pretty recent, it was probably Wet or Fuego or something.
Me: Ummm those are strip clubs though, not much of a dancefloor, plus the last time I was at a Strip club was for 20 minutes in January.
SMF: No you were on the stage, you're a stripper right??
Me: (Heat rising, eyes bulging out as I hear this over the phone) I'm sorry, I don't think I heard you correctly..... you think I'm a what??
SMF: A stripper, I could have sworn I've seen you onstage at Wet at least
Me: I'm sorry, I have never, and will never be a stripper, not that there is anything wrong with shaking all the blessings you've received from the baby jesus however I will never be part of that professional group.
SMF: Oh. Well if you're free I'd still like to take you out for a drink sometime.
Me: I'm sorry, I don't believe that will be happening in the forseeable future, maybe you should go back to wet and try to find whomever you thought I was originally.
P.S. - I'm still on the fence about if being mistaken for a stripper is a compliment or an insult. I either look like I could be paid for taking my clothes off or a cracked out boat person like in "Fame"....... *sobbing* fame!.....I wanna live forever......