Tuesday, October 11, 2005

Come out Come out.....wherever you are!

Today, October 11, is National Coming Out Day. I wonder perhaps if many people actually use this day to come out... I mean October? really? When I came out it was more out of convenience than an inner necessity to make peace with who I was. I mean really.

So ok, in HS I was "friends" with a member of the varsity football team. We were "friends" for most of HS as a matter of fact. I'm still not sure as to how many people actually knew we were "friends" but I believe that behind closed doors people sure talked about it, he never had any girlfriends and I...well.... I mean come on, I'm not fooling anybody even though I never mentioned it. My high school was abound with the gays, there was a gay-straight alliance, a couple times one of my friends came to school in drag... it was a gay old time. I never had any problems in HS because I was mr. Honor Roll as well as All-American for Diving, it allowed me a certain level of comfort even if I did get the F-bomb thrown at me on occasion.

Anyways, so while I was "friends" with Captain America Football man, this other gentleman who was in the ROTC apparently developed a bit of a "thing" for me, of which I was totally unaware. It was junior year and I was more concerned with the SAT's and going to Junior Olympic Nationals than dating. However, the friend that dressed in drag occasionaly had a HUGE crush on Mr. ROTC. Unbeknownst to me he then called all of our mutual friends together and outed me on the spot. I was horrified when I found out, not because I was outed but because I couldn't control the situation. So I did what any well-mannered person would do, I took all my friends out for starbucks and over our latte's and a marlboro light I said....."I'm Gay"........ their response was....."ummm duh, ok can somebody pass the lighter???" so that crisis was averted.

My family I thought would be a tougher nut to crack. My mom and I went out to dinner one night at a nice italian restaurant in bethesda. After having a glass of wine (I'm 17 by the way) I just kind of blurt it out... ummm mom? I think I'm gay. Mom was in mid sip which quickly turned into chug style gulp. But being equipped with a sense of decorum she calmly said....
"ok, well if you're happy that way then fine, however I have three rules for you:"
1: No hot pants (yeah what she doesn't know won't hurt her)
2: Don't wear a feather boa
3: Don't shave your head

My dad was easier when I told him, he said "well are your grades good?" I said yes... he said "Do you want to have children someday?" I said sure why not. he said.... "ok then I don't care"

In college I was on a panel for coming out day to answer questions from inquiring students and I don't think that "dating the captain of the football team in HS" really counts as a tear jerking coming out story......hmmm maybe there IS a reason the gay club at school didn't like me......

9 comments:

aklsdjhfa said...

Why doesn't DC do anything to celebrate this event? I know it's rather meaningless, but in Philly they have a bunch of shit going on the weekend prior.

Any excuse for a party...

Rhinestone Cowgirl said...

It's funny how times change. When I was in HS, all the gays I knew were deep on the DL - there was one guy who ended up trying to kill himself, he was so tormented, and he eventually left school. (I graduated in '96, mind you.) By the time my little sis graduated in '01, people were totally out and open, and quite accepted.

A Unique Alias said...

Glad to hear that everyone in your life was so supportive :-) Well . . . except about the hot pants. What a loss.

Kathryn Is So Over said...

Happy Coming Out Day!! Who cares if your story isn't necessarily a tearjerker? It's your story, and I thank you for sharing it.

Your parents really were great about it though, yeah?

aklsdjhfa said...

My story belongs on Lifetime. As a result, I will be saving said story till I can do what any other reasonable person would do: profit off of my painful family memories.

Dale said...

I think my parents made peace with the gay thing for definite. Now their only concern is for me to settle down with a nice boy from a good family (read: loaded), buy a nice house in potomac close to them and proceed to have grandchildren in whatever way possible.

Dop said...

I equate my coming out with the first time I walked into a gay bar on my own. That was November 15, 1985. Twenty-freaking years ago! I need some kind of party next month. Btw, I was 20 then. At 20 I looked 28. Now at 39 I get guessed at 32 and 33. In 20 years I have only aged 5, apparently. I rock!

Complacent Chase said...

Not all coming out stories are sad. That is a good thing! I mean, your frineds and family didn't judge you...that's awesome! It's good to know that most people are becoming more open-minded about it.
Happy Coming Out Day!

DCSportsChick said...

I echo Chase- that's great that your family and friends were so cool about it.

I think the hot pants comment is the best thing I've heard all year!