Dear Summer, Thank you for imparting me with your warmth and loving glow these past couple of months... I'd like to say it wasn't time for you to leave but I will enjoy walking from my condo to other fabulous locales without my arms stretched out in order to quell the absorption of sweat into my couture. You did however teach me some very valuable lessons and I would be remiss if I didn't give credit where credit is due.
1). Working in retail as a supplementary source of something to do on the weekends is good for only one thing. Discounts. Don't do it for the money cuz it will be marginal, don't do it to make friends, it's going to be mostly pretentious douchebags that work there. Therefore if you decide to work in a retail location pick the one with the best discounts.... mine was 70%..... eat that up b*tches... 98 dollar polo was 29 bucks..... super sweet.
2). Since it's summer the chance that you'll be seen on the arm of someone whom you may not have wanted to be seen with because you had a little drinky poo is very high as more people are outside. I suggest bringing a friend along to act as a filter before stepping out into the dispensaries of alcohol. Although if your friend gets drunk too you're pretty much eff'd.... just try not to make out on the street, that's tacky.
3). Going tubing with a group of friends is the perfect way to while away a lazy sunday. The only things that make it better are putting booze into the mix and perhaps going au naturale....
4). Ray Ban Sunglasses will never be in style.... ever.... again. I don't care if they were the tits in 1992 with the requisite lime green croakie around your neck. Please throw them away or I'm going to stand behind you and softly hum the theme song to Miami Vice and perform the awkward robot dance.
5). As hard as I tried, and for as many edicts and fatwa's that I issue there was still a cornucopia of men that wore Jean shorts, Visors, and sandals that incorporated buckles and more straps than the Leather Rack. Summer please take these heinous articles of clothing with you so that my eyes aren't burned by their blatant lack of taste.
I am so ready for fall, bring on the cardigans and blazers!!!!
2 comments:
I'm over this sweating like Whitney trying to kick!
29 Bucks? for real? Damn sista!
I love the POOL...but kids let's face it, now that we're grown, the allure of summer doesn't have the same milleu as it used to...
Gimme snugglin weather and red wine...Pappa's ready
Fuck that, ray-bans are hella tasteful
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