When is enough.....enough?

So recently, actually because I ran into an ex on tuesday night and for the first time I didn't have an awkward robot dance moment, I just kind of nodded and kept walking, (I think that has a lot to do with the fact that at our last interaction he was wasted and I was sober and he professed his undying and eternal love for me and I told him to get bent). I've been thinking about how my activities reflect my gay age years.

Now gay years are different than straight years and no it's not an age thing its a behavioral thing, also it matters on when you come out that's important as there will be key differences if you're 14 rather than 34. Now I came out when I was 17, I came out loud and I came out Mother effing proud! I would go to Nation wearing a midriff tank top and body glitter and danced on a platform till the wee hours of the morning with nothing fueling me but water and accolades from what came to be my "going out friends." This continued on breaks home from college even though somewhere around 21 I gave up wearing mid riff shirts on a regular basis as I was realizing that such behavior was wicked tacky.

In any event, the attention gained when you're right out of the gates is immediate, at least it was for me. I fit into a very specific genre of gay man and that appeals to a demographic of the gay world, just as chip also fits into another, separate genre. I capitalized on being young, doe eyed, and innocent..... I'm trying, to diminish the emphasis on the doe-eyes/naiveite, but I must admit it's hella difficult when you've been adhereing to a specific formula for years and it's always gotten you results.

However, as I will be wearing something exposing my mid section this halloween + what can only be described as booty shorts the allure of slipping back into what has been described as "geisha mode" is great. However I've come to realize that now as I hold a "degree" and I have a "real job" and "pay my own bills" maybe this type of behavior isn't as attractive as it once was. The only thing that's worse than a newbie gay child that doesn't know how to act is an mature gay person that doesn't know how to act.

So this halloween I will dressed slutacularly and freeze my ass off all over our fair city. However the time is drawing near when I will begin to leave this behavior for the fresh children right out of the gate.... until that time however, b*%ches better move over because I've made this an art form....