Friday, April 21, 2006

Friday..... let the weekend begin!


1). I've been taken out to dinner twice in the past week, and to like actual restaurants, as a result of my post at Snotty Retail Location (SRL). If this trend continues my fridge will contain nothing but mixers, olives, and limes...... oh wait.....

2). Today marks the 80th birthday of Queen Elizabeth II. I've always been a big fan of HRH, she totally called foul on Fergie, and trying to throne-block Camilla was the best play I've seen in ages. Plus that lady can rock a Sunday hat on Saturday like I don't know what. Plus according to valuable sources, her mother only employed homosexual butlers, and was quoted as saying

She also employed a personal staff with many gay persons and once said, after her gin and tonic was continuously delayed by backstairs bickering, "When one of you young queens has finished, can you bring this old Queen a drink?" According to an article in The Observer (10 November 2002), after being advised by a Tory Minister in the 1970s not to employ homosexuals, the Queen Mother observed that without them, "we'd have to go self-service."

anyone who doesn't respect that kind of upbringing should be smacked with a royal diamond encrusted hand. We would not be amused.

3). One of my co-workers at SRL is currently the topic of speculation because all the other mo's are wondering if he's gay or straight. My gaydar is seven flavors of messed up so I don't even try, however I will say that after work he invited me to get a drink with him at the restaurant next door, being the consumate gentleman I am I agreed, plus he's wicked fun. Anyways, apparently the restaurant next door is like his hangout which I'm over because ew, but we got drinks and obviously I got a dirty bombay martini up. What did Hetero Harry get?????? a pomegrante martini.... it was all I could do to say "Ummm lady, anything you wanna tell me?... like maybe you want a hot dog reallll bad?"

4). Around 10:30 last night when I was folding polos, setting up displays, and generally being the gayest gay gay ever in gay life, myself the manager, a couple of my co-workers, which consist of gays and those who admire them, decided to turn our store into a club. So off went the lights, on went beyonce and we turned it out... the store also has this ambient lighting kind of like Halo but better... and at one point I stopped, looked at the wall to wall clothing and I thought to myself "if you added alcohol, this, right now, would be gay heaven."

5). I woke up again this morning to the monkeys, you'd think that'd be wicked annoying but it's really not that bad. Also everytime I hear them I think of the wicked witch of the west, who, btw if anyone notices was much thinner than glinda (better keep off those sugarplums lady), PS I believe the take home message is "evil makes you thin"... but the monkeys in the morning make me think of images of my wielding my unholy army when and where the time is right for my global domination.... obviously.


Taylor said...

#4 reminds me of when I worked at Best Buy in high school. When I closed the store with this big ol' fabulous black boy named Maurice, he would put on Salt n' Pepa "Push It" on the store's big speakers (and you know how loud that can get at BBuy) and get up on the customer service counter and break it down. That's probably my fondest memory from the days when I wore the obnoxiously blue oversized polo shirt with the yellow logo.

RetroDragon said...

"The gays and those who admire them" made me bust out laughing. Well done.

My gaydar is so poor that, after a "straight" boy and I once made out, I was still insisting he was straight. Explains a lot, really.

Anonymous said...

FYI > In ref. to the Queen. It is actually H.M. (Her Majesty) not H.R.H. (Her Royal Highness). The latter is used for princesses.