Wednesday, April 19, 2006

Reverse Racial Profiling...... a study in terror.

Ok So. I don't really consider myself that ethnic, I don't think that I look very asian or exotic or diverge much from your average looking person. I mean honestly, I was raised episcopalian, my cousins have blonde hair and blue eyes, I never played an instrument (the mandatory recorder lessons in the third grade doesn't count). Anyways it never dawns on me that a guy would come up to me because he thought he could live out his fantasy of experiencing a taste of the orient.... the thought alone makes me want to have a Mary Kate Moment and barf everything I've ever eaten up.


Anyways, last night, I got co-erced into joining some ladies at the local watering hole. PS not only didn't I get drunk, I was home and in bed by 10:30. However while at said watering hole a gentleman came over that had taken me out on several dates in the past couple of weeks, someone whom I wasn't really THAT interested in, but wouldn't necessarily mind being friends with. I went over to see him, and he was surrounded by the type of gaysians that make me want to bleach my hair, have reconstructive surgery on my eyes and change my name to Biff. The kind that travels in packs, speak in what appears to be broken english and you know that b*tch got a 750 on the verbal part of the SAT, and wears clothes that have A/X all over them.... blah. I was introduced to the new bf I guess of the gentleman in question.... funnily enough, I had been making fun of this guy ALL night for his horrible choice of day-glo polo striped shirt and ill-fitting jeans, who btw was classy enough to stroke the crotch of the guy that had taken me out while I was standing there facing them and conversing with them. Being the classy lady that I am I said "honey I don't think that's his knee" to which I got a geisha giggle and the gaysian covered his mouth with his hand.... did he NOT realize where his hand had just been? that's just not right.

Anyways apparently it was divulged that they had been dating when the gentleman had taken me out.... something that I am not ok with as I like to think of myself as a lady with a clean reputation. When that piece of news was divulged I gave the two of them my best french smile and said... "It's time for me to go over there now" and left the two of them. Unfortunately that put a damper on the rest of my evening and I excused myself and left forthwith.

I still kinda want to wash myself with all the soap in the world and a steel brush..... ewwwww.


P.S. I met this lady at JR's and let me just say that she is the best that VA has to offer and so much more! ;)

9 comments:

Carrie Broadshoulders said...

Awww. It was great meeting you as well. And agreed...you're as fab as expected and one of the only good things Murrland has given us! I'm looking forward to more drunken encounters at the local watering holes.

Oh and in regards to your story about the guy...ew. I was drunk enough to probably have cussed him...you should have just spun me in his direction and said - let him have it.

Parker Livingston said...

how do you get to bed at 10, 10:30 all the time?

and what is the deal with this carrie broadshoulders nonsens? does this name mean something? and why does that woman whose picture is all over that guy's blog look so much like michael bolton??? is she, like, famous or something?

Dale said...

Carrie: Yeah I wasn't drunk enough to make a scene... just kind of reiterates that men suck.

Parker: well I wouldn't say all the time, but definitely a lot. I dunno about michael bolton on carrie's website, you might want to ask that lady herself.

Carrie Broadshoulders said...

Uh, no she didn't.

If you don't get it, then you don't get it. Sad for you.

DC Cookie said...

Ah! You got to meet her?! I'm glowing with envy...

RetroDragon said...

Dude, that's wrong. I mean, sure, it's JR's, but the crotch-grab is really inappropriate almost everywhere.

Parker Livingston said...

carrie - sad for me? lol. sad, i say, that an adult gay man would be so obsessed with a canceled show about a group of silly women who act like gay teenagers. it's also not "fabulous."

JP said...

Sounds like you dodged a bullet with this one. At least you were the one that he cheated on "dumb yotch" with and not the other way round. I wouldn't go as far as the steel brush, but microderm abrasion might not be a bad idea.
Cheers.

Carrie Broadshoulders said...

eh, i was going to argue, but why bother? if you don't like the blog...don't read it. i'm not here to entertain you. and after reading your blog a bit, it's obvious you're not interested in entertaining me either.