Tuesday, April 04, 2006

Sayonara SUCKAHS!!!!

I would like to offer my farewell...... to the quadrant that I have called the place where I sleep for the past 10 months, otherwise known as the G spot. When I moved to the G spot I was in a HORRIBLE roomate situation. Let me give you a little insight.

I was living in the dirty Vag... yes yes let the taunting begin. I lived on the Arlington/Alexandria border in a 3 bedroom apartment with two girls, one whom I'd known since elementary school, the other was her college roommate. (That was a bad choice). The roommate who will be called White Chocolate, thought that she was of the African American persuasion. She got Vibe and Ebony magazine, only had her tv to BET at all times, and wore oversized tupac shirts, skin tight jeans, and Timberlands to go to the grocery store.... oh and she would tell me on a regular basis that I dressed strange... Friend from elementary school decided she didn't need a job when we moved, and that her employment at a wannabe snotty retail location would be sufficient, she was wrong. So basically she was in a bad mood for the year that we were living there. Combined with the fact that I got the Master bedroom and my own bathroom and you have a recipe for disaster. So I wanted out, I wanted out BAD, I vowed never to deal with drama of the vagina-centric variety anymore and moved in with two straight friends from college.... we've had our ups and downs but it's definitely been preferrable to living with two sexually starved, racially confused, financially arid, (kinda busted) miserable girls whose idea of a rocking friday night was popping in "barbershop" and talking about homies while sipping on Bacardi Ice *Shudder*.

So I moved to SW, which in retrospect was probably not the best choice in life, not that my roomies are that bad or anything but THERE"S NOTHING THERE. Therefore, after a year... I will be bidding her adieu.

I will be saying goodbye to the hooker who lives in the apt. building across the street that I've shared a nicotine treat on more than one occasion with after I'd come home from the gayborhood and she'd just be starting her night (her name is peaches btw), we'd chat, we'd visit... and I'd gently remind her that white pumps before memorial day is a no no *sweet jesus I'll talk to just about anyone won't I?*

I will be saying goodbye to the gay couple in their 50's-60's who live next door and have a dog that looks like it was born shortly following the chernobyl disaster... it's a poodle with almost no hair and these weird devil eyes. I will be saying goodbye to their inexplicable precense on their front steps every time I come home from the gym.

I will be saying goodbye to stuffing 10 bucks in my back pocket before I go out every weekend so I'd have money for the cab home... I'll be hoofing it from now on b*tches!~!


I'm saying hello to being able to walk to the runway (17th st.), living not in BFE, and all the gloriousness that my new digs will entail... WATCH OUT NW!!!!!


Dop said...

Congrats on moving on up. SW would be fine if you were in relationship, but NW is really where its at. You'll feel a hundred times more free. Enjoy!

Dale said...

Dop: THANKS! This lady is moving up in the world! or at least farther north!

Taylor said...

you're going to love living alone, being the lord of your own manor. i think of my place as my "fortress of solitude" (that could use a good scrubbing, I just need to get a grip and do it).

Carrie Broadshoulders said...

Ugh, I'm in NW but to me still too far from everything living down near Chinatown! I can't imagine living in another quadrant! You poor thing. You'd think having lived in Fairfax for 2 years, I wouldn't think SW is so far...but you get spoiled in this city. I'm over cabbing, I will say that.