Ok, So after I got home last night, put in some shake and bake (PS I'm so addicted to shake and bake original flavor it's not even funny) and got changed into my sweats and sat down with a load of clean laundry and was folding it I decided to watch LOTR..... and then it struck me.... maybe it was the 4 hours of sleep I'd gotten the night before, maybe it was the fact that I was busier than a one armed paper hanger on Monday, or maybe it was because it's happened and momma has finally snapped. who's to know.
ANYWAYS so it dawned on me how Lord of the Rings is a good reflection on the gay world at least from this mo's perspective....... let's review shall we?
Elves: Now this one is a no brainer.... hairless, manicured eyebrows, a waist that rivals a pre-pubescent girl and the ability to stay wrinkle free for their entire lives. Plus they're oh so delicate. This would be a charecterization of the most communicated stereotype of the gay male, cuz you know when it's just them around they think they're strong black women.
Dwarves: Lesbians, now not all lesbians but what struck me was the quote "you can't tell the women dwarves from the men due to their long beards" you ever been to a WNBA game? I'm just saying is all.
Men: These would be your Abersnobby and B*tch types, the "I'm 35 and still in a frat, and only wear sleeveless t-shirts because I spend all my free time at the gym" type of guys. They are most likely to use the term "straight acting" and have issues about the "size of their sword."
Hobbits: Twinks, tiny, bright eyed, and all about climbing into bed together. Plus they always look like they've got something to prove.
Yeah I know, I need a new hobby, I didn't get very much sleep because apparently my neighborhood got turned into the vietnam war last night complete with helicopters and search lights.... effing sweet.
9 comments:
yeah, i read where some carjacker fled from the police and into the ZOO ... who flees to the zoo?
ummmm chris: Guten tag!
Taylor: no kidding, butterstick would throw down on those fools!!!!
With all that fur there's no way the hobbits are twinks. Although they have really short lifespans...
So what does that make you?
One reason why LOTR does not relate to gays is because the three movies together last longer than most gay relationships.
Copper: ummm I'd have to go with elf I guess on this one, I'm not hairy enough to be a hobbit, and I'm surely not a a/f cooler than thou guy.
Carrie: but that's where the lesbians come back into play...
Seriously, the Zoo? I don't think hiding in the polar bear den is a good idea. Haven't these criminals seen "Anchorman?"
Plus, to add to your theory, it's the elves who have to bail out the men when they get into trouble, proving just what strong black women they are. And they look good doing it.
you forgot the crotchity old wizzards that slug back manhattans and reminisce about the great golden days of yore at Annies. That and the gollum like sketch that lurks in dark corners of bars waiting to attack his newest precious boy.
Retro: True story... I mean just hearing those monkeys in the morning scares the living poop out of me!! And aint that the truth, always clean.... always.
Scott: HA HA HA HAHAHA, the wizards are totally the old annies crowd that wear the tommy bahama shirts and sling back drinks.
And I think I dated a few gollums.... bleah.... unclean... unclean!!
To back up your little theorem. Elves live like forever. Or at least they look like do anyway. To quote Dolly Parton (the Patron saint of the gay male). "If I see it baggin draggin or saggin, I'm having it plucked tucked or sucked." Yes, that's right it's the "Elven Magic" that saves eveyone's ail'n ass. Elves giveth the world Herbal Botox...I'm just sayin.
Post a Comment