Thursday, May 04, 2006

Who needs Kathy??

Ok so I'm a sucker for D-list celebrities having run across a few in my time... however I'm also equipped with the social graces of a retarded orangutan on lsd so combine the two and you have a healthy combination.... healthy= embarassing.

A couple months ago I met Mr. Christian Campbell of Trick and Neve Campbell fame, and not only did I have a hands fluttering, ohmygod ohmygod ohmygod moment, I had a straight guy who was with me (whom I call thor thunder god for reasons that I won't get into right now but at one point last summer I was sitting on his lap after giving him a lap dance and broke the chair he was sitting on in the process... don't judge me) take a picture of the two of us with my camera phone and then sent said picture which was horrible quality and dark to all my friends. PS CC is totally cute.

Last night after a rousing victory on the kickball field which I can only say should be solely attributed to my cheerleading skills (my actual kickball skills consisted of me fouling out and calling the other team ugly) we were at ye olde watering hole in my neighborhood where apparently another D-list celebrity from the food network was going to be hanging out. Chip was superficially acquainted with this gentleman from when he was a wee lad and went up and was talking to him.... ps that guy totally wanted to have a zillion of Chips babies.... so obviously, not to miss a chance to meet a D-lister... pps my ranking of food network celebs goes Paula, Michael, Giada, and Naked Chef... I hate Rachel Ray with the burning fire of a thousand suns. I went up and was "talking" to him. Talking = staring at the fact that this guy was wicked hot and offering him ciggarettes... which he took.... which means he is in love with me, obviously.

Some people aspire to be great world leaders... I aspire to marry a d-list celebrity and have a table perpetually reserved at the Olive Garden... whatever, I'm being realistic.

15 comments:

Taylor said...

I hate the EVOO 'yotch, too. We're not the only ones:

http://community.livejournal.com/rachael_ray_sux/

i know a couple of people who will be tots jelly that you met dave lieberman. where's your camera phone shot of y'all????

Cornelius said...

OH my god he's so sexy. He cooks for puff daddy!!!

Dale said...

Funniest part of that whole exchange, until people told me who he was I had no clue... in my head he was just "hot guy who's standing over there by Chip"... I'm so uncool

RetroDragon said...

Seriously, Jordan Baker and I were struck dumb at the book signing. We actually talked about the weather. She totally got to put her arm around his waist in the picture, though. I meanwhile almost fainted when he put his hand on my shoulder. We then ran from the store giggling and comparing his autograph. The roll of film in the camera still has 24 exposure, but I'm totes going to develop it anyway just to see his pretty blue eyes...

I'm OK with Rachel...if you don't actually watch the show. If you watch the show, then you want to reach for a bottle of EVOO to smash over her head.

Scott said...

In an earlier life, I actually chefed for an Ambasador's residence. I was having a mid-life crisis early. All this is to say that yea, I could EVOO a lot of shit and put out complete meals in 30 minutes if I had someone stock my one refridgerator and one cabinet with every concevable spice and food product I'd need every day. Biotch please, I don't know who keeps their dried mustard with the balsamic vinegar and morell mushrooms in the same cabinet.

Notwithstanding, I hate the semi-homade cooking woman with her tablescapes even more. That and the fact that everything she produces for a meal is the same color which she picks out to match her short-sleved sweater combo. Hate her.

Apart from that, I had a D-list experience with Tyler Florence once. I'll just leave it at that.

Chris said...

Mmmmm Olive Garden. It really is all about the Tour of Italy. And the unlimited bread sticks and salad.

Parker Livingston said...

oh my god. chip knows dave lieberman and you met him??? what bar was this? is he gay? he supposed to be my husband and everything so that would be awesome if he was. i need to become best friends with chip right now.

Dale said...

Retro: yeah I'd have a million of his babies. He actually asked Chip and I (if I recall correctly) if we wanted to go with him and his buddies to Cap. Hill for late night boozing, we declined.. I'm an idiot.

Scott: no kidding, I want to beat rachel ray until she gives up the use of EVOO, Stoups and Sammies... stupid whore.

Oh and the semi-homemade lady sucks, although I do give her props for getting a show for basically following shake and bake instructions.

Chris: yes maam

Parker: It was at a straight bar in Adams Morgan, yeah we talked for a while or I should say I stared at him while he talked, I got a gay vibe from him but was told no... I still think yes though...

Gary said...

Rachel Ray!

Hate her...Husband loves her...forced to endure her!!!!

Would forget the hubby's name for Tyler!

Yummy! I have a 9-1-1...And it's in his pants!

My Close Celebrity Encounter list included Matt (oh so hot) Battaglia, Margaret Cho, Connie Chung & Hubby Maury (not hot...ewww), RuPaul and some others well below the D-list.

You know they aren't A-List when they not only read, but respond to emails...themselves!

Oh, that girl. said...

When I met JFK, JR, before his demise, I thought I was going to pee my pants. He was all about me, trust me. TO the average joe, schmoe, or mary, you couldn't see it, but I totally read his mind. He wanted some of this in a bad way. Oh and his wife was super bitch!

Cornelius said...

It must be celebrity day...at work, Mr. George Stephanopolous came into my office to ask where some random congresswoman's office was. I told him his wife was "Totally Awesome" on In Living Color. He concurred then took a post it note from my desk and wrote the congresswoman's office # it! I was moist.

Carrie Broadshoulders said...

Ugh...the last "celebrity" I ran into was Chris and Kathleen Matthews in Chinatown. She's actually not bad in person and he's skinnier than on tv, but neither made me moist I assure you.

However I did once meet and have my pic taken with Tracy Scoggins, who played Monica Colby on Dynasty. Call her d list if you want, but she was on Dynasty. That's an A Lister in my book.

Nick said...

For all of you bitches with the hate for Rachel Ray.....SUCK IT!!!!!! She is a gift from god and should be worshiped.

Sandra Lee of Semi-homemade.....hate her, now she is one that I wish would meet her death...ok not really, b/c bitch can mix a drink and that's all I require in a friend.

OBVI Olive Garden, a lady has to aim high

Alan said...

You hate Rachel Ray? And I thought we were getting along so well.

Alas, at least we share the same skill level at kickball.

Stef said...

Dave Lieberman was in my 'hood and I missed him???? Oh, the sadness. He is super hot.

Ray Ray is annoying, but I watch her anyway. I guess she can be entertaining in the "oh, she didn't just say that???" kind of way. But I HATE HATE HATE semi-homemade Sandra Lee and her tablescapes and her coordinated track suits and napkin rings. Bah!