Monday, September 12, 2005

Even the football team couldn't turn me straight....

This past weekend was a cornucopia of sitting, glasses of Yellow tail (cheap AND delicious) and playing with the doggy (chloe) and taking care of some family business.... all the while having LOGO the new gay channel that my parents get but which I don't at my house blaring.... Real World marathon of the gayest episodes? YES PLEASE!!!, P.S. Pedro Zamora could have done SO much better than the guy he exchanged rings with... just saying...

ANYWAYS during the course of the weekend I got a random email on myspace.com from a guy that I went to College with....straight football jock type..... whom I convinced along with one of his teammates and my friend... to take a hip hop dance class with me and then have a dance recital at the end of the class. the message read "(college nickname), dance off...meet me on the street corner...bring it" I laughed till I peed, then I laughed at that. Therefore, this brought back memories of good old college days, when for four years all my friends that were guys were big meathead/jocks/football types and then there was me in my pink popped polo and ribbon belt jeans combo sitting by the sidelines with a marlboro light and the most recent copy of Vanity Fair waving at the guys on the field my tiffanys jewelery glinting for the world to see.

For most of these guys, I was the first Gay person they ever met. I attribute them liking me for the sole reason that I made it perfectly clear that they weren't up to my standards and I would not be trying to get into any of their pants, also..... I could hold my own at the beirut table, funnel a beer like WHOAH, and go shot for shot with the biggest guy on the football team (Whom as I recall I took to the health center and rubbed his back all night because he decided to dance with a friend I like to call everclear)... also I think they were expecting someone to be mousey and quiet and frail and well...yes I'm just about as gay as christmas and I make absolutely no apologies for that, nor was I going to be uncomfortable if somebody made a gay joke/dropped the F bomb (although if someone did drop the F bomb I'd yell at them for a hot second and let it go).

In any event the next four years were full of me showing up to parties with these guys, drinking till I wanted to boot, booting, and then having one of them throw me a beer. Greatest College moments were when I'd get super duber black out drunk and one of them would throw me over their shoulder and take me to bed....freaking awesome... Also, if I WAS dating anyone and they showed up at a party where I was with my straight harem as I came to call them, and the guy wasn't up to snuff in their opinion.... sad times for him....so very very sad times...

Anyways, now were unfortunately scattered across the country doing different things, and I wish I could see them more often, but cheers to them wherever they are and as hard as they tried and as straight as they are.... yup I'm still gayer than ever... although now I know how to get my car out of a snowbank and understand the importance of the BoSox and the Pats (I went to school in Maine so sue me)

Oh yeah funniest exchange of the weekend from my parents as they're leaving for holiday
Mom: honey what do you want us to bring you from Canada?
Me: ummmmmm a mountie?
Mom: I don't know if I can fit one in my bag......

5 comments:

Rhinestone Cowgirl said...

I love the image of you sitting on the sidelines of the football field, reading Vanity Fair... too funny!

I never was a regular undergrad so I have no college football experiences, but I do look back very nostalgically on high school football.... ahh, pheromones in the air... wearing your boyfriend's letterman's jacket... hot chocolate and snuggling under a big blanket! good times.

Dale said...

ha ha ha, I wish my HS football games were as wistful as that.... mine were filled with irate soccer moms cheering their kids on and me and my friends passing around the "water" bottle

Rhinestone Cowgirl said...

Well, my school's team lost 99.9% of the time (I mean, c'mon, with a name like the Broadway Gobblers and a turkey as a team mascot, what else would you expect??), and I've never really cared about the actual sport anyway. The games were aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaall about romantic possibilities.

aklsdjhfa said...

My hs didn't even have a football team! Although it gave me the chance to get rowdy like British hooligans at soccer games...

Dale said...

ha ha ha Chip acts like he doesn't ALWAYS get rowdy like a british hooligan at a soccer game!!! Although I'm not really one to talk...