Tuesday, September 27, 2005

You've got to have friiiieeeends

So recently I've been going through a lot of stuff, stress over grad school, stress at my job (apparently everyone's quitting and now I get to do the job of 2-3 people and get yelled at by all the people that those 2-3 people entail *P.S. no raise.... yeah they suck like a bj with braces), dealing with ex's and the joy's that only they can bring into your life when they feel the need to constantly try to play games with your head.... I dealt with that by telling them to Eff off in no-uncertain terms. However as this time hasn't been the best I've had in recent memories it's actually times like this that make me stop and think.... you know, I'm pretty lucky, I have great friends, a steady job, and I look FABULOUS! However the most important out of all these things is perhaps the friends so I got to thinking on what entails having a REAL friend.... so far I've come up with.

1). Greasy Chinese food and watching Beaches can constitute a productive QT night.

2). They've seen you in ridiculous clothing (I had a weak moment with a Burberry Square cut and matching bucket hat when I was living on the continent....I'm so ashamed) and still allowed you to be seen in public with them

3).They've ever stuck up for you with no gain of their own

4). They will call you out when you're not acting your best and you actually take their comments seriously.

5). When you call THEM out on when they're not operating so smoothly and they take your comments seriously

6). They'll tell you to your face that the guy you're dating/talking to/socializing with, is an ass and you need to not introduce the BGD (Big Gay Drama) into your life, and not wait for the fallout.

7). They'll help you if you don't listen to them and the fallout occurs, and only say "I told you so" once.

8). They've dealt with you when you get embarrassingly drunk.... and still talk to you.

So as bad as life can get at times.... and it can get pretty shitty.... knowing that you have friends around makes it all a little better.

15 comments:

The Boy said...

Alright ladies....I'm ready to make serious arrangements for that happy hour.

Daddy needs a drink.....

Rhinestone Cowgirl said...

Amen to that, Dale.

PS - my word verification word is "bmbqt" - which makes me think of Bum Barbeque. Hee.

Dale said...

the "boy": done and done, you name time and place and I'll saddle on up, after the week I've had I could use a drink too... and it's only tuesday.


RC: ha ha ha ha Bum..... that's like Butt.......

jp said...

All these things are true, but I take exception to #6. When is it appropriate to NOT say anything? When do we as true friends bute our tongues and say.."Well if she wants skank dinner for breakfast lunch and dinner, then that's what she gets". Albeit I know we should say something initially, but after they make the choice to date him anyway, do we shut the EF up? If we don't, we risk sacrifices the freidnship n'est-ce pas?

VP of Dior said...

i agree that good friends are where it's at. i'm having a bit of separation anxiety from my "weekend spouse", and my friends cheered me up with pizza and desperate housewives.


i also agree that you know looking fabulous is the best revenge. i saw a ghost of hookup past two weekends ago and he couldn't stop staring at me and telling me how great i looked. rat bastard.

Dale said...

JP: I must clarify, there's a difference between an "ass" and a "skank" as an ass is and actual jerk and a skank is just kinda ho-ey. Also, in the long run I know I would appreciate honesty coming from someone like your friend than just a fleeting thing with the skank/ass

VP: living well is the best revenge I always say! It also doesn't hurt that the guy in question got black out drunk last summer and came up to me at sadlands and professed his undying love for me!!! what a loser.

Mr. Bartender said...

re #6 - totally agree. There's a difference between the new boyfriend being annoying and the friends not caring to be around him, and the new boyfriend being an ass and going to cause harm. Your true friends know the difference and will tolerate the annoying guys and step in to save you from the assholes.

#8 - god damn, how many times has that been the case for me...

yikes

aklsdjhfa said...

Honesty is always the best policy, but I think it's worth noting that friends also need to develop a certain sense of when disagreement isn't necessary.

Allow me to briefly elaborate. In situations of little consequence, I don't need to know that you think I'm making a bad decision. You don't need to tell me, in more ways then one. Does that make me feel good? No. Does it make you feel good? I would hope not. Is it going to change my behavior? Not if it's (it being the decision in question) something I don't consider to be too important. Therefore, honesty is of critical importance, but don't underestimate the value of knowing when to bite your tongue. Sometimes people have to make small mistakes in order to learn and grow When it comes to friends, we should all want to allow for and encourage such growth.

Don't mistake this as my advocating a completely hands off approach to friendship, but rather serving as a reminder the importance of balance. Afterall, balance and moderation, with anything other than drinking, is always a good thing.

Dale said...

This is true, it's important to know when your opinion should be voiced and when you should just listen, balance and moderation are v. key, sometimes we all need to be reminded of that fact.

JP: I'm not sure which one Tom is.... I'm familiar with several of them through my "going out" friends whom I'm pretty sure have slept with most of the bar staff but I'm all thumbs when it comes to names.... I end up calling them all zach

Miss Penny Lane said...

Chinese food and Beaches. Sigh...I miss my best friend. Someone buy me a ticket to Cincinnati STAT!

jp said...

I appreciate your elaborating on #6. My Best Friend is dating a total drip. He contributes nothing socially and feels compelled to flatline in front of the boob tube instead of partaking in the luncheons, tupperware parties, and bridge games that that rest of us girls worked so hard to coordinate. It just erks all of us. But this is who my bestest gurl is unfortunately in love with, so I guess I'll put up with the oafish bore. Sucks to see him settle though...No what I mean?

Complacent Chase said...

Nothing like good friends that know you better than you know yourself. I can't wait to see my BFF's next month.

DC Cookie said...

Found another good one for you...

Pulled at my heart strings with this one...

DCSportsChick said...

Yeah, especially #8!

Dale said...

Yeah I wanted to add something to #8 involving either booting together or taking care of one or the other when you're sick, I've been there and back with many of my friends!!!