It seems that I attract awkward situations, whether I bring them upon myself with my dazzling wit and extreme social tact or what have you, last night post kickball game was chock-a-block FULL of them.... at least in my opinion.
At one point I was sitting on the couch at the bar and nursing a beer and a girl on the kickball team I play on comes and sits down and starts talking with me, however it was painfully clear that I did not really want some engaging conversation and was more than content to sit and just watch what was going on. What ensued?? Oh that's right, the most awkward exchange of....."so you thinking about grad school?"..... and "so kickball's fun huh?" yeah freaking sweet. I was trying to attract someone's attention to either join in the conversation or spirit me away but my half hearted attempts with me being a space cadet were to no avail and she just kept yammering. PLUS she was a close talker which I don't really enjoy all that much.
Then there was the conversation with the same girl, another straight girl, and a straight guy all debating how much fun it would be if they were gay men and how we had so much fun all the time and how fabulous all gay men were. Now I quite enjoy the lifestyle and the liberties that I take with it in my social interactions, however I'm not necessarily interested in discussing the particulars with a bunch of random people nor am I necessarily interested of having my life put under a microscope, even if it is envied.... it's a little too wild kingdom for me. Also these people obviously haven't been to J.R.'s on a random evening, not exactly a buyers market is it?
The third and perhaps the most awkward conversation of the evening occurred when Chip, I and our friends T + C were talking about the size of a gentlemans "area". Now C is a straight male whom I've known for quite a number of years, and we were talking about people about whom I have that type of infromation, that we both went to HS/played baseball with and how he was so suprised at my commentary. I think I made some sort of joke about knowing his ex-gf so I knew what he was hiding beneath his bvd's and that was good for yet another awkward bomb.... awesome!!! It was one of those situations where it was so awkward it wasn't, just because everyone involved was so frank about the situation... I laughed on the inside.
I decided to be a party pooper and go home after the first bar and curl up with a disney movie and a PB&J sandwich.... sounds like a good wednesday night to me!!!! Plus our kickball team kicked ASS, chip had a home run, I'm pretty sure I'm just on the team for my looks as I didn't make it on base once.... earlier in the evening C recounted the story of how when we were on the same baseball team in the fourth grade and I was in right field..shocker... I made the catch of the game by closing my eyes and sticking out my glove.... the ONLY catch I made all year, no wonder I stuck to aquatic sports....