Friday, November 11, 2005

5 + 5 = 10 (Because 5 Just Ain't Enough)

1) The woman who works in the dockets room at the Department of Commerce hates me. She is not the first person to hate me, but since I'm convinced she's crazy (trust me on this one) and she has the ability to make my job much more difficult than it needs to be, the situation makes me uncomfortable. She talks to the other Commerce employees about me as if I'm not in the room. She will often see me, start laughing out loud, then say to the others, "I'll wait till the customer leaves." Although I'm technically not a customer when I'm just dropping something off.

2) Another development at work: discord among employees as to the quality of McDonald's french fries. I do not mean to offend anyone, but they reek of mediocrity. There is nothing worth going out of one's way for when it comes to McDonald's fries. Burger King fries, as well as Popeye's fries, are FAR superior. I hope this clarification ends any and all speculation or confusion.

3) A friend of mine here at the firm works for a lesbian attorney. This attorney knows who I am (and vice versa) but we never actually say anything to each other. This attorney, through my friend of course, has invited me to Gaylaw's annual awards ceremony in early December. Take one paralegal and a room full of gay attorneys... it could be interesting, but I'm not sure how I feel about going ghostrider. Then again, it might be nice to talk to openly gay attorneys, instead of the creepy closet cases who are married with kids...

4) According to one of my friends, everyone must rent The Notebook and watch the deleted sex scene with Ryan Gosling. It made her "wet."

5) My sister and her friends are not coming to DC this weekend, so the "Gay Terror Alert" of my apartment is being dropped from Code Rainbow (highest level of gayness) to Code Pink (status level without roommate; with roommate is Code Purple). The previously mentioned visit has been postponed till early January.


Dale said...

2). Best fries ever are in Rehomo on the boardwalk, I don't even know the name but they're fried in peanut oil.....yum.

3). Ha ha ha, maybe I'll see you with one of my contestants, lets see if they can last that long. We both know what happened with the last attorney I dated.

4). I think I threw up a little in my mouth.

5).What are all the levels of gayness I believe they should go something like

Brown: no gayness at all, frat boys and beer

Green: someone experimented once, that was it.

Purple: Gays and straights side by side

Pink: Gay but not crazy gay.

Fuschia: a little more fabulous than pink

Glitter: waaay more fabulous, *insert britney remix*

Rainbow: break out the pride banners and the disco ball!!!

P.S. I'm somewhere in between pink and glitter it's unclear where.

Polt said...

Of the local fast food joints, Wendy's has the best fries. At least up here in Nowheresville Western Maryland.

Beach fries in Rehomo...yeah, they rule!

aklsdjhfa said...

Um, are you on crack? Wendy's fries are unequivocally the worst fries and sole holders of the bottom position on the hierarchy of fast food french fries.

Wendy's chicken nuggets, however, are tops.

Polt said...

i'm not on crack that I'm aware of...but then I do live out in Western Maryland, so that may cause the same result.

I haven't had Wendy's fries in DC, I'll take your word for it. But out this way, they got the rest beat. Maybe we use a better grade of oil to fry them in?

Asian Mistress said...

Wait - a deleted sex scene??? should never delete sex.

Washington Cube said...

Ryan Gosling had some hot scenes in The Slaughter Rule as well.

VP of Dior said...

Burger King's fries are tasty. Always crispy. No one likes the sog.