It's not even 11 oclock in the morning and I've already had the most awkward robot dance morning in the history of..... well this week.
1). Ok so I had a meeting at 7:00 am in Bethesda at a government organization. What neither I nor my research group knew was that there would be a suprise delegation from the State Department also at this meeting as an Ambassador in one of the countries that we work in wants to learn more about the research that's being performed. Effing sweet, needless to say we looked like grade A morons. PS I dominated a venti latte at the meeting to the jealousy of all in attendance.
2). As part of the research we perform we ask survey questions to a general population to determine knoweledge of health risks associated with certain behaviors, pretty general stuff. Ok but apparently the research site staff came up with a couple of questions that we had to address in the meeting as they were a bit.... let's say strange.... like...
A). How, other than sex, do you satisfy your desires?
B). How long do you withdraw before you "complete" the sexual act (note: obviously the word in quotations has been changed) Note2: Question B had to be withdrawn because in 20/20 of the men surveyed said they didn't withdraw.
C). I asked what the acronym FSW stood for during the meeting.... yup Female Sex Workers... my response.... a very quiet "oh"
Nervous laughter around a table of professionals? I think so. Insert awkward robot dance.
3). When I returned to my office after stopping by my dealer (Starbucks) and equipped with my gingerbread latte, I went to the lavatory to wash my hands. When I walked in I totally spotted a gay co-worker in his early to mid thirties pulling the skin on his face back a la Joan Rivers and checking himself out in the mirror. When my eyes became bigger than any asians eyes have ever been he turned to me, started to say something, and then just kind of shuffled out the door. Praise Jesus he kept his silence.... I mean really, how much MORE awkward can you get?