Wednesday, November 23, 2005

Wednesday Five..... it's a holiday week so sue me

So I'm stealing a topic from the boy, and listing five random and embarassing facts about me that I think are funny, so I'm not original.....bite me.

1). When I was in the first grade I was in my first fashion show..... I wore an entire outfit that my mother and grandfather and great grandmother had knitted for me. Pants, jacket complete with big brass buttons, and a knit cap. And yet I still knew my marks on the runway and worked that crap like it was my job...... good practice for later on :).

2). The one and only time I was offerred cocaine the conversation went exactly like this

Gentleman: Hey how's it going
Dale: Fine
Gentleman: Would you like some coke?
Dale: Oh no thank you I already have a drink.
* Insert awkward robot dance here*

No joke.

3).My parents made me play little league for 3 seasons. I hated it. I was afraid of the ball (any jokes about balls coming at my face can and will be stricken from the record). My only catch when when I was playing right field was a fly ball directly to me and I had my eyes closed and my arm reached out a la Sandlot fame. BTW I still have the ball.

4). When I was 6 I was visiting my dad at his office..... having to go to the bathroom I ran down the hall and into a meeting that the secretary of my fathers department and while holding my "area" asked the secretary of xxxxx at the time where the potty was. P.S. to this day he calls both myself and my father "buddy"

5). When I was 9 and during my first 200 IM I started out on fire. The track goes Back, Breast, Fly, Free. During my last 25 of Free I heard all the people cheering for me. In true Ethel Merman style I stopped in the middle of my race and started waving to all the people cheering for me who obviously started yelling at me to finish the race. I was too busy pandering to my adoring public..... once an attention whore always an attention whore..


aklsdjhfa said...

Dale, I'm reading this post at 10:10 Tuesday night, yet it is tagged as being posted on Wednesday. Why is that?

VP of Dior said...

balls flying at face....there goes your social life....

Dale said...

Chip... because obviously I've travelled in time and posted from the future...oooooohhhhhhhhh scary.... or it's holiday magic, pick one

VP.... ha hah a

Anonymous said...

in regards to #1, you should check out it's truly the funniest thing I've read in a long time.

Boo-Boo said...

thanks for the thanksgiving email, now i'm missing you and your nutella eating ways. Nick and I are holding it down in NYC. i wouldn't worry about #4, i did that last week..."doctor's office, how may i direct your cawl?"

Kathryn Is So Over said...

You've been called out!

Dop said...

A picture of number 1. Necessary.