It's Friday, it's quarter to seven... I'm at my computer at work.... dull knife, meet my eyeball... hello eyeball! hello knife!! That being taken care of, this week has been FULL of 18 hour days, stalking hot doctors that may or may not be in love with me (gonna hedge on the not side) signing papers... yes yours truly has finally taken the plunge and bought real estate... you may now call me "the dale" and generally trying not to let the man get me down. However I'd like to share five quotes/observations that is indicative of the type of week I've had.
1). "I'm a slut for AIDS"..... a participant in one of the meetings I went to said this and the entire room went silent... buzzkill anyone?? and who said that those in the medical research community weren't socially apt?
2). Hot doctor who I will refer to as silver fox was wearing a turtleneck/suit combination. Now I'm sorry is this the seventies? are you Anchorman Ron Burgundy? no I didn't think so. However I'd probably still do dirty things to him. It's the spring time, it's totally not my fault.
3). White belt and white shoes... I don't care if the emily post rule is outdated and archaic... You. will. not. wear. white before memorial day. It's tacky and so are you.
4). Having a weeklong conference/meeting thing in the same place where you had your HS prom is just about the coolest thing ever in life. Thoughts like "hmmm I danced the N'Sync bye bye bye dance over by where the podium was"... .or "ooh I wouldn't use THAT bathroom, I think XXX got a YYYYY from ZZZZ there" keep running through my head.
5). Bitchiness is in full effect. Annoying co-worker is being uber super annoying and thinking that she's my boss which she definitely isn't. So after being blunt, being up front, I'm down to being mean.
Co-Worker: You better wear green tomorrow or I'm going to pinch you
Me: No you won't, I don't like being touched and that's inappropriate.
Co-worker: Ha ha ha, it's St. Patricks day everybody likes to get pinched.
Me: Well, maybe if your boyfriend of three years whom you STILL don't have a key to his place would pinch YOU more often maybe you wouldn't feel the need to pinch me.
*If she pinches me today I'm going to psychologically destroy her and make her cry. it's my god given right as a homosexual.*
HAPPY ST. PATRICKS DAY EVERYONE!!!
7 comments:
"Still don't have a key to his place" BWHAHAHAHHAHAH!!!!!
OhmiGOD, I wish I could see you in action, Dale, it must be sublime!
glad to hear that you are making it through in one piece.
i'm so relieved that i packed a tie with a green stripe on this trip ... i didn't think about it until i was already out here in cali. i don't want some dork secretary from "the office" trying to be all cutesy and pinch me. now tom brady, that is a different story.
OMG u had me laughing so hard with:
Me: Well, maybe if your boyfriend of three years whom you STILL don't have a key to his place would pinch YOU more often maybe you wouldn't feel the need to pinch me.
You are funny as hell :)
if the bitch does try to pinch you, I can put you in contact with some excellent voodoo practices...yes I'm a southern gay and we use every available option.
PLEASE report back on bitchy co-worker's pinch attempts, should they occur. Make her cry, Dale. Then let us all laugh with you/at her. Thx.
Can I pinch you my asian love?
On the ass of course :)
*If she pinches me today I'm going to psychologically destroy her and make her cry. it's my god given right as a homosexual.*
That's classic. So, did she pinch you? I hope you got to make her cry!
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