So the following conversation that may or may not have happened last night made me think about my general apathy toward my joining a relationship anytime in the near future (that is of course with the exception of my fake, pseudo, and straight boyfriends and you all know who you are) between my mother and myself who has deemed her wine of the month (WOTM) to be this selection.
Mom: So.... not getting any younger huh?
Me: ummm I guess not.
Mom: Thinking about settling down?
Me: *looks around* with who?
Mom: What about that nice lawyer you were dating?
Me: Ummm in November? *thinks to self*(Whom I now use his first name to describe all things awkward)
Mom: Yeah, I'm sure he could have provided well for you?
Me: Are you serious?
Mom: Maybe you should think about it, settling down with a nice man with a good job who can be a good provider, have a family, I'd like grandchildren at some point in the not too distant future.
Me: Mom, it's not 1950!
*It's at this point that I suffer a small stroke and have to walk to the kitchen and pour myself a vodka tonic which ends up being vodka + rocks*
It's a little unnerving to say the least that my parents are so PC with the whole gay thing that they're assuming that I should marry well and provide a rainbow coalition face for the next generation of our family and that my sister will be the one with the "successful career." Let's see her live without her family in 3 different countries, join the circus, and be published in a scientific journal all before the age of 21....... b*tch. (PS my parents are ok with the gay thing but if I brought home a man that was in any way more "ethnic" than I am they'd have a fit... tres strange non?)
I'm not necessarily opposed to settling down and if that came along great. But as I tried to explain to my mother, I was not about to go trolling for men who could be "good providers" for me at the bar at the Ritz. PS totally went to an event there with one of my ex's and some older wealthy gentleman totally tried to pick me up. it was funny.
So my current reign as Dale the virgin Monarch shall remain unscathed.. and no, drunken kissing does not count for those nay-sayers that may or may not have seen me out recently.
I'm not ruling out the possibility of meeting a gentleman that knocks me off my feet, but I'm also not willing to settle. I mean what would everyone say if I just settled for any old shmo?
PS - if last summer has taught me anything, if you want to cuddle while laying on the beach then you should just keep on walking, I'm not trying to tempt fate twice with an awkward arm shaped tan line across my back.
2 comments:
My first BF had to suffer with a hand shaped white print on his back that was surrounded by burn one year when we attended the annual event formerly known as "pride" but which I now refer to as "shame."
Did you tell them about how the homeless guy wanted you to be his bitch? I'm sure that would have settled things. I *heart* this: Mom: So.... not getting any younger huh?.
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