Thursday, July 20, 2006

Friday Five..... FOOOOOD!!!

1). At some point this week, after being at a bar with a group of friends, I left and was escorted home by a gentleman as the mean streets of 18th and Columbia are no place for a 24 year old.... hold your horses a sec..... anyways this gentleman is tall, dark, and handsome, and it was obvious that he would have been amenable to being given a grand tour of my private chambers. However apparently somewhere between the bar and my apt. I became fixated on Peanut Butter toast (Jif obvy) and promptly dismissed the handsome gentleman in lieu of 7 pieces of Peanut Butter Toast... apparently my love for PBT outweighs my wanting to entertain a gentleman....hmmmm.... maybe alcohol had something to do with that decision??

2). When I was 9 my family took me and my sister to DisneyWorld, land of dreams. I may or may not have had a stuffed version of Wicket, and may or may not own both Battle for Endor and Caravan of Courage... don't judge me. ANYWAYS my parents took me to a buffet which had *gasp* SEAFOOD. Now I'm a seafood junkie, I love steamed shrimp with old bay, steamed crabs with old bay, steamed mussels and clams drowning in butter, raw oysters... the list goes on. In any event they had steamed shrimp at this buffet. We were there for 3 hours and in that time my nine year old body ate upwards of 3.5 pounds of shrimp. A waiter actually came over to my parents and said that there was a pool going to see when I'd puke. I didn't puke. I'm awesome. Stupid boy.......

3). I am not a picky eater. I will try and usually inhale anything once. That being said I hate hotdogs, and shut up you b*tchy queens, I can hear you from here. Anyways one night the cook made these icky cylindrical monstrosities for me and my sister for dinner and I put on my "I don't want to and you can't make me" attitude which I've honed to this day, mostly when buying generic. My mom was called and she said I could do anything that I wanted to it but I had to eat it.... starving kids in ethiopia or something..... so what did I do??? that's right, I figured, I like chocolate but I hate hotdogs, so I poured hershey's syrup all over it and ate the entire thing. Needless to say after watching me do that we didn't have hotdogs anymore.

4). In my wee college days I was exposed to the trustafarians and the hippies.... who..... petitioned and won their request to have a vegan bar at the dining hall. I, who enjoy eating the charred flesh of many land mammals, did not find this amusing as the funds that were used for this endeavor were taking much needed money from the purchasing of grade A meat. I then thought up an ingenious way to protest in a delicious manner. Many of these hippies were in my ecology class (it was a pre-req for my major, get off me) so three times a week, I'd saunter in, with a bowl full of bacon and offer it to anyone around me, and then eat it. Take THAT hippies.

5). I'm pretty sure I ate my weight last night in fried jalapeno cheesy things. My body is not in a good place. the outlook for the rest of the weekend aint looking up either as I'll be stuffing it full of pizza, fries, and all the nastiness that the delaware shore has to offer!!

3 comments:

Parker Livingston said...

in regards to #3 . . . "one night the cook made these icky cylindrical monstrosities" who is "the cook" are you karen walker or something?

JP said...

If you're gonna do it, honey. Do it in a binge. Drinking Drugs Food Orgies...Binge BInge Binge...

Dale said...

parker: That was my nickname in college... I liked our cook, her name was jennifer

JP: word darlin.... word