Thursday, July 27, 2006

I want to linger oooooooooo a little longer oooooo I want to linger here with you

Summer.... beach..... lifeguards...... Delaware..... Summer Camp.

from the time I was 9 till I was about 13, myself and one of my friends and I would go to the same summer camp on the Delaware shore, Camp Arrowhead. Yes, my parents sent me to a church camp for WASPY children while they vaca'd across the bay in Rehomo.... get over it. After camp every year I'd join them and all the other families would gasp at my bug bitten body as I scarfed Grotto Pizza and Thrashers Fries like there was no tomorrow on the beach.

However, while I was learning about the Baby Jesus by making God's Eyes with popsicle sticks and being filled with Christ's love through song, I learned valuable life lessons that still hold true today which include:

1). Peeing on dead pine needles make them black.

2). If your mom sends you baggies of delectable chocolate chip cookies, supply and demand automatically applies and you can get at least 5$ for a sandwich bag filled with 4 or 5 cookies... ps mutiply that by two care packages and I made like 60-70 bucks. I rule.

3). Horseshoe crabs while harmless look like aliens that will suck out your brain, however a fun game can be the "how far can you toss the horseshoe crab" game.

4). If you catch your counselor having sex, you can blackmail them into doing all your "chores" for you for the remainder of your stay.... that'll teach that bastard to put me in charge of cleaning the dishes.

5). Necessity will teach you real quick how to, build a toilet, start a fire, start a fire the next morning with no matches, build a table, and prime a water pump.... all things that I still know how to do. I'm a hatchet and a flannel away from being a lumberjack, except for the whole not thing.

6). If someone in your cabin finds a tick on his no no spot and everyone finds out, it is your duty to laugh at that person until you're crying while he's telling you the story of how the female nurse had to go at his wing wang with a pair of pointy forceps to get the whole bug out.

7). Having a "girlfriend" at summer camp meant sitting next to them at the group campfire and maybe during the fireworks..... thank god there was no kissing involved. PS who had a blonde hair blue eyed gf at summercamp that was already starting to "develop"? you guessed it.... I'm a pimp.

4 comments:

JP said...

Oh the days of church camp. It's also the first time a recall smelling the aroma of weed after lights out.
You were a pimp! I always got paired up with the "funny girl". Of course we had a blast and I had no interest in anything but making fun of people with her anyway, but she was not the Captain of the Swedish Ski Team, that's fo sho.

Carrie Broadshoulders said...

Awww...I miss camp. I went to 4-H camp every year for six years. Loved every summer of it. They should start a gay camp for adults so we can all go. God, can you imag?

TOS said...

You mean you were a hatchet and a flannel away from being a lesbian... LOL

I liked Boy Scout camp - of course it was very hard seeing all the hot scouts in their little tight uniforms running around...

And then there were the open showers... ahhh :-)

Dale said...

JP: ha ha ha, it's actually not that glamorour.... her mom and my mom were besties....

Carrie: That's why god invented rehomo darling.... gay camp.

Tos: yeah but I'm not tough enough to be a lesbian. Oh we had open showers, we just never took any.... we were ok with being dirty.