So last night I decided to see some friends with whom I've lost touch with over the past couple of months so we decided to converge over the once proud symbol of gaydom, Hamburger Marys, now a beacon of lesbionica's everywhere, Dakota Cowgirl.
On the way to Mary's I ran into someone who is a friend of a friend and at our last encounter expressed an interest in seeing me on more than just a platonic occasion. I neither confirmed nor denied my interest (I'm kinda ambivalent as he's short) however I also forgot his name. He broke out his blackberry to take my number down and I being the quick thinking mo that I am said, "oh just text me with the way you want me to put your name in my phone" lets see how that one pans out.
Dinner was a fantasmagoria of gorging as always, followed by the sitting and allowing the cow that I had just pushed into my body to digest.
At that point myself and one friend decided to make a night out of it so we started walking to JR's.... in the rain. Now last night I had originally chosen a coiffe of straight hair which for me necessitates a blowdryer and a straightening iron. However, much like the wicked witch of the west, that hairstyle will quickly dissapear with the precense of water thus leaving me with a mound of what I like to call "don king" hair, Chip has seen me on several occasions with this hairstyle and trust me, it aint cute.
So if I was to salvage the night I had to think fast, so I pulled on all my Gay Boy Scout powers and at first the only thing that came to mind was...... "hmmm I wonder if there are gonna be any cute guys out tonight?" Then it hit me, so with friend in tow I went to the CVS on 17th, went to the cosmetics aisle, put some strong hair gel in my hand a walked riiiight on out, yes stealing is wrong, 10 commandments, but whatever so is ruining a perfectly good evening with bad hair, and if god can make it rain on me, he can overlook me trying to deal with it.
We finally make it to JR's, I make a beeline for the bathroom, wet my hair a la Jamie Lee Curtis in True Lies, and proceed to salvage the mess that was my hair. I did a damn good job if I do say so myself. My friend and I then did a little bit of making the rounds, and then proceeded to purchase real estate in the middle of the bar. For some reason I create a bubble around myself at JR's, I attribute it to what I call my icey stare of death look, which I was thankful for last night.
Then we made it over to cobalt for some 80's night action. I was expecting some Tiffany, maybe some Kajagoogoo, what I got was an empty club and a face full of weird. So the friend I was out with I met because he is friends with someone I used to date, I hadn't spoken to this person since May. The club is pretty empty and the only cohesive group of people is the gentleman I used to date and his entourage. I make nice and am polite but as I'm saying pleasantries to these people out of nowhere comes this rando all up in my piece. He starts going on about how good my mascara looks ( I don't wear mascara) and how he liked my cologne (I wasn't wearing any), I thought he was with the group of people I was trying to be polite to so I put up with it. Upon going to another part of the group and asking someone, nobody had any clue who he was..... freaking sweet I just got perved on by a complete rando.
On going upstairs I saw yet more people I had little interest in socializing with and at that point in the evening I was bad at feigning being cordial, so I suggested to my friend that we cab it back, he lives in P. City in the Vag, and my house on Cap. Hill is pseudo on the way. However the gentleman I used to date offered to give us both a ride home, and being economical and lazy, I agreed. Apparently he already knew where I lived as he had been to my neighborhood on several social occasions and had left notes under my windshield wiper that I had never received... ah well I'm not losing any sleep over it. The force trying to draw me into BGD was huge last night but I managed to sidestep the majority of awkwardness with good manners and the most forced smile known to man-kind.
...Fortunately the last 6 months have not been kind to some of the people I was making forced smiles at and it looks like mother nature and father time have force fed them ho ho's and added several laugh lines... *giggle*
3 comments:
I love that you spun through CVS for a little product!!! Who can fault you for that?? Preserving the world's beauty is everyone's duty.
You always could have done it Legend of Billie Jean style, and left an "IOU" note right next to the hair gel. That would have been hot.
It would be funny if someone blogged a piece by going into a CVS or Sephora and preparing for a date by using the products available. I wonder just how far you could get in the process?
I think that's fine....many times they expect the first bottle on the shelf to be used as a free-tester.
It's just the way the world works.
Sometimes I'll open a bag of chips and help myself to a couple as well.....
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