Ok so, for some reason the powers that be have seen fit to condense all of my boy action for 2005 into the holiday season. So along with Contestants 1, 2, and 3 I have now added Contestants 4 and 5 to the roster, I know I know, this only spells trouble for me and the chance of it blowing up in my face is very high but what's the point of living life if I'm gonna go in the slow lane??
So friday night I had a very nice dinner with Contestant number 1 and then we went to a cocktail party where I met several nice doctors, some more lawyers and members of the financial community, a grownup date was definitely had. But not to dissapoint I then had Contestant number one escort me to a kickball party where I subjected him to all my friends who gave an unequivocal thumbs up. I made the mistake of inviting contestant number one home with me, and had a brain fart moment as it was I who had wanted to take things slowly physically. Honestly though, both of my roomates are gone and I didn't want to spend the night in my big house alone, so it wasn't even a sex issue. However not to worry even though I called from the cab to say sorry to Contestant number one, he called me the next morning to schedule the next date and texted me that evening just to make sure I was having a nice saturday..... yeah he's mayor of shmoop town but I'm enjoying what I've seen so far, plus he's a gets a grade of A in the kissing department.
Saturday I spent most of the day doing laundry and being Susie Homemaker. Watched 13 going on 30 about 3 times.... yeah I'm totally Jennifer Garner.... an ps if Mark Ruffalo had had a crush on ME in high school I wouldn't have wasted my time with the piece of trash football captain. Met up with a friend at the metro and traversed to Eastern Market to a party at one of our mutual friends... had a very nice time getting to know all the people that were invited. One of my friends roomates was there and he's this big meat-head jock type who became my besty throughout the rest of the evening.... I'm still confused as to how all the biggest meat-head jocks end up being the guys I get along the best with. hmmmm.
I then went to AdMo and met up with my cousin who is also an ex-collegiate lacrosse player and 6'4". Yeah also meat head jock type, but since he's in medical school I guess the meat head part is a little diluted. We went out to a couple bars in adams morgan and I showed the straight boys how to adequately move your body to the music. In the words of my cousin "his hips seem to move independently of his body, he's going to make a great trophy husband someday" met a nice gentleman at the bar who bought me a delicious martini and contestant number 4 was added.
Sunday morning was spent bumming aorund and indulging in the wonders of HBO and dealing with a sinus headache from hell. I then received an email from a gentleman who had seen me on the street and had tracked me down via friendster and sent me an email wanting to know if he could take me out to dinner... as Thursday is thanksgiving, Wednesday I'm having dinner with the rents at Obelisk, Tuesday I've been invited to dinner by Contestant number 5, Friday I believe I'm having debauchery of the alcohol variety with some fabulous and gorgeous gentlemen, this week should be chock full of glorious excess!!
Sunday evening was spent with Contestant number one being a ball of lazy and having a little kissy face time :)
P.S.: Ok so, I just found out one of my favorite pair of jeans which also creates the illusion that I have a butt has developed a hole on the left butt cheek, now any thoughts on how I should cover said hole or should I just be a big ole ho bag and let the hole exist ;)
P.P.S: next time somebody dares me to hook up with someone just to complete my collection of gay republicans, please oh please powers that be, allow me to have the sense not to hook up with a communications director for a politician that I now see regularly on a national news program as their political consultant. He was a REALLY bad hook up.... I'm talking heinous....
16 comments:
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Okay I get it. It's early and I'm reading your exploits as I mine have become rather tame as of late. That said, Sounds like you've become quite smitten with contestant #1. I'd watch out for the other contestents busting 40's on the side of the curb and f*cking contestant #1's face up, and then what are gonna do, dump him 'cause he's hideous?
At this point, I feel obligated to raise some serious question as to rules of this contest
1)Do the contestants know that there are other contestants?
2) Are there rules?
3) How does one get DQ'd?
4) When does contest end?
5) Is there a boobie prize or a lovely copy of the home version? A lifetime supply of Rice-a-roni, the San Franciso treat perhaps?
School me oh yoda.
For the love of God, please leave the hole in the jeans!
Obetra: wtf, learn how to make coherent words... thanks.
JP:1). God no, I don't plan on keeping more than one around for any substantial period of time so I don't feel the necessity to divulge the status of other contestants.
2). Of course darlin, whomever treats me the best and the least like a vapid piece of meat. Plus flowers, having NEVER received flowers in my life the first one that gives me flowers...and obvy not carnations cuz those are tacky... wins hands down.
3). Being a jerk to my friends or garnering their dissaproval is the first and best way. Generally being a tool will do it too.
4). Until I've been dating one for three weeks, at that point I make a decision about that contestant and whether or not I want to keep him around determines the fates of the others.
5). Ummm I guess the booby prize would be me making the empty gesture of "being friends" and generally flirting with them whenever I see them out and not in the prescense of the winner of the contest.
I'm definitely not quite Yoda, nor as wrinkly, ha ha ha, and I think the wisdom award for this blog would go to Senor Chip...that's where I go for MY advice.
Dop: ha ha ha, ok, however I'm sure exposing the area that should be referred to as my butt isn't exactly the most attractive part of my body.
I would either sew a cute patch on the outside or inside. That or just show your sexy ass!
I was going to say exactly what Min Pin said, except "snarky" instead of "cute."
Patches are reminisicient of street urchins "hey brother could you spare a ciagrette or some change," and that's never been chic. Don't do it and let the hole remain...Just PLEASE wear underwear! Otherwise you just look like BASURA!
wearing underwear with it? cuz pair of tighty whitey's poking through is such a hot look right now? we shall see but personally the thought of bare skin poking through is much more scandalous
Of course not tighty whities...eek! More like a playful patterned undie that draws the eye down to the accentuated area. This could turn out for the best. why are we at work this week? I feel like the kid in the 6th sense..."I see dead people!" It's fun to say that at bars too.
Yeah I don't own any underwear I'd consider "playful"..... I have no idea but I'm pretty sure I'm at work because Cambodia and Thailand don't recognize thanksgiving.... long story...
DAMN! Most I ever juggled was 3, and that's really hard to maintain. I wish you luck, hottie :-)
does the communications director
have the initals JR
J: nope his initials are MR.... and the fact that he had satin sheets makes me want to cry
ahhh..thats a shame I always thought MR was cute...forewarned is forarmed
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