Tuesday, December 20, 2005

2006 the year of the B*&ch!!

2006 is the year of the B*&ch, or more specifically the dog, which means that it's also MY year having been born in said year. There are several things that I would like to accomplish in the coming year, which include and in no particular order.....

1). Deal with the horror that is graduate school. Honestly in my line of work I can't get any type of clout without a graduate/doctorate degree, you'd think a B.S. in molecular bio would be enough for these people, apparently I'm a liar.

2). At some point receive flowers, now this has been on my list for the past couple of years. I have NEVER received flowers from a gentleman caller and believe it is about effing high time that some gentleman take it upon himself to think highly enough of me to get me flowers. beach vaca's? done. shiny sparkly things? done. Hell I even got thrown over the shoulder of a guy I was dating at the four seasons and carried out of there....but flowers? I got nothing.

3). In the wake of Narnia, I would like to re-read the C.S. lewis chronicles... I loved them when I was little and it's time to recapture my youth.

4). As I had this talk with Chip Sunday night, I will be more proactive with going up and talking to gentleman callers instead of relying on the furtive bedroom eyes. Although in my defense I'll talk to pretty much anyone after the third drink, as was evident at JR's/ GL the last time I was there. Plus the furtive bedroom eyes serve me well.

5). Try not to have boy ADD this year, it's not that there are that many of them but I lose interest SOOOOOO fast... there has got to be man ritalin or something, and Stoli isn't working as well as I'd hoped.

6). Debt free... blah blah blah, responsibility blah blah blah.

7). Continue in my quest to not look like a somalian hunger victim... I'm gonna continue with my plan of gym + eat lots of food, primarily protein.... lets see what happens! (ps I'm wicked excited that my ribcage is no longer visible!!!!)

11 comments:

RetroDragon said...

Maybe if you switch to Absolut...

(My "furtive bedroom eyes" can often be confused with "insane stalker glares," so I have to rely on well-trained wingmen.)

Dale said...

I think I'd have to switch to something top shelf to have any effect.

ha ha ha, yes I think that Chip and I do pretty well for each other as our respective wingmen, but well trained wingmen is an essential to any successful gay social life.

aklsdjhfa said...

1) Do they know you have a PhD in sass?

4) Keep in mind the results this approach has gotten me...

6) Hahahahahahahaha

7) Allow me to express my elation for both you and your ribs.

Dop said...

I was born the year of the horse. Gleen from that what you may. Trouble gaining weight? Poor thing. I used to gain 5 pounds just walking into JR's simply because there's a grill behind the bar. Be sure your protein shakes are high in carbs, and drink more soda. Just a tip.

Rhinestone Cowgirl said...

Everyone should get flowers at some point. Maybe you should be sure to tell your boyz something like, "Getting flowers sure makes me hot... I always put out for a nice bouquet."

Dale said...

Chip

1) I think we turned our theses in for Sass at the same time, wasn't yours on Kelly Clarkson?

4) Meh, whatever, as we BOTH know I have little if any shame... two words.... pole dance...

6) Yeah totally said that AS I was looking for designer cell phone cases for the new phone that I paid full retail for.

7) you, me and the entire rehomo going community will be elated that I don't look like I washed up from a war torn country this summer.

Dop: Well I guess then I guess I can lay to rest all the conflicting rumors I've been hearing :) ha ha jk.

Can't do the shakes, they make me not hungry so I end up losing weight, already tried it....Honestly I need to do a diet of like beer and chips, but I don't really like either. oh and I'm not a soda fan, wasn't allowed to have it growing up so I never developed a taste for it.

Brian said...

I agree with DOP and have to post a similar comment. I gain 5 pounds in my ass just thinking about chocolate... I'll stop here so my bitterness doesn't really come through. =)

Sherpa said...

i read this...and thought i was reading something i would write..except for the furtive bedroom eyes.

Keith said...

another 'mo bitter about his weight :) try eating till you're full, then eat some more. maybe find some chef's to date...i'm sure you'll never want to stop eating :)

Dale said...

been there done that... hell I dated a guy that worked at Godiva in college and I'd eat all the chocolate covered strawberries he'd bring home every night (not to mention the frequent visits to him while he was at work to eat even more) and still nothing.

And I'm honestly not bitter, I'd just like to be able to buy regular jeans for once.

Complacent Chase said...

Dale, if you need some extra weight...I will am MORE than willing to give you some of mine! ha ha