Thursday, December 01, 2005


So last night at the blogger happy hour was def fun. I obvy have to excuse myself for going too hard too fast too quick and having to go home before the evening even got into double digitz.

Anyways my last post was a bit somber so to lighten up the day I would like to share a convo that myself and one of my Hetero Homies ( I abhor the use of the word F*g and refuse to use any term that utilizes it therefore the dissuse of F*g stag or H*g)

Homie: Question, Are Santa's Elves the same Elves who are the Keebler Elves? And after making toys they moonlight by baking cookies and crackers?

Dale: Don't you think that the need would require elves to only be on one task?

Homie: I don't agree with your logic. Based on countless anecdotes elves don't appear to need sleep so, they could really hold 5 or 6 jobs.

Dale: Well right, but if christmas lists don't come out till December that makes toy making a 24/7 thing from Dec 1-24.

Homie: Also, the Keebler Christmas products are just a subsidiary of Santas business, and possibly there may be a rush on toys but they've been at this for hundreds of years and have likely developed models to accurately anticipate the desired toys.

Dale: Then are the Keebler elves only part time?

Homie: yup, cuz Keebler is only small time compared to the entirety of Santa's operation

Dale: ohhhhh ok. How about the Rice Krispie elves?

Homie: They were obviously the pre-madonnas that were too cool for Santa, mainly because the y were lazy gluttons so Santa fired them.

Homie: and then they took a job on the runway, and then had a failed TV show

Dale: Well I mean they have to pay for their coke habit, that aint sugar they're putting on their cereal.

Homie: their TV show was called "American elves in England."

Dale: I think I saw an episode. THe characters really lacked depth, kind of ilke the short lived "Models Inc."

Homie: Especially since they didn't even have any hot chicks.

Dale: So we'eve established that the keebler elves are part time elves that moonlight in the cookie business and that the rice krispie elves are ex toy makers that got into modeling, let fame go to their heads with a failed sitcom and now have to support themselves pushing cereal to maintain their coke habit?

Homie: nailed it, me make a good team clarifying the conspiracy theory.

*Obviously our next goal is to figure out who REALLY shot JR*


VP of Dior said...

Cocaine is a helluva drug!

Great meeting you last night.

Katinka said...

OMG that was the best story I've heard all day!!! Even better than some dude claiming to wank to my friendster pic.

Sharkbait said...

I am sorry I missed you last night.

Glad you had fun!!

DCSportsChick said...

I definitely have to make it to the next HH, I so want to meet you! Too funny!

Washington Cube said...

Elves are mythical creatures of Germanic mythology which survived in northern European folklore. Originally a race of minor gods of nature and fertility, elves are often pictured as youthful-seeming men and women of great beauty living in forests and other natural places, underground, or in wells and springs. They have been portrayed to be long-lived or immortal and they have magical powers attributed to them.

Nature? Great Beauty? Long-lived? Guess I won't be seeing them at 2 a.m. stumbling down U Street, bent over double and yelling TAX EEE!!!