Thursday, December 08, 2005

You look so good with blond hair and black roots its like not even funny

Ok so.... I was thinking about something that Sean said the other day:

In high school, there is always the cool kids’ group. If you were any flavor of geeky protoqueer–bandfag, artfag, neo-hippie stoner, A/V geek, athletic team manager, ad nauseum–you pretended to think that the cool kids were all stupidhead losers. If you were any flavor of geeky protoqueer–and let’s not shit ourselves, that pretty much means all of us, even if you were cool–you did your damndest to convince yourself that you didn’t secretly want to be considered part of their clique.

And it obviously got me to thinking about This Movie, WHICH I own by the way and watch on a regular basis. Especially this quote;
Michelle: You know, I didn't realize we didn't have such a great time in HS till you told me so.

I guess I wasn't friends with the REALLY popular kids, you know, the kids that made mean girls look like nuns on a sunday, but honestly I know what they're all up to today and lets review...... Golf Instructor, Gas station attendant/druggie burnout, Hooters employee, stagnant pseudo minor league ball player, still in college, just started college, just started community college, had a nervous breakdown and is now living at home, just had second baby.

MMMMMMMMM yum, how sweet justice is.

Anyways my HS experience was pretty fun........

Freshman year: Straight out of a very different private school (think society of friends) I came back to publich HS, Big ole science geek.... did the whole honors thing pretty much kept to myself.... till swim season... big ole diving freak. I did gymnastics since I was 2, had a brief stint in the circus when I was 11 and had been diving 4 hours a day 6 days a week since I was 12. Since I wasn't that bad I made all of my friends on the swim team which pretty much set me up for the rest of my HS experience. We ended up winning states that year by 2 points.... (funniest part about that is I didn't go to the celebratory party because I was afraid there'd be alcohol there.... little did I know the people that were hosting it were mormon....D'OH). Spent the last part of the year and the entire summer in France as an exchange student...... that experience deserves it's OWN post "oooh la la"

Sophomore Year: Ended the first gay "relationship" that I'd been harboring since 8th grade.... yeah the captain of the football team and I had been "socializing" till he thought that he was "over this stage" HA HA HA HA HA, and basically told me to eff off... meh I was ok with that. Hosted a french exchange student who thought that our raw bacon was prosciutto and I woke up saturday morning to find him in the kitchen in his BVD's eating raw bacon..... I nearly vommed. We won states again... this time we thought it was a good idea to all bleach our hair so everyone would know who we were (yeah like they didn't know anyways, we all wore our wind suits to school every day anyways...ps totally still have mine)

Junior Year: This was my oopsy year. I discovered alcohol, or more accurately I discovered that doing 8 shots of Jose Cuervo on an empty stomach and then eating pork fried rice is a recipe for disaster. I "accidentally" almost got the entire swim team suspended after I had a party at my house and "accidentally" 6 handles of vodka showed up and people were throwing more than the exorcist.... yeah I was grounded for a month for that one. I didn't go to states that year.... I had really bad knee problems. I came out of the closet publically this year and was only called the F bomb once, by someone younger than me in the hall, then I stopped....turned around and yelled..."I'm sorry what did you say? Yes I'm talking to you XXXX XXXX, if you have something you need to say to me I suggest you do it." Yeah most of the time I'm demure and reserved like a flower, but get me pissed off and you'll HEAR what's on my mind. Spent the last part of the year and the summer in Japan as an exchange student again.... And we all know how that turned out....

Senior Year: Got into my New England preppy elite college of choice early decision so I was done by Thanksgiving. Owned my gayness a go go and pretty much dared anyone to do anything about it..... it became a very persistent rumor that I'd hooked up with the captain of the football team and apparently bugged him to the point that he wrote me a letter threatening my life. Apparently he thought I wouldn't recognize his handwriting...... so I wrote him a letter on a nice card back that read... "Dear XXXX, please don't threaten me, not only will everyone believe me if I tell them but I will give this letter to your parents and I know your mother will recognize your handwriting, don't threaten someone who has this kind of information on you... I thought you were smarter than that." (p.s. I should really go into politics). Swim team funness all around, got all american.... and that was HS I guess.

I don't think I was really ever considered "popular" by any stretch of the imagination but I definitely wasn't ever looked down upon... and if I was I didn't realize it so really.... ignorance may just be bliss.

5 comments:

Kathryn Is So Over said...

Dale, you're on a creative roll!! Guess whose blog is having the Best Week Ever??

Dudley said...

Screw the cool kids group, honaaaaay, you've always been with me in the Executive Diva Club.

JP said...

Being out in highschool is such a brave move. That just wasn't an option where was. They may have been more popular, but your balls were SOOOOO much bigger.

Dale said...

Dudley... True story... I will let the chronicling of our fateful meeting/ holding high court at cobalt those many years ago up to you darlin!!!!

JP: ha ha ha thanks, as has been said by many beforem "nobody keeps baby in the corner" plus I have way too much of an opinion of myself to let some troglodyte meathead think he's superior.

Complacent Chase said...

I think those kids who "peak" in high school only have their high school memories to justify the rest of their lives.
The rest of us who enjoyed high school but didn't "peak" have better lives because we have so much more to look forward to as life progresses.

(does that make sense?)