Thursday, December 22, 2005

The Closing of the year....

So I'm not going to work tomorrow... I've got beaucoup vaca time that I'm going to be using, plus tonight is round one of holiday cheer with Waspy christmas... Quote from mom on the phone last night. "I'm making peppermint-tinis, you won't be able to stand after 3 of those!!"..... and that's a plus at my house apparently. (At the most recent count for 8 people we have a case of wine, 2 bottles of vodka, a pitcher of peppermint-tinis[which I'm still not sure about] and a case of beer, welcome to dinner parties at my parentals house)

ps......YAY CHIP FOR GETTING A GREAT CHRISTMAS PRESENT EARLY...... wanna be my sugar daddy Mr. future lawyer man???? (All jokes about Chips legal briefs please insert here)

Also convo with the kid sister last night:
Sis: on your way home from the gym can you pick me up a box of the franz?
Dale: That stuff is wicked hein..... ok fine what flavor?
Sis: ummmmmm pink, I'm just going to end up sitting in bed with the bladder and a straw and pink matches my sheets
Dale: oh (kid sister), it's not Pink, it's sunset blush.... get it right. and when I get home you better move over and have a glass ready for me, were watching Anchorman right?
Sis: Obvy, you know, you're like a tiny buddha covered in hair.....

Anyways so it's Thursday, I'm avoiding doing anything productive, so here are some random thoughts.......

1). I waited and waited and waited, as per the usual, but I'm officially opening the application process for New Years Eve guy 2k5/2k6. Qualifications include
  1. Photogenic in case of friends with cameras or press.
  2. bad kissers (this includes face lickers and biters and dead fish) need not apply
  3. Non-english speakers are actually ok if you speak any of the following, German, French, Japanese, or Farsi... Two years ago I was at Nation (I know I know, Klassy) and I ended up kissing a gentleman by the name of Faisal who was from Iran, spoke no english, and I not only convinced him I was part middle eastern, but had a drunken persian conversation which apparently made me that much more adorable...
  4. Ability to keep up with Dale, Chip who will have found a gentleman caller by that point, and whomever else is around.... please note, we can hang with the big dogs, we may be petite but that just makes us a double threat. (I've definitely gone shot for shot with a bunch of marines once...... guess who won?? he he, they can kill a man with their pinky but can't keep up with little ole me :))

Any and all applicants must apply in person as I have to stand next to you to gauge compatability and judge on conversation skill... does that mean I'll be out pretty much every night next week??? perhaps.......

2). I have everything I want for christmas, my family is crazy but awesome. This year has been the year of some really crappy things, HOWEVER, I've also made some of the best friends that I will ever have, this would include my sistah soul Chip, T-dog and A-game.... many a night has been spent with the Fearsome Foursome out on the town/ out on the couch with a bladder of wine having spoon session 2k5.

3). My boss emailed me as soon as I got in this morning because stuff she was supposed to get done a year ago wasn't done and now her ass is in the blender and she's yelling at me to do said stuff..... I'm sorry (Boss) that you're incompetent but yelling at me isn't going to make things happen ANY faster (instead of doing what she wanted me to do I'm blogging, how passive aggressive am I?)...... please go away and I hope you fall ass first onto a d*ldo that's been rolled in broken glass. Thank you and have a nice day.

4). Apparently according to Ms. Kathryn, I'm an easy person to recognize as she described me, to someone whom I don't think I've ever met, at a party and they knew who I was. Honestly, I'm not that scary, even though I may look to the contrary (it's my third eye that scares people isn't it?) Please come up and say hi if you see me out, unless I'm mucho drunko, then I won't remember you.

5). I am unequivocally not ashamed that I not only own this movie and this movie, but I watched them BOTH last night from the comfort of the G-spot cuddled up nice and tight with a Tanq and Tonic and billy my bf substitute.... his full name is Billy the Body Pillow. ps totally had a stuffed ewok growing up, they always reminded me of bad ass Popples

Happy holidays everyone and may the good lord bless you with gifts of top shelf vodka and spill proof martini glasses!!!!!!!

9 comments:

DCSportsChick said...

"a tiny buddha covered in hair"

LMAO!

aklsdjhfa said...

Popples were my sh*t! I've actually searched ebay for them...

Kathryn Is So Over said...

My sister had a popple. Good times.

CONGRATULATIONS, CHIP!

Dale said...

Popples are obvy the coolest toy ever.... obviously. Who had the pink one whose name is PARTY??? yup this guy.

Kathryn Is So Over said...

Y'all, they're on ebay.

Dudley said...

Well done Chip!!! :-)

Taylor said...

The sis had them. The greatest thing about having a sister six years younger than me was the fact that i got to play with all of her chicky-chick toys (Rainbow Brite, Fashion Star Fillies, My Little Pony, Popples, Wuzzles, etc.) and still maintain my own (Transformers, He-Man, Snorks, etc.).

Dale said...

Kathryn.... is it wrong that I still know where mine is, attic, parents house, third garbage bag on the right?

Taylor: and can we forget about light bright? Jem (she's truly outrageous)?, Strawberry Shortcake?, and my favorite thundercats?? oh I was SOO Cheetarah.

Asian Mistress said...

Peppermint martinis, popples, and pink Franz...God I love you.