Thursday, December 15, 2005

Ho Ho Homos......

So unfortunately due to being on the stoop at deaths door, Senor Chip could again not make the festivities for La fete de Noel a Cobalt last night. HOWEVER, I did manage to coerce the hermetic young man to join me at my favorite sushi restaurant where reverse racism is rampant and I looooooooooooooove it.

After gorge fest I traipsed on over to the Cobalt Christmas Party where I learned that an open bar isn't necessarily a great idea..... after about 6 or 7 tanq and tonics and one dirty martini.

As hard as I try to be a class act, I just always seem to bungle it up.. and last night was absolutely not an exception.

Awkward conversation with a girl that took the message substance abuse to the next level. No kidding she saw me enjoying a nicotine treat and she came up to me and said: "OhmygodcanIgiveyouadollarforaciggarette?Myboyfrienddoesn'twantmetohaveonebutwhocaresIwantoneandIwillpayyou"
Imagine that but at super speed and with blonde hair and eyes all types of dilated.

As a result of my recent sickness plus G/I issues I've been having as of late I committed a hate crime against the toilet at Cobalt.... oopsy.

A cute guy who apparently has a bf (silent tear) came up to me while I was enjoying the wonders of an open bar with these fabulous ladies and said, "So, no rendition of Dolly Parton tonight huh?" Yeah my jaw hit the floor and I responded with, "Oh my GAWD (gone with the gin was in full effect) puhhhlease drink enough to erase that from your memory!!"

I did however manage to come up with several new crushes for myself, including a certain silver fox that is reminiscent of anderson cooper, if anderson cooper was 6'5" and built like a brick sh*t house. And a few others that I will keep secret (keep it secret, keep it safe) except I do remember announcing to at least this lady, that I would have a few of the bartenders bastard love children.

After the open bar ended we decided to peace the eff out and headed over to McDonalds for some late night grease loving..... and then on to JR's where another round of drinks were had and it looks like the christmas section at target has thrown up all over the inside.

When I got home I inhaled some more food (Drunk Munchies) and am not at work with el hangover from hell...... god bless you aleve and a gingerbread latte, you are my savior.


RetroDragon said...

I need to get a grip on my obsession with bartenders (a few of the Cobalt ones in particular). It never ends well, but it always ends with me drunker than I meant to be.

Taylor said...

THANK YOU ... I also think that juniors went WAY overboard with the decorations this year. It's like daylight upstairs by all the lights! And the wooden reindeer? Come on, just get one of those blow-up snow globe things for the front lawn and be done with it!!!