Allright so all I have to say is TGIF... I have had a few DC GAYS OF OUR LIVES MOMENTS recently and it being friday I'll share a smattering.
1). On my drive to work this morning, leaving what is definitely a gay dominated neighborhood in SW, I pulled up behind a car that had the bumper sticker "Marriage = (picture of stick figure man) + (picture of a stick figure woman)." I, having just had my first sip of glorious french roast coffee was NOT going to let this small minded mongoloid ruin my otherwise enjoyable drive into work. What was my response?? Wait until it was green go up beside him and get to the next light which was red... turn to him.... and start blowing kisses and making other rude gestures... he may or may not have almost hit a pedestrian in response. I swear, come into my city with that mess?? B*tch please.
2). While catching up with a friend I haven't spoken to in a while last night, we were discussing dating and boys etc. And I asked him whom he was dating, and we were talking about the last guy and I asked...
Dale: So where did XXXX work?
Friend: He worked for the Department of Transportation
Friend: yeah I know.... don't even get me started
I don't have anything against the D.O.T. I just find it hilarious that in the lunchroom that is the Executive Cabinet, that there are clear cut lines on who gets to sit at the cool kids table (State, Defense, Intelligence, Justice), who's pretty much friends with everybody (Education, Labor, Commerce, Treasury) and then those with the pocket protectors getting excited over the extra credit they've already done for their advanced Calc classes (Energy, Transportation, Interior, Agriculture)
3). Also on my drive this morning, while still enjoying my french press goodness I was going through random stations in the loaner car, which I'm still not comfortable driving. As I was going through I hear a little poppy tune, so I'm jamming..... I'm jamming.... all of a sudden the phrase "and we raise our prayers up to you oh lord" comes through and I almost cause a major accident on the GW pkwy as I freak out that I had been blaring *gasp* CHRISTIAN ROCK for the better part of 5 minutes. I have the suspicion that the Bourney's/ Vangeys are trying to take over DC. It was just WAAAAYYYY too early in the morning for me to be filled with Christs love. the only man I wanted inside of me at that moment was Juan Valdez and I had taken care of that already.
4). Last night I spent a good 20 minutes chastizing this gentleman whom is applying for a position for the clandestine role that is gentleman caller about how he was wrong for, when moving up to the DC area, to choose to live in Vag as opposed to the Delectable District or Marvelous Maryland. I'm just suprised that the gentleman gave in as quickly as he did.... it's my powers of persuasion people... plus the undeniable fact that the Vag is icky.
5). I find it hilarious that, every time I get off at the Gallery Place/ Chinatown metro stop and I see a tourist, they give me this knowing look like oh of course this is where I get off... like I'm going to now run off to my great uncles acupuncture shop and practice my piano/violin while doing complex calculus. I just want to walk up to these people and say.... I'm not chinese, I was born in Baltimore, stop looking at me like I'm about to start spouting confucius and hong kong fuey somebody.... sheesh.
****I'm sorry I just had to share this update... it's too effing good. This is literally a text message from someone whose number I didn't recognize but turned out to be a co-worker that I had drunkenly given my number to one evening at Cobalt****
"Today is national Good Looking day. Send this message to anyone you know who is good looking. Don't send it back to me. I've had hundreds of them."
I'm sorry, but is that normal friday work behavior????
Oh and to all my friends who are wondering "why didn't Dale send me that txt message as I am obviously good looking" yes all my friends are capable of making men swoon and women jealous but I don't participate in the chain-letter behavior. sorry... just don't.