Thanks to Beaverhausen, my goal for the month is to be the new voice of Metro. Although WMATA has its own script, I would suggest the following:
"Check yo' self fool, these doors are closin'!"
"Back up, b*tch! Another train'll be here in a hot minute."
"Oh my god Becky, look at her butt it is so big, the doors can't close! Please step away from the doors."
"This ain't the village whore, everyone does not get a ride. Doors closing."
"Drop it like it's hot. Even a bag, suitcase, or purse can prevent the doors from closing."
"Whatcha gon' do with all that junk, all that junk inside yo' trunk? Whatever you do, please do not block the doors."
"I don't think you're ready for this jelly. Ready or not, doors closing."
How's that for "a fresh voice that will make rail riders take notice?"