So I wasn't around for MAL weekend, after the one time I waltzed into the eagle at the bequest of a friend (we had eaten dinner at Marrakesh which is like next door) and had rolled in in my nice jeans, pink polo and several accents of the t&co. variety..... I didn't so much fit in as stick out like a black man at a klan rally with all the guys walking around JUST in their jockstraps....... as was the bartender.... I kept checking my drink for a curly present, cuz that's just not kosher.
ANYWAYS.... I was in the wilds of NH for the weekend with about 20 people at my friend T's parents ski house. Now I can ski, however I don't, knee problems, hip problems, ankle problems, shoulder problems, back problems, 10 years of gymnastics, 10 years of diving.... you get the idea. Anyways since the weather was mucho crapola, most of the people also stayed in, and that's where the drunken insanity ensued...... P.S. I was the only mo' in a group of what could be categorized as educated meatheads.
Things that may or may not have happened include:
Me "falling asleep" with a bottle of Chardonnay and having male genitalia drawn on my face and my eyebrows filled in with a permanent marker.... what's the first thing I notice in the mirror?? that's right "OH MY GOD, You people drew a UNIBROW on me???
Waking up Sunday morning in a 4 way spoon with two of my friends (girls) and one of my straight boyfriends (guy) who, being the most awkward person in the entire world decides to announce his "morning enthusiasm" to all of the people in the room..... so what did I do? I named his "morning enthusiasm"..... it is now called the dward, after one of the guys I used to date who was kind of a D*ck anyways.
Having el random friend of awkward straight boyfriend tell me at 3 in the morning that he has thought about "experimenting"...... and me thinking to myself... what am I? an effing training wheels??? but instead awkwardly pretending like I was already asleep. *insert awkward robot dance*
I may or may not have been talked into doing this on several occasions..... and you people didn't believe I was a circus freak:
I may or may not have taken a spill down a flight of stairs that, now, if I go to shirtless thursdays and take off my shirt will look like some big leather daddy tossed me around like a rag doll instead of me taking on a flight of stairs and being dominated by said flight..... ow.
Remember my goal to not have any hard alcohol??? yeah that's gone straight to hell.... what was I thinking? the allure of vodka and gin are just too strong for this lady.