Friday, January 20, 2006

Like..... I just don't get it....

As I am le roi de random I'd like to share with y'all 5 things that I just don't really understand and lets see if someone can explain them....

1). Why Gas stations sell ciggarettes/lighters. Now I'm not against the selling of tobacco and tobacco products at all, however you'd think there'd be some sort of law against selling a product that in theory could blow everyone sky high if some moron decided to light up while filling up....... and don't pretend like you haven't seen one of those movies where the guy either throws a match or a lighter or something into a stream of gas and everyone gets fried like chicken on sunday!.

2). Why the Republican's "color" is red. now if you're pale red makes you seem even pastier and if you're really dark it makes you seem darker. I don't think that there are too many republicans in that middle skin tone range (light bronze to mid olive) that a bright red would accentuate their charecteristics. The Dem's are OBVY the party of the majority of the gays as blue tends to accentuate without overpowering most skin tones while tending to match many shades of eyes and hair. Plus more people have other clothing that matches with blue than with red. Just sayin.......

3). Why country music stars, for as "straight" as they pretend to be, at least for me, come across as the stereotypical gay male fantasy down to their cut-off tshirts straight from Abersnobby and B*tch (PS don't get me started on A&F as the only thing I can find there that would fit me would be the t-shirts and I mean what store makes jeans that their smallest size is a 32x30? and their jeans run large... currently I'm a 28x34 and the only stores that I can find jeans in my size are Lucky, Diesel, and Zara) and their tight jeans which lets you see everything but their religion!!!.... PPS, I would do naughty things with Kenny Chesney (marriage to Renee OBVIOUSLY a ploy to make me jealous, Keith Urban who is obviously gay with that hair (Dating the vampire otherwise known as Nicole Kidman and coming to DC OBVIOUSLY to make me jealous) and Tim McGraw (Married to Faith Hill OBVIOUSLY to....... nevermind they're just too pretty together, he gets a free pass), and of course my number one crush.... Brad Paisley *fans self* "is it warm in here???"

4). My fascination/obsession with the Golden Girls.... I have NEVER gotten tired of that show since I started watching it with my grandmother when I was about 8 or 9, I can pretty much recite every punch line and know every episode from random quotes (don't you judge me!!!!!) PS I'm pretty sure I'm a Rose/Blanche combo (that's right, don't pretend like you haven't thought about it too)

5). How I can justify spending multiple hundreds of dollars on clothes but I get all coupon-y at the Teets/Safeways of the world.... ps how much of a loser am I that I plan my grocery buying schedule around the circular at the various food distribution establishments of the greater DC area.... it's official... I've turned into a soccer mom.


Capt. Jack Sparrow said...

I'm not a huge country fan, but I've been considering buying a Keith Urban CD just to give support to a guy who's bringing a bit of the rainbow to the country world. He's a gay spokesperson--he just doesn't realize it yet. I think my previous statement falls under what homophobes call "recuiting." I call it truth.

Dop said...

1) Job risk I guess - why do gun shops also sell bullets?

2) A lighter shade of red is pink - which is really more democrat than republican right?

3) Two words: Billy Currington!

4) I doubt anyone knows as much GG trivia as I. The Bartender should back me up on this.

5) I am the opposite - full price food, half price clothes.

Washington Cube said...

I learned an old fashioned adage when I was a small child on the issue of the difficulty of wearing red, "You have to wear red, you can't let it wear you." I never get the sense that Republicans command or know how to work red. Maybe pink would be easier for them to manage.

Dale said...

Capt. JS: yes Keith Urban is a little light in his loafers.... I love Aussie men, something about that rugged outback thing (one of my ex's in London was Aussie and he was scrum-diddly umptious!!! I can't get behind the hair of Mr. Urban However.

1). true, but still don't understand it

2). I don't even understand where you're going with that one

3). Truth, however the mans face is busted so I am going to stick with my Brad, Kenny, Tim and Kenny.

4). Bring it big boy, I can roll with the big girls on the GG trivia

5). I'd buy half price clothes but the only ones that fit me are wicked spensive.

WC: I don't think the Reppies would get behind pink so much.....

Taylor said...

1) I don't understand why the three CVSs lock up the lotion and bath gel but leave the more expensive makeup and acne medcine on the same counter, free as a bird for someone to take. The mysterys of life.

3) Brad Paisley. yum-MAY. I'm with on you that. He can get a little mud on my tires ...

4) GGs, thumbs up. Blanche here ... the accent, the flair, the proclivity for mens, and I have a big ass.

5) I'm a complete study in contrasts, myself (as detailed in my friendster profile). I am also a BIG Marshalls/Ross/Maxx/Basement/Loehmann's/Off 5th/Last Call Neiman's fan. You can strike gold if you're willing to dig, let me tell you. The one thing I look for in grocery ads is boneless skinless chicken breasts for $1.99/lb or thereabouts. Those buggers are expensive full price.

Polt said...

Republicans are red because they obviously don't have the fashion sensabilities of us Democrats (and when i say US Democrat, I don't mean myself, cause God know I've got the fashion sense of Helen Keller). And while I'd love to consider myself a "Dorothy" with a hint of "Blanche", I think I'm actually a "Blanche" with too much "Rose" for my own good.

JP said...

Since you brought up the golden girls...I've been dubbed Sophia...more than once...ALthough I do have some Rose moments.
Next, I think if they're dumb enough to smoke next to the gas pump...Good riddance...thinning of the herd.
Lastly, When did Country Singers get so hot? George
Conway Twitty...huh-uh.
Willie Nelson...nope.
and then...
Clint Black... sure why not?
Kenny can scrub out your undies on his abs...HELLS YEAH!
Brad you them ears to hold onto...and boy would you ever!
Oh yeah...I'm so crappy with $$$ I just spend...

Dale said...

Taylor: We will have to exchange fashion tips sometimes because no one understands the plight of the tall man when it comes to furnishing a wardrobe quite like I do.

STAY AWAY FROM MY MAN BRAD...he is a tall drink of water

Polt: I've come to terms with my inner rose, as Chip will no dobt agree, I tell stories that go absolutely no where and sometimes wear outfits that are less than demure... therefore Rose/Blanche

JP:True story, I NEVER had a crush on Billy Ray Cyrus... todays stars I would definitely say yes to a tumble in the hay with!!

STAY AWAY FROM BRAD, He's mine you harlots!!!!!

Taylor said...

I will stay away from Brad as long as all these bitches keep away from MY MAN Tom Brady.