Tuesday, February 21, 2006
The corporate death of the english language
Now I'm not a huge linguist, nor am I opposed to using abbreviated words or slang terms like tots (totally) obvy (obviously) or whatevs (whatever). However as I've been in the corporate gulag for just over a year now I've come to have a well cultivated and supreme hatred of corporate slang that burns with the intensity of a thousand suns. I'm talking about the made up words and terms that not only annoy the hell out of me but seem to be used just to up the importance level of whomever seems to be uttering them.
Action Item: This is probably my most hated of all terms. I'm sorry what? action item... like your job? I've definitely had superiors tell me to "make something an action item." I hate that, it's like saying "can you put that on your to-do list?" I'm at work, I have stuff to do, I will categorize things in the order of importance in which I see fit so eff the eff off, sorry if you couldn't get off your cellulite covered upper management butt to take care of your own stuff but it aint my problem.
Synergy: Yes I realize that this is actually a word according to Websters however it's overuse to describe how a team should work together to finish A, B, or C bugs the poo out of me.... let me do what I have to do, why don't you do what you have to do, and lets not pat ourselves on the back with buzz words that shouldn't be used outside of a laboratory.
Living Document: What an assonine term for a document that you need to constantly update.... I'm over it.
Re-inventing the wheel: If I hear that term one more time I swear I will beat somebody's head in with a stapler.... my streamline stapler....
Is someone still bitter from yesterday after coming home from working to find a house full of dirty dishes and trash that hadn't been tended to?? oh yes you better believe it.... thankfully tonight I have dinner taken care of and relaxation a go go.