Thursday, February 09, 2006

Would You?

Chip is off to Sunny Florida for a week so y'all have to deal with only me till Black Tuesday (VD).

So I was watching LOGO last night as Golden Girls had ended and my Judith Light Moment of Truth movie hadn't come on yet. And there was a commercial for a movie called Hard Pill about a gay man who takes a pill that makes him straight. And it made me think...... given the chance would I take some miracle drug that would make me have proclivities to throw some woman over my shoulder and make the type of love that makes me throw up a little in my mouth when I think about it???

I mean it'd be easier right? I wouldn't have to second guess myself when people stare at me, or always feel like I'm on my guard in situations that I'm unfamiliar with. I wouldn't have to worry about politicians restricting my civil rights or about middle america accepting who I am. My parents wouldn't be having talks with me about being careful where I go or about being tied to a fence and beaten to death because of who I choose to sleep with.

I mean maybe if I'd been able to choose before birth I may have made the choice to make my life a little easier..... but then it'd be a lot less fabulous, and then what would I have to blog about?? ;)

Life aint easy, and it shouldn't be. I've worked too effing long and hard at being proud of EVERY part of myself to try and do away with being gay with a stupid little pill. Thinking about it is like saying.... you're right conservative america, who I am and what I am is wrong and I should try to change in any way possible to conform to your idea of appropriate....... Well a big hearty EFF you to that. I'll take the years of being called names, being told I was a big ole sissy, being made fun of for wanting to be a diver instead of a basketball player, being worried about and being talked about over caving in to a society that would rather I didn't exist.

For as big and tough as my 'Ro counterparts are purported to be, lets see them try and put up with the crap that's gotten us Mo's to where we are.

So..... not having seen the movie with the straight pill I don't know how it turns out..... but no I would def. NOT take it. The gay community is bitchy, it's catty, it's tiresome sometimes and high drama ALL the time. But I'll take my glitter, discoballs, men in womens jeans and sometimes dresses, the fetus-like twinks, the muscle queens, MANY cocktails, and having the word Fabulous making a regular appearance in my vernacular over living a "straight" life anyday of the week and twice on sunday.

Plus, boys are better kissers...... it's a scientific fact.

**Ooh now I've gone and gotten my blood pressure up.... emergency hair and spa appointment followed by dinner out??? That's the ticket**


JP said...

I've actually heard this question before, and you're right, there's a reason we're gay. All of the funniest lines come from our gay wits. There's a picture of a gay couple next to the word "gentrification" in the dictionary. All means of reasonable fashion eminate from the land of 'mo. So say we all took the magic pill...just think of it...the horror! We'd all be stuck in watching Jeff Foxworthy, living in tract housing, and wearing sans-a-belt one pieces. We're doing the world a favor by being queer, will they ever get it? So preach you sh*t sista gurl, I feels you!

PS Tell yo mamma I axed her how she durrin.

Dudley said...

I agree, I've always said that if I turned straight I would have to re-channel all my queeniness into insecure masculinity - NO fun there!

Taylor said...

take the pill?


Can you imagine having to trudge around dank, tasteless watering holes, listening to bad bands, waiting in line and paying cover while the objects of your desire strut by line- and cover-free, and forced to drink beer all the time because you can't get a decent mixed drink as a male in a straight bar; wearing pleated pants, Sketchers, athletic team uniforms, and Tommy Bahama crap?

Now, a pill that would change me into a woman temporarily so that I could nail all those guys that I normally don't have access to?

Dale said...

JP: imagining myself in a tract house wearing a one piece sans belt just made me want to curl up with the latest madonna cd and a gin martini.....

Oh and tell yo momma that my momma and them axed how she and all her chilluns was durrrin.

Dudley: There's as much chance of me turning straight as there is of Dubya getting into MENSA.

Taylor: Pleated pants? Sketchers? Athletic uniforms? *EW!!!!!* And I don't know what tommy bahama is but I'm guessing there's a reason.

As for taking a pill that turns me into a woman... I stand by the fact that I don't trust anything that bleeds for five days and won't die, I personally wouldn't want anything to do with that mess.