Wednesday, February 01, 2006

SOTU..... yikes a million


First let me give my humble S.O.T.U. opinion.... Bush is a good public speaker like I'm a good linebacker. The man has the posture of a petulant school child and the oration skills of a rhesus monkey.

1). Condi : you aren't Jackie O'. stop it with the pink skirt/suit set. You look hella better when you're all dominatrix leather boots, stick with a look that actually works for you. PS, the hair. change it.

2). "Parents having deep concerns about activist courts that are redefining marriage and damaging the health of our most basic institutions": Hey Bushy, remember the time that your niece was sent to rehab for her pill addiction and they found crack on her? yeah that's the gays fault.... you know for such a small portion of the actual population we seem to be able to cause a lot of trouble, maybe it IS true that we have super powers. Oh and as for actual parents concerns??? you might want to turn your blue tie wearing self (don't think I didn't notice) and ask your VP about his concerns..... because I know I'd be concerned if my lesbian daughter who is in a committed relationship and had a successful career and served as my campaign director was trying to destroy the social fabric of the society one marriage at a time.

3). America is addicted to Oil: anybody else see the irony in the fact that the man is decrying the very thing that put his family in the affluent state that it's in today?? McFLY!!! come on McFLY!!!

4). No Child Left Behind: I can't even begin to tell you how many things are wrong with that program. Why don't we make sure that children who aren't up to standards for grade advancement be advanced a grade anyways? and as for rising test scores how about falling test standards? If you REALLY want adequately raise test scores and make our educational system NOT the laughing stock of the developed world why don't you actually pour more money into developing the education of the youth in this country rather than spend it oppressing people in other countries who don't want our "help" anyways *fans self* "is it warm in here?"

5). Cindy Sheehan, silly silly Cindy. While your stunt did get attention, you probably would have gotten a lot MORE positive attention for you cause had you shown up in a pants suit and bore witness to Bush's tirade that pretty much justifies your sons death and the deaths of many other brave men and women. Take a note from Coretta Scott King (may she rest) that dignity and grace will take your movement much farther than wearing an anti-war t shirt.


6). The State of the Union Drinking Game was a splendid idea!

7). Did anyone else notice Frida Kahlo sitting next the First Lady? Holy eyebrow, Batman!

8.) I would like to find the author of the memo instructing the women to wear heinously bright outfits. Seriously, it looked like a rave and/or highlighter convention!

9.) Eyebrows were a big theme last night. First, I was a bit surprised that Tim Kaine delievered the Democratic Response. He's still wet behind the ears! Regardless, did anyone notice his left eyebrow? Oh. My. Goodness. That thing was a solid inch above his eye! I never expected to see a politician lift "The People's Eyebrow," but I was mistaken (editor's note: "The People's Eyebrow" is actually the Rock's right eyebrow, not his left). I could not focus on anything he was saying whatsoever (although I did hear "There's a better way" about 87 gazillion times). Although I also notice that he seemed to mimic some Clinton-esque hand gestures... or maybe I was a bit too tipsy by that point.

10.) How did Mayor Williams manage to get a seat so close to the First Lady and Frida? Does anyone actually take him seriously?

11.) I loathe John Kerry. Margaret is right, he really does resemble the tree people in Lord of the Rings.


Rhinestone Cowgirl said...

You should have given the rebuttal speech.

Dale said...

Yeah I was not impressed by Bushies performance... shocking, he does something sub par?? *GASP*

Speaking of Bushy, I think I need to walk down to the Hill with a rag tag team of waxing technicians and go to town on some staffers... (eyebrows...there should be two)

Oh and Chip: I'm pretty sure the mayor of DC always sits behind the first lady during the SOTU, it's a tradition thing. And I for one only take Mayor Williams seriously when he opens up the first DC public pool by doing a cannonball every summer.

Dale said...

P.S. apparently everybody was playing SOTU drinking games last night but me, I missed out on the train... everyone feel sorry for me.... thank you.

Polt said...

I spent the SOTU watching a program on the Black Death and how it ravaged Europe in the Middle Ages. I'm sure I got just as much info on the State of our union from that program as I would have from Bushie's mumblings.

JP said...

POLT: I think I just tinkled a little...hee hee!

Dop said...

Polt - I saw that too. I just kept thinking how history repeats itself.

Taylor said...

LOL ... I missed nearly the whole thing b/c I was at dinner (central time zone, people, and I HAD to get my cardio in) ... got back just in time for him to make that dig against the gay. And I sure wasn't up for listening to any commentary from the news media or Gov. Homophobe P. Kaine give the rebuttal.

I'm going to have to take Wednesday off one of these years and do a SOTU drinking game up right.

Carrie Broadshoulders said...

I think you should apologize to rhesus monkeys everywhere. That was really mean.