Don't you love the Confucius Says fortunes in fortune cookies??? Don't you wish there were sayings that were relevant to your life?? Don't you wish they had that little bit of sass that only the most fabulous can dole out??? well.....
1). Dale Says: The best laid plans of mice and men are soon to go awry if you introduce two high gravity olde english 40's into your body.
2). Dale Says: After getting home and deciding not to go out after waking up from your excursion in 40-town, it is always a good idea to pour yourself a drink and watch The Joy Luck Club and re-connect with the strong asian woman inside.
3). Dale Says: The crockpot is the best invention of the modern age, you can do no wrong with a crockpot, it is glorious.
4). Dale Says: It doesn't matter if John Karr is guilty of killing Jon Benet or not. He's creepy as hell and shouldn't be allowed in public.
5). Dale Says: It is perfectly acceptable to light a candle and have a moment of silence when you try to fit into your jeans from 5 years ago and find that they no longer will fit over your bum, and then get yourself a cocktail to dull the deep emotional scar. PS I'm still not sure if this is good that they don't fit anymore or bad...
1 comment:
Does Confuscious speak in broken Chinese as well.....you know, pre-translation?
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