Sunday, August 13, 2006

Sea....Sand...Sun

Before I recount the loveliness of this weekend I would just like to say that I just learned that K-Fed is performing at the Teen Choice Awards.... Four horsemen? Apocalypse?? Anyone? Anyone??

On the Friday after a lovely workout (working out is the new therapy) I left our fair haven and traversed to GayDC light.... otherwise known as the Delaware shore to my uncle's beach house.

While laying out in the glorious glorious sun on saturday I saw a pod of dolphins playing out not too far from the shore, one of my cousins said lets go and swim near them..... I told him he was retarded and that he should park his pasty white butt where it was. I'll grant him I'm sure it evokes memories of flipper etc. however the last time I did that all of a sudden I got a panic attack and I flashed back to memories of the award winning show "when animals attack" and I'll bet dollars to doughnuts I'd be that guy that got speared by the cute cuddly dolphins and the headline would read..... "Gorgeous beachgoer, who had previously caused whiplash on the beach with so many head turns, and who was obviously touched with a bit of the downs made the mistake of swimming with wild animals." And people would laugh.... and I wouldn't blame them.

My cousin had brought a lady friend to the beach so in an effort get to know her better we went to the local bar, where we met some military-esque gentlemen who made the mistake of playfully challenging us to go shot for shot with them..... why straight men feel the need to be so foolish around me to impress me is something that is very beyond me.... especially when I go shot for shot with them till one of them pukes and they have to buy all the shots and I got to keep the shot glasses...... who now has 30 tiki shot glasses in their possession??? mmmmhmmm that's right b*tches.

Sunday I spent the day mentally judging people on the beach, some people read, I judge. Ugly swimsuits? check. Unfortunate haircuts with bangs and bad perms? check. Groups of straight guys that like to work out and then go to the beach and stand around looking at each other but not actually interacting with any members of the opposite sex or going in the water? check. Fat-ill behaved children? check.

And my weekend was complete.

2 comments:

JP said...

You're weekend of carefree cocktails with various na'er-do-wells and and rogues always impressess me. Does the tiara ever fall off your sweet head wile throwing back a shooter?

Dale said...

JP: It's all about the hair clips, and years of practice... years.