Ok so how awkward is this......
While preparing for a huge project meeting at work today it was me and my co-worker the evangelical christian... .alone.... in a big conference room...by ourselves. And this is the conversation that ensued:
Dale: So (in the interest of conversation ) big plans for VD?
Borney: Oh I'm going over to one of my single friends apartments for a prayer group.
Dale: Oh...... fun.
Borney: Yeah it's a fun co-ed group, we pray for our future spouses
Dale: (thinking --> I may say a silent prayer for whomever is desperate enough to marry your whacked out A$$ too...) Actually said... oh.... fun.
Borney: Any plans? Are you going out with your girlfriend??
*Now at this point I'm second guessing myself as to whether she said what I think she said. That's right everyone.... she thought that yours truly was not only straight but involved with a lucky dame*
The thoughts then rush through my head... "what do I do, should I just out and out point at my face and say... oh honey, aren't you a dear.... no no no I'm a big ole mo." What did I do?? besides the awkward robot dance???
Dale: Oh ha ha ha ha, nope, haven't had one of those since I was 14.
Borney: Oh..... well you're welcome to come to the prayer circle, should be a nice co-ed group of people
Dale: *thinking* "hmmm I wonder if there are any hot guys there.... after all if Latter Days has taught me anything......" *speaking* "Oh thanks but I'm going to crawl into bed with some chinese food and a good movie"
That would be the first and only time that someone has mistook me for a member of the rougher species (Ro)... This awkward robot dance DC Gay of our life moment is brought to you by the color fuschia and the punctuation mark ?
8 comments:
You're so polite, just like me. Well, most of the time.
I seriously cannot invision what a prayer group would be like. I mean, I grew up Southern Baptist and all that, and I STILL don't have a clue. Do you pray the whole time? Do you pray in pairs and then switch off? Do you have prayer topics a-la Linda Richman's discussion topics while she's verklempt?
I envision it as kind of a prayer orgy, where you switch off, switch positions, do it in a circle, etc. Yes, I went there.
You should draw her a benign cartoon about Jesus and see how it erupts violence throughout everything south of DC.
You should have just told her that you were gay, but "Perhaps I should go to your prayer group to pray for my future husband."
I would have loved to hear her reaction tho that statement.
HAHAHA God will punish you for that.
Maybe you should have told her you are much too fabulous for a girlfriend. And maybe she would have gotten the hint at "faaaabuloooous!"
Hehe.
Or, you could have said - I don't think they're ready for my jelly.
I think she just mean GRRRRRRLLLLfriend and was trying to gay speak with you and you shot her down.
That or she's totally clueless.
I still think you should have shown up at the prayer circle shitfaced with a gaggle of gays and see how they'd react.
You should have gone and asked to lead the prayer and been like. "Oh lord, please let my next boyfriend be rippling with muscles, have a job, have a good supplier, but not hooked on drugs, and have a huge cock. and let my std tests come back negative. Amen."
Taylor: I think it's because I'm delicate like the majestic magnolia, gloriously rising from the banks of the mighty mississippi that I'm so well mannered.
AB: ha ha ha, it'd be a riot of like the 5 borney's in DC, all of which are single (shocking) and all of which are at that prayer group.
CC: I was afraid her head would pop like a balloon and I don't want to be responsible for that mess.
AM: I was about to say... oh no my boyfriend doesn't like it when I date women....but I refrained, because I'm a lady.
CB: I could still show up at the prayer circle... although I'd have to hit that sacramental wine pretty hard beforehand.
HPo1: ha ha ha ha, lets not forget "and I hope he comes from a good family, has beach property and will furnish me with a diamond bigger than my face.... amen."
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