Wednesday, August 17, 2005

Are you over him?

Talking with co-workers (because do I ever do anything productive?) we were discussing if, and how one could tell if one was over one's last 'ex'. This is the person to whom you referred as your bf, held hands, cuddled in public, all the things that make those single among us want to retch in disgust.

You realize one day that you haven't thought about this person in a week and that's a good thing: you no longer obsess over who they're seeing and if they're happier than you because obviously that is just NOT acceptable, also you stop wondering if they think about you or worry that you're happier than they are.

You don't stress out about seeing them out: one of the pitfalls in DC about having a gay relationship is the inevitable awkward seeing him out post-breakup. This may or may not involve an awkward hello and your friends grilling you the rest of the night about how did that make you feel...

You don't have feelings of malice and wish to do them harm: They aren't worth your time to worry about, you have bigger fish to fry and you don't have time to deal with the little annoying guppies. The opposite of love by the way isn't hate, it's apathy, once you stop being pissed off at them even though you broke up with them in the first place you're in the clear.

As "the boy" put it, "You burn the mother F!#$ing bridge": For me this was a direct email to the person in question who I refer to now as the greasy pedophile migrant worker telling him in no uncertain terms that he was to not contact me or acknowledge my presence in any way shape or form lest my wrath be unleashed with the intensity of a thousand suns (I'm not dramatic, I'm descriptive!)

It also helps if, say, your ex also falls into a very bad string of situations which ends up with him losing his job, most of his friends, and any modicum of respect he once had by his peers..... can anyone think of any others??

6 comments:

The Boy said...

Ummm.....yeah, it's also pretty satisfying when you break up with your former (of three + years) and he starts seeing someone like a week later, and then you find out that they are moving in together only to find out how unhappy they are, and then your ex tells your best friend not to tell you about the impending divorce, but he does, and then you run into that person and call them out on it. That's just an example, I don't know anyone who that has happened to though...

OH yeah, finding out that your ex's new man is a bedwetter is pretty sweet too. Again, just an example.

Dale said...

O.....M......G That's awesome...isn't that just so satisfying in a heartless bitch kind of way??? Also, and I don't know who would ever do this, but seeing your ex after breaking up apparently because you're leaving the country and he "wants you to make the most of your experience" and seeing him all hugged up on some trick at sadlands, and then telling the bartender with whom you are on a first name basis with that you saw your ex dealing Crystal Meth in the bathroom and having him thrown out and causing a big scene all the while looking doe-eyed.... yeah I don't know who would do that......

Also, finding out that your ex's new "friend" is a minor and calling him out on it and watching the blood drain from his face.....although that's just something I heard somewhere.....

Kathryn Is So Over said...

I would say, when you stop checking the guy's voicemail.... totally hypothetical. I bet that would be a big sign, if anyone ever dated a cheater you had to do that to. You know.

Dale said...

oh I've been there too.... men are pigs.... now please excuse me while I eat my weight in Ben&Jerry's

Anonymous said...

i enjoy the moment where you make peace with your ex and have nothing but good feelings for him, only to find out the next day that he knew he was HIV+ before you ever started dating him. Then you get back to that hateful place and remain there for life.

is it time for Happy Hour yet?

Oh, that girl. said...

You stop trying to "investigate" him and what he's doing now on the internet. That is usually a good sign.