Talking with co-workers (because do I ever do anything productive?) we were discussing if, and how one could tell if one was over one's last 'ex'. This is the person to whom you referred as your bf, held hands, cuddled in public, all the things that make those single among us want to retch in disgust.
You realize one day that you haven't thought about this person in a week and that's a good thing: you no longer obsess over who they're seeing and if they're happier than you because obviously that is just NOT acceptable, also you stop wondering if they think about you or worry that you're happier than they are.
You don't stress out about seeing them out: one of the pitfalls in DC about having a gay relationship is the inevitable awkward seeing him out post-breakup. This may or may not involve an awkward hello and your friends grilling you the rest of the night about how did that make you feel...
You don't have feelings of malice and wish to do them harm: They aren't worth your time to worry about, you have bigger fish to fry and you don't have time to deal with the little annoying guppies. The opposite of love by the way isn't hate, it's apathy, once you stop being pissed off at them even though you broke up with them in the first place you're in the clear.
As "the boy" put it, "You burn the mother F!#$ing bridge": For me this was a direct email to the person in question who I refer to now as the greasy pedophile migrant worker telling him in no uncertain terms that he was to not contact me or acknowledge my presence in any way shape or form lest my wrath be unleashed with the intensity of a thousand suns (I'm not dramatic, I'm descriptive!)
It also helps if, say, your ex also falls into a very bad string of situations which ends up with him losing his job, most of his friends, and any modicum of respect he once had by his peers..... can anyone think of any others??