Tuesday, August 02, 2005

My Office.... a.k.a the Funny Farm

I feel that scientific research of any sort, for an extended period of time tends to make one eccentric, nay, weird... I think to be eccentric you have to have at least a million dollars and refer to yourself either in the royal we or refer to dead relatives as if you just got off the phone with them.

The people in my office could definitely populate a sitcom/docudrama... examples:

Lack of shoes: Started out with a small middle aged jewish man at the end of the hall who would take his shoes off as soon as he got in, he'd be wearing socks, and a suit, so now he's the little jewish man puttering around with just dress socks on and no shoes. Now it wouldn't be that big of a problem if other people didn't jump on the bandwagon so now there are at least 5 people who just don't wear shoes between the hours of 9-5, this includes to meetings and I assume the bathroom, which makes me sad and queasy.

Bamboo Woman: Woman on my hall who, when you step into her office looks like there should be a geisha serving some tea and a ninja peeking from behind one of the huuuuuuge bamboo plants that she currently owns. Which incidentally are right next to the painting of chinese calligraphy that she has. And no this is not a Asian Sister, this would be the whitest white woman in life. I always feel oppressed when I go in there, that and I expect her to say something like "wanna get sushi?" and being part asian I'm not sure if that should offend me.........although spicy tuna roll = happy tummy.

Gay Co-worker who keeps poster sized picture of other Gay co-worker: On my floor the gay men outnumber the straight men (that's right sisters, we'eve kept our eyes on the prize all this time and look where it's gotten us!!), so needless to say there's drama a go go and one of the reasons why I keep the door to my office shut for the most part. Anywho, go to talk to one of the other 'Mo's' about my translation of a document that I'm working on and I turn and there's a poster sized picture of another gay co-worker. Now as far as I know they aren't dating, I may have to do a little more research but I don't think so. But that's just odd, I'm sorry even if it wasn't a coworker, to have a poster sized picture of someone you know in your office = weird.

Gay Co-worker who Scares not Shares.... a LOT: Another gay-coworker, who actually just quit to move in with his ugly boyfriend of 3 months and have a commitment ceremony, was under the impression that we were besty's... we weren't. So one day I'm IM'ing him instead of doing work and he sends me this link because we were talking about models/modeling (gays talking about something superficial? SHOCK AND SUPRISE) and he sends me this link to "his portfolio". Yeah they were naked pictures of him all over my computer screen, I snarfed my Iced latte like whoah and had to awkwardly avoid him until.... well he quit.

So in summary, Scientific research breeds weirdness.... and apparently in me breeds the capacity to take more than 2 naps in an 8 hour period while feigning actual productivity!

12 comments:

Miss Penny Lane said...

Yikes re: no shoes in the office, especially the loo. That's just gross! It's one thing to take off your shoes in your own office/cube, as long as no smell permeates the hallways, but to walk around the place? That's just odd.

Dale said...

NO KIDDING, I'm a big supporter of taking off your shoes at your desk in your office if there's no smell issue but walking around the halls??? gag !! also...friday night, cocktails??

VP of Dior said...

Perhaps you should threaten the bamboo lady with a visit from the Foot Clan if she doesn't take down her pier one imports wall hangings.

but i do love pier one regardless...

Dale said...

oh bamboo was totally on sale this weekend at IKEA and I picked some up... every house should have some...that being said you shouldn't ever have a space that looks like you're fighting your way through da nang, especially an office!

DC Cookie said...

is it bad to have bamboo that has only 2 shoots? An office mate who moved to a different office left it behind and I inherited it. I thought it was supposed to have 3 shoots to be lucky.

Asian Mistress said...

I personally have issues with say, a blonde model in an asian dress. That's just wrong.

However, I am a white girl trapped in an asian girl's body - so I guess I can't say anything. :)

Complacent Chase said...

If someone at work never wore shoes...I would "accidently" drop staples all over the floor.

As faras the white woman with the Asian decor...everytime I passed her desk I would ask if she saw "Charlie".

hee hee

Dale said...

Asian Mistress and Chase-ing, HILARIOUS! yeah I'd drop staples or thumbtacks if I wasn't afraid that there'd be memo's about wasted office supplies going around, plus one of the shoeless wonders is a techie and I'm not trying to piss him off.

As for the woman in the bamboo grove, I'm guessing she just caught a case of the yellow fever. I'm tempted to come in one day and just do a fan dance outside her office.

Kathryn Is So Over said...

You don't have a lurker? There is an older man in my office who, when my door is shut, just stands in front of the WALL OF GLASS next to the door and stares at me until I notice him. Would it kill him to knock? yucky yucky yuck yuck

Dale said...

EWWWWW that's gross.... no but we do have el random guy that roams the hall with his styrofoam cup full of coffee all day, I wonder if he actually works here.......

Kathryn Is So Over said...

We need to swap stories. At my last job, there was an older guy (who reported to me!) who used to check on every single person on every single floor a couple of times a day. He was aware of it, and referred to his habit as "doing my laps." Freakshow.

Dale said...

ew... there's a guy here that will wear a kilt on occasion and be very frank about the fact that he is au naturale underneath... I think he wants someone to check it out... NOT IT!!