Tuesday, August 30, 2005

Ivanna.... mail from Marla is here!

Break up with ex number one.... let's call him Juan. Juan and I dated for a period of about 6 months, then we broke up... it was messy, it wasn't fun, I had just graduated from college, moved back to DC and trying to figure out my next step when senor asshat decided he didn't want to be tied down..... Fine.... I can be mature.... sure I can.

Unfortunately my interpretation of being mature was to still hang out with our mutual friends, where he would regale everyone with stories of his last conquest. Note: he is 30, getting pudgier by the day, and only "dates" guys between the ages of 18-22... (Oh he's really short and hasn't been employed in over a year..... did I mention that too??) I was about to turn 23 so I guess the guy who was next in line was the marla maples to my Ivanna. I stuck around for a year taking his crap, not wanting to cause any problems within our group of friends, letting him make comments about the physicality of our relationship, comparing it to current ones, and pretty much crapping all over me.... I took it, and didn't say anything.

I did this for a year, I know I know, how masochistic is that? Oh well, however, right after I moved into the city away from him, I told him that I didn't want him contacting me, no phone calls, no emails, I didn't want him to exist in my realm of conciousness, that he could have as much sex with as many 18 year olds as he wants to *vomit* but I did not want any part of his psychotic reality. He emailed me, I didn't respond, he texted me, I changed my phone number, he finally got the hint, even though apparently he asks about me constantly.

About 10 minutes ago Marla Maples just requested to be my "friend" on friendster, along with the message.... "Hey Dale it's G, remember me I'm Juan's friend? I met you at that party once, remember I actually kept my clothes on? I just wanted to say hey" The party in which he was referring I think I had taken off my shirt at some point, but what a little piece of crap...... Unfortunately now I'm going to have to go ahead and make sure that both the ex and this child (19) feel pain..... can't say I didn't warn them...... Hell hath no fury like this bitch scorned......

6 comments:

DC Cookie said...

Why the heck would 'G' want to be your friendster? To make him look cooler because he has more friendsters?

Maybe Marla thinks you're cute?

Dudley said...

I feel that simply declining his friend request on friendster is enough to get the point across with a little side of f*** you. Keep a low profile on this one while you systematically plot their demise. *insert evil laugh here*

The Boy said...

I would advise you to ignore and "Disengage." Well, the girls run practice drills with me....with roll playing scenarios. Here's an example:

Party Girl: You've been drinking heavily at Badlands. You see XXX, who broke your heart. What do you do?
The Boy: DISENGAGE!

Don't give them the satisfaction of knowing that you could give two sh*ts.

Dale said...

Oh I'm taking option 3, not bitchy, not ignoring.... I responded with a "hope everything's well, really busy, talk to you soon" email... friends close enemies closer type thing, besides.... as I've discovered the best revenge is living well and be annoyingly polite, nothing gets someone goat faster.

Dale said...

On reflection.... 3 miles on the treadmill at the gym and a glass of merlot after a hotter than hell shower, I have decided to take the road I should have taken a while ago and ignore it... the opposite of caring isn't hatred.... it's apathy.

Complacent Chase said...

I think you made the best decision, Dale. It could have been a trap afterall. You know, Marla probably figured you would either be really nice (fake) or mean (bitter bitch)...so to ignore is the best thing to do in such situations...theBoy put it more eloquently, though. :-)