While enjoying a casual beer with Dale at JR's last night, I was reminded of a troubling trend within the gay community: Goatees. (I am aware that it's not a 'gay' phenomenon, for the record.)
Goatees DO not qualify as any of the following: cute, attractive, hot, etc.
PLEASE do us all a favor and immediately take one of the following two actions:
1) Shave off your goatee
2) If you're partial to facial hair (Dale knows I am, from time to time) grow a full beard! Beards look more accomplished than goatees on multiple levels.
A final note, if you're ever considering purchasing a shirt that reads, "I do things you're afraid to fantasize about," stop, put down the shirt and proceed to the nearest exit of whichever retail location in which you find yourself.
Small details such as these will make life for all much more enjoyable.